The Expendables 2

For F*** Magazine, Singapore

56Movie Review                                                                                                                     15/8/12

THE EXPENDABLES 2

2012

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Jet Li, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Liam Hemsworth, Yu Nan, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris

Directed by: Simon West

            Slowly but surely, Hollywood seems to be learning the power of nostalgia, the appeal of the ‘George Lucas Throwback’ over stale production line multiplex fodder. Just as the Star Wars and Indiana Jones films were homages to the science fiction and pulp adventures of yore on which Lucas was raised, so are several recent releases. Super 8 was a love letter to the likes of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, The Goonies and E.T.: The Extraterrestrial. Rock of Ages embraced the kitsch and exuberance of musical films such as Grease and Footloose. And, of course, The Expendables was a macho salute to 80s-early 90s action flicks such as the Rambo movies, Commando, Hard Target and their ilk. While many were left somewhat unimpressed, it definitely left a taste for more of the same old-school wham bang fun, and opened to door to a sequel and the hope that more somewhat-forgotten action icons would be back to join Stallone’s motley crew.

            The boys are back in town: team leader Barney Ross (Stallone), knife-loving tough Brit sidekick Lee Christmas (Statham), expert martial artist Yin Yang (Li), Gunner Jensen, the brutish former traitor made good (Lundgren), heavy munitions specialist Hale Caesar (Crews) and demolitions guru Toll Road (Couture). They are joined by Billy the Kid (Hemsworth), a fresh-faced ex-military sniper whom Barney has taken a shine to,  as well as Chinese agent Maggie Chan (Yu), on loan to the crew by their CIA employer Mr Church (Willis). They’re pitted against a treacherous rival mercenary leader with the aptronym Jean Vilain (Van Damme), keen to get his hands on a long-forgotten stockpile of pure plutonium rods. Thankfully the Expendables have allies “Lone Wolf” Booker (Norris) and Trench (Schwarzenegger) to get them out of the occasional jam.

           This film is something of an improvement over the first, which was more a proof-of-concept than anything else. It was Stallone telling audiences “hey, I still have the clout to pull all my old pals together”, but it really wasn’t a lot more beyond that. Here, there are more explosive action sequences, more banter and bickering amongst the team and more enemy soldiers to splatter with high-caliber rounds. Directing duties have been passed from Sylvester Stallone to Simon West of Con Air and Lara Croft: Tomb Raider fame. The guy clearly knows his way around an action scene, and these are generally quite a hoot to watch. The opening sequence which has the team blasting their way into an enemy stronghold in Nepal on an assignment to rescue a kidnapped Chinese billionaire sets the tone pretty well, with high speed chases, huge fireballs and flying bullets galore.

            However, films like these ultimately do not lend themselves well to plots or storylines beyond the most rudimentary, and it is made amply clear that the narrative is not of primary concern. It’s almost painfully straightforward in the way it’s told, with Jean Vilain’s motivations typical of baddies in genre pictures. His atrocities towards a mining village are shown and there’s chatter about the impact the weaponising of that much plutonium will have, but somehow the threat doesn’t take root, the stakes and magnitude of the danger never truly felt. There’s some amusing back-and-forth between the guys and their love-hate-love relationship is a nice undercurrent, but some one-liners do feel awfully forced – at one point, Schwarzenegger and Willis reference The Terminator, Die Hard and Rambo all within ten seconds. Eventually, the nostalgia-tinted goggles need to come off, and then it’s evident that while this is a good film, it is fairly unremarkable beyond its action hero clout.

            This brings us to the ensemble cast. Stallone and everyone else returning  from the first film is only more enjoyable to watch, Lundgren in particular – although Gunner betrayed the team in the first film, all seems to be forgiven and he is made out to be the hulking dunderhead, whose secret past involves getting a degree in chemical engineering from MIT on a Fulbright scholarship and becoming a bouncer, mirroring Lundgren’s own real-life experiences (he’s a graduate in chemical engineering from Stockholm’s Royal Institute of Technology and Australia’s University of Sydney who became a model, bouncer and later bodyguard to singer/actress Grace Jones).

 It is great to see Jean-Claude Van Damme back on the big screen and it’s somehow even more satisfying to see him as the scenery-chewing baddie that our heroes have to deal with, and adding to the evilness is martial artist Scott Adkins as Vilain’s ruthless lieutenant. The film has lots of fun with its upgraded cameos from Willis and Schwarzenegger, and Chuck Norris’ appearances are sure to get many excited, the fact that he was pushing for a PG-13 rating in place of the more fitting R notwithstanding. The film seems half clued-in on the fact the internet memes of Norris’ superhuman prowess were probably intended to be half-ironic, and Norris as Booker (a nod to his character of the same name in Good Guys Wear Black) gets to recount one such tale, involving a king cobra. Thankfully, it’s not too overplayed.

            Newcomers Liam Hemsworth and Yu Nan made everyone at least a little wary, and rest assured that Hemsworth’s role is considerably smaller than the promotional material makes it out to be, and he is nowhere as out-of-place among the action movie stalwarts as he could have felt, his Billy the Kid injecting a sense of tenderness to the proceedings, someone Barney sees almost as a surrogate son. However, Yu Nan fares much worse. She is proficient in the English language, having appeared in Speed Racer several years prior and Dolph Lundgren’s own low-budget action flick Diamond Dogs, but the inclusion of her character just seems so clumsy and crowbarred-in. She comes off as a little too smug for her own good and seems even less skilled as an actor than some of her action hero costars, and that’s saying something. If the filmmakers wanted a Chinese character in the bulk of the film, they should have increased Jet Li’s part; he merely appears for the opening and then is missing-in-action for the rest of the movie. That’s a crying shame given how cool his brutal hand-to-hand combat scene is. They also missed the opportunity to have a truly memorable female member of the team – surely the likes of Sigourney Weaver, Linda Hamilton or Michelle Yeoh would have been better fits, no?

            At any rate, if you’re a genre fan, you’ll find plenty in The Expendables 2 to like. It’s a trip down memory lane fuelled by bravado, octane and lead, and fulfills its purpose of being a throwback to the glory days of its stars better than the first one did. It’s just that kind of movie, intellectually featherweight, brawny entertainment, only packaged better and presented slicker. It’s a bit of a shame that all this was at the expense of a meatier, more satisfying story, though.

SUMMARY: It’s the guys you love, back and kicking more behind than ever - while it’s a notch or two up from its predecessor, there’s still the feeling that the best men for the job could have been a little better at it.

RATING: 3.5 OUT OF 5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Quoted! The Bourne Legacy Newspaper ad

This really made my day, whee!

  

 From the 'Today' newspaper.

The Bourne Legacy

For F*** Magazine, Singapore

Movie Review                                                                                                             7/8/12

THE BOURNE LEGACY

2012

Starring: Jeremy Renner, Edward Norton, Rachel Weisz

Directed by: Tony Gilroy

            The last movie that this reviewer saw was the remake of Total Recall, and films like that one would make one think: “do we really need another Bourne movie – let alone one that doesn’t even have Jason Bourne in it?” Paul Greengrass, director of the later two Bourne films in the original trilogy, jokingly suggested making a fourth one named The Bourne Redundancy, and its star Matt Damon similarly expressed a degree of disdain for a new film. The whole concept of a franchise spin-off does seem to reek of Hollywood cash grab. However, rest assured – Bourne’s legacy remains completely untarnished, because, boy, is this a good one.

            This is best classified as a “side-quel”, the events of the film unfolding at the same time as those of The Bourne Ultimatum. Jeremy Renner plays Aaron Cross, an “Outcome” agent – Outcome being a parallel top-secret project to Treadstone, which Jason Bourne was a part of. Bourne’s actions have compromised the project, leading the higher-ups to forcefully dismantle Outcome – this translates to killing everybody involved and covering up their tracks. This operation is spearheaded by Eric Byer (Norton), who sends a Predator drone after Cross while the latter is in the middle of a training exercise in Alaska.

            Cross fakes his death when he realises he’s been, well, double-crossed. Meanwhile, a doctor goes on a rampage at a pharmaceutical research facility, where drugs designed to enhance the physical and mental performance of Outcome agents are developed. Dr Marta Shearing (Weisz), a scientist and doctor who has been evaluating Cross and the other Outcome agents, escapes, only to be targeted at her home. Cross saves her and the two go on the run, with Byer and his team scrambling to track them down. Cross and Shearing head to Manila, where the pills are manufactured, as Cross comes to realise he’s been in way over his head just as the drugs begin to wear off.

            The Bourne Legacy is, unfortunately, a movie people haven’t really been excited about. It’s been lost in the shuffle of late-Summer blockbusters, and its premise has been met with indifference. Well, Tony Gilroy and co. have to be given their due. This was intended to be a straight sequel to The Bourne Ultimatum, with Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass set to reprise their roles as star and director respectively, but it eventually fell through. It’s safe to say that Gilroy, who co-wrote all three of the Bourne films and who co-wrote this one with his brother Dan, has more than salvaged the situation.

            The Bourne Legacy is taut, intelligent, bristling with tension and excitement and is an overall harrowing ride from start to finish. Gilroy finds a near-perfect blend of smarts and action such that one never drowns out the other, and, thankfully, he’s less of a shaky-cam proponent than his predecessor Greengrass was. The story is coherent, the characters reasonably well-defined, and just like the first three Bourne films there’s always an undercurrent of credibility, and the realism that The Bourne Identity reinvigorated the espionage film genre with is in good form here. While some bits, particularly the “super-soldier” angle, are a bit of a stretch, it’s never ridiculous and always absorbing. There’s a sense of continuity established by the inclusion of some footage from Ultimatum as well as Joan Allen, David Strathairn, Scott Glenn and Albert Finney reprising their roles in briefer parts, and it’s used just enough so the connection doesn’t feel contrived.

            One of the primary challenges this film faced was making Aaron Cross a well-defined character and distinct enough from Jason Bourne. This challenge is mostly overcome, in that while Cross isn’t as complex and intriguing as Bourne, he’s still great fun to watch. Jason Bourne was a confused and disoriented man who had to come to terms with his muddled past, make sense of the remarkable skills he possessed and preserve whatever new relationships he formed. Aaron Cross on the other hand knows full well what he’s doing, and is a little more idealistic and fresh-faced than Bourne was. With the help of those special pills, he gains incredible physical and mental skills, shuffling between martial artistry, official documents forgery and resourceful Mac-Gyvering with ease. In an early scene, he outfoxes a pack of wolves and bests a military drone sent to kill him at the same time. That’s pretty badass. Of course, there’s a little of the inner conflict Bourne had so much of, but Renner makes sure to keep the angst perfectly in check.

            Dr Marta Shearing, as played by Rachel Weisz, is a lot more than the token action movie chick. It’s a clever move to have the female lead be a scientist indirectly involved in the protagonist’s predicament, who is as integral to the plot as he is. Sure, Rachel Weisz probably doesn’t quite look like a genetic scientist, but she’s a lot more believable than the boatload of hotties Hollywood has been trying to pass off as geniuses for years (Denise Richards and Jessica Alba, anyone?) – and a much better actress too. She’s the frightened woman jolted out of her everyday existence as much as she is an intelligent and level-headed scientist, and this isn’t one of those films with a romantic subplot crowbarred in for no reason. 

           

            The antagonists in this film, much as in the first three films, aren’t cackling, maniacal megalomaniacs – they’re intelligence officers, analysts and bureaucrats acting under orders, efficient, quietly menacing and dangerously amoral, with a frightening wealth of resources at their fingertips. Edward Norton plays the main bad guy – which, for the geeks out there, means Hawkeye is pitted against the (other) Incredible Hulk. He’s undoubtedly a brilliant actor, and doesn’t let the fact that his character is mostly confined to mission control hinder his performance. For the most part though, he never comes face-to-face with Cross, but he and his team always feel like a menace. It’s an exciting game of cat and mouse to watch, with Cross half a step ahead of his pursuers, but never for long.

            The Bourne Legacy pulls through, retaining much of that Bourne spirit yet nary a sense of been-there-done-that or, God forbid, a direct-to-video feel. It turns out to be quite a bit more than a decently-written piece of fan-fiction – it’s a clever, high-energy espionage thriller that could have easily felt slapped-together or cheap, but is instead well-conceived, well-crafted and well-acted. We certainly hope Matt Damon will be tempted to return to the series to team up with Renner should a sequel materialise.

SUMMARY: Our report on The Bourne Legacy: vital signs healthy, cognitive and motor functions above average, adrenaline levels good – Outcome: success.

RATING: 4/5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Total Recall (2012)

 Written for F*** Magazine, Singapore

Movie Review                                                                                                             6/8/12

TOTAL RECALL

2012

Starring: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel

Directed by: Len Wiseman

Judging from all the reboots, remakes and “re-imaginings” flooding the cinemas as of late, it would seem that Hollywood either thinks us moviegoers have terrible memories, or they’re running low on ideas – the latter seems more likely. This film is a remake of the much-beloved 1990 film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, which in turn was based on a book by revered science fiction author Philip K Dick. The book’s title? We Can Remember It for You Wholesale, which the filmmakers seem intent on making into reality. To add insult to injury, the studio behind this one is named…Original Film.

However, easy as it is to bash this film on the fact that it’s a remake alone, it’s also important to judge it on its own merits. This reviewer is at somewhat of an advantage having not seen the original film from start to end and therefore not having an emotional attachment to that iteration. While it might be helpful to compare the two versions, as a standalone film, does Total Recall 2.0 work? Actually, kinda, sorta, yes.

Filling in for Austrian beefcake Schwarzenegger is Irish beef patty Colin Farrell as Doug Quaid, a lowly factory worker who makes a living assembling robot policemen. Quaid is married to the beautiful Lori (Beckinsale), but feels markedly unsatisfied with his boring existence and decides to get a memory implant from the company Rekall, which would allow him to live out his fantasy of being a treacherous secret agent all in his head. However, it turns out that Quaid really was a secret agent who had been given a memory wipe, and his darling wife, an undercover agent monitoring him for the tyrannical Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), immediately sets about trying to kill him. The mysterious Melina (Biel), a resistance fighter from Quaid’s former life, rescues him as he struggles to make sense of the disorienting revelation of his secret past.

Total Recall is generally an enjoyable science fiction action film which draws the viewer in somewhat with some pretty cool action sequences and good visual effects work, and functions competently on the level of a popcorn flick thrill ride. However, the film offers nothing new, and this seems to hammer home the point that a Total Recall remake was probably redundant. It seems stripped of whatever intellectual subtext Dick had written into his short story and plays like a more action-driven and less clever Minority Report, also a P-K-D adaptation (which had Colin Farrell in it too). The slums of the Colony, which Quaid calls home, are a multicultural, cyber-punk hodgepodge with predominantly Asian influences, which is what most every depiction of a futuristic dystopia has been since Blade Runner, the first film adaptation of a Philip K Dick story. The maglev car chase is cool and all, but seems ripped right out of Minority Report. And the robot police force is pretty much a cross between the Stormtroopers from Star Wars and the robots from I, Robot.

However, one would be wont to mention that the action sequences manage to generate some excitement, shot in Len Wiseman’s glossy, kinetic style. He might want to rename himself “Lensflare Wiseman” because his use of that effect borders on the excessive. There are a few inventive elements to be seen: in the future, people commute between The Colony and the United Federation of Britain via “the fall”, a gravity train that tunnels through the earth. Cue fight scenes in zero-G, and a relatively spectacular finale which sees the super-subway get destroyed. There are also the afore-mentioned maglev cars and elevators that, like the one out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, can travel every which way. The close calls where elevator cars zip right past our heroes at frightening speeds can be genuinely intense. On the gadget front, there are the literal “hand phones”, biotech implants which ensure you’ll never leave your phone at home again.

Colin Farrell has shied away from big-budget blockbusters after the massive failure that was 2004’s Alexander, instead rebuilding his reputation in critically-acclaimed smaller films such as Crazy Heart, In Bruges and Ondine. He shows off considerable action hero chops and while he’s no Ahnold (at his peak, anyway), does have the muscle definition and bulk to show for it. He marshals a confused, paranoid guy who has remarkable abilities lurking beneath the surface pretty well, but one gets the impression that Arnie was probably much more exciting in the part, though Farrell is clearly a better actor.

Kate Beckinsale shines as Lori and visibly relishes the chance to go all-out evil, cold-hearted bitch. She does a great transformation from “nice” Lori to “evil” Lori, and it’s clear that director Wiseman loves showing off his wife. With the Underworld movies under her belt, Beckinsale is great to watch in the martial arts and gunfight sequences, combining a degree of elegance and sex appeal with dangerous force. Jessica Biel is quite a bit blander, and seems not much more than the tagalong action girl, though she does have her share of action bits (including a catfight with Beckinsale – mrrrow!) and eh, is alright.

Bryan Cranston as the main villain is woefully underused. The guy is an excellent actor, but has too little screen time to make much of an impact and most of it squeezed in at the end as a lead up to the finale. Beckinsale ends up shouldering the bad guy responsibilities, when Lori is meant to be a henchwoman of Chancellor Cohaagen’s. Bill Nighy, an alumnus of Wiseman’s Underworld flicks, gets even shorter shrift as Matthias, the leader of the resistance – getting a grand total of one scene and barely enough time for his signature scenery chewing.

If you’ve come for your share of futuristic science fiction wham bam fisticuffs, then Total Recall Redux delivers those goods. However, if you’re a fan of the first film, be forewarned that Mars, mutants, exploding eyeballs and creepy tumour-creatures are nowhere to be seen. This seems more sanitized, safer and more generic, but also less self-indulgent and more accessible (Paul Verhoeven, director of the original, isn’t known for his subtlety).

SUMMARY: Strap yourself in, but it’s not so much happy trails as mildly-but-barely satisfying trails. The earlier film is probably the way to go for a crazier, wilder trip.

RATING: 3/5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Iron Sky

As published in Issue #31 of F*** Magazine Singapore

Movie Review                                                                                                             10/7/12

IRON SKY

2012

Starring: Julia Dietze, Götz Otto, Udo Kier

Directed by: Timo Vuorensola

             There are few movie villains audiences love to hate as much as the Nazis. This is probably because they were villains in real life too, and represent a dark and tragic chunk of modern history. For a long time, the Third Reich, with its severely-uniformed storm troopers, inhumane torture and experimentation and goose-stepping soldiers, were Hollywood’s go-to bad guys, be it in serious war films (Schindler’s List, Sophie’s Choice) or pulpy action-adventure flicks (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Hellboy). Many films that didn’t directly contain Nazis had them as inspiration for their own villains: where do you think George Lucas got the name “Stormtrooper” from?  

            As of late, Hollywood has turned their attention to other easier targets (Arab terrorists, African warlords and North Korean despots) and Nazis have been relegated to a cliché, not to be found outside documentary films. This Finnish-German-Australian romp brings the dastardly fiends back, in the form of the “Space Nazis” sci-fi subgenre, touched on in several old Star Trek episodes and in the novel Rocket Ship Galileo, by Robert A Heinlein of Starship Troopers fame. Naturally, it takes a silly, irreverent tone and pretty much runs with it.

            It is the year 2018, and as part of her re-election campaign, the President of the United States (Stephanie Paul as an ersatz Sarah Palin) has sent an African-American astronaut, James Washington (Christopher Kirby), to the moon. On the lunar surface, he is ambushed by, you guessed it, Nazis. After their defeat in 1945, a band of Third Reich-ers hightailed it off the planet and have been hiding in an elaborate, Swastika-shaped base on the far side of the moon. They are led by moonfuhrer Wolfgang Kortzfleisch (Kier), whose second-in-command Klaus Adler (Otto) is set to marry Renate Richter (Dietze), the beautiful daughter of an Einstein-esque mad scientist (Tilo Prückner).

            The nefarious moon Nazis have been planning a return to Earth, and attempt to harness the computing power of Washington’s smartphone to power their space battleship. However, as they often do, the phone runs out of battery power, so Klaus and Renate take Washington back to earth to retrieve more. The two Nazis are recruited by Presidential aide Vivian Wagner (Peta Sergeant) to revamp the President’s campaign with Nazi-style propaganda. Meanwhile, Kortzfleisch has figured out that Adler plans to overthrow him, and brings a fleet to earth himself, beginning the invasion. This leads up to a climactic space battle with the space warship “USS George W Bush” leading the other countries’ spacecraft (including Australia’s “Dundee Irwin”) against the space Nazis.

If all that sounds pretty nuts, that’s because it is. Iron Sky's biggest success is attempting to pull off its premise, which is equally ridiculous and entertaining. Recalling old-fashioned "Nazisploitation" and sci-fi movies, the film revels in the sheer absurdity of the plot and tries to get the audience to have fun along with it. The acting is decent, an eclectic mix of German, Australian and American actors who apparently all relish playing up the stereotypes, subtlety be damned.

Götz Otto, standing at all of 198 cm, is the stock muscle-bound Germanic henchman in human form and is probably best known as the evil henchman Stamper in the Bond movie Tomorrow Never Dies. Incidentally, he was also in the much more serious Nazi-themed film Der Untergang (Downfall), source of the infamous “Hitler rant scene” that spawned a thousand gag subtitle parodies on YouTube. In fact, this film pays homage to it with a shot-for-shot spoof enacted by Vivian Wagner, expressing her anger at the ineffectiveness of the presidential campaign. There are several stupid but gut-busting jokes along those lines and this is by all accounts a fairly funny movie, however given how ripe for comedy the premise is, it certainly could have used more humour.

It's plain to see that this farce is a labour of love; even though the subject matter isn't serious, some serious effort was put into bringing it to the big screen. About 10% of the film's budget was donated by fans (who are thanked by name in the end credits), and the opening credits reveal a myriad of other monetary sources and individual sponsors. Admittedly, the movie looks great; the design of the Nazi moon base and the various spacecrafts is quite eye-catching and the space battles are pretty fun to watch and could perhaps rival Hollywood films in quality. The CGI work is consistently terrific, even if the practically-done elements (boy is that a cheap-looking spacesuit) may be a little lacking.

The filmmakers presented a teaser trailer at the Cannes Film Festival way back in 2006 in the hopes of getting funding for their ambitious idea and, slowly but surely, the acquired the funds to pull it off. However, having a long gestation period, the film's Sarah Palin analogue provides slightly dated and weak satire, and on the whole the film definitely comes off as more haphazard than your typical Hollywood production. It desperately wants to be a wacky, modern-day Dr Strangelove, but has far too little impact to be even in the same neighbourhood as Kubrick’s satirical masterpiece. Its jabs at Nazi Germany and modern America are many, but relatively insight-free.

However, audiences don’t want a discussion on indoctrination, propaganda and the militarisation of space, they want to have fun – and you’ll be hard-pressed to say this isn’t. It’s definitely worth checking out because it's certainly a cool ride – it’s the small carnival that comes to town that you may like better than the expensive mega-theme park. After the end credits, the camera pulls back, bringing a neighbouring planet into frame and hinting at who the villains might be for a potential sequel. Count us in as interested.

SUMMARY: Look out; because the heil is falling from the sky – while it lacks punch, this quirky, accessible sci-fi action-comedy is somewhat worthwhile amusement.

RATING: 3/5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Magic Mike

As published in Issue #31 of F*** Magazine, Singapore

Movie Review                                                                                                             20/6/12

MAGIC MIKE

2012

Starring: Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Cody Horn, Matthew McConaughey

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh

            Everyone starts somewhere. Elvis was a truck driver, Peter Parker was a nerdy high-school student and Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter. Before he was taking out Cobra vipers in G.I. Joe or teenage drug dealers in 21 Jump Street, Channing Tatum was taking off his clothes as a 19-year-old male stripper in Tampa Florida. With this premise as a jumping-off point, Magic Mike tells the tenuously autobiographical tale.

            Channing Tatum plays Michael Lane – odd job working and erstwhile furniture designer by day, the stripper of the title by night. At his roofing job, he comes across Adam (Pettyfer), a 19-year-old ne’er do well who lives with his disapproving sister Paige (Horn). Mike takes a shine to the kid, whom he nicknames, well, “The Kid”, and brings him along to Xquisite Male Revue, where he dances. There, Adam meets the gang of male strippers, led by the cocky (pun totally intended), charming Dallas (McConaughey). It’s not long before Adam finds himself onstage and he becomes an instant hit. However, life in the spotlight (and in g-strings) soon gets to Adam’s head, with Mike and Paige caught in the crossfire.

            With every female starlet stripping to their skivvies onscreen as a rite of passage, the guys finally get their due, and this is sure to be a welcome change for the gals and gay men in the audience. The knee-jerk reaction is to point and snigger and yes, director Soderbergh doesn’t underestimate the power of his target demographic (which this reviewer is not a part of) and hands out what you came for in spades. However, if he thought that putting Cody Horn and Olivia Munn into bikinis and slipping in one scene of Mircea Monroe’s silicone-enhanced bare breasts would even the playing field, he was sorely mistaken. Brace yourselves for a boatload of butts though thankfully, you don’t get to see Tatum’s pole.

            It would easy to slap the label “Showguys” on this film and call it a day, but Soderbergh is a better director than Paul Verhoeven by far and the movie treats the vocation with a fair amount of dignity – well, as much dignity as leather vests and star-spangled thongs deserve. The cry of “strippers are people too!” is present in the form of Mike’s sensitive custom furniture design aspirations and the attempt to show he has a life outside of the strip club. Also, the film doesn’t look as flashy as one would be led to think; Soderbergh doesn’t treat the cast the way Michael Bay treats helicopters and sunsets. However, if you came to see Tatum and co. wiggle their collective behinds, you’ll be counting the minutes till the movie moves back into clothes removal mode.

            Tatum is a famously wooden leading man, but he is a good dancer – after all, he is a Step Up alum. Soderbergh seems to know that the rest of the cast can’t offer a lot beyond their chiselled abs and wisely lets Tatum do the bulk of the dancing. It does stretch credibility to think Adam would become an ace dancer overnight, as it is shown he doesn’t have much dancing experience to start with. Tatum and Pettyfer have a decent bromance that doesn’t reach the heights of Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law in the Sherlock Holmes movies or the Wolf Pack in the Hangover flicks, but it works and is portrayed fairly realistically. Pettyfer has been pushed hard in recent years as a pretty-boy hunk to watch, but frankly he’s not a great actor though he is better than Tatum. He’s got a persona that falls exactly in-between clean-cut and bad boy, and that alone would make most girls go weak at the knees.

            Cody Horn has pretty much sprung out of nowhere to take the female lead, but a little research reveals she’s the daughter of former Warner Bros. Studio head Alan Horn. Before you shout “nepotism”, let it be known that she’s... just okay. She pulls off the watchful, strait-laced older sister thing decently, though she does have trouble with more emotional scenes, and her sexual tension with Tatum doesn’t fully ignite. She looks like if Kristen Bell and Kristen Stewart had a daughter, which does sound slightly appealing, but it’s hard to see her as a prominent Hollywood starlet in future.

            Just when you thought Matthew McConaughey was back on the straight and narrow with the legal thriller The Lincoln Lawyer, he’s back to his shirt-phobic ways playing, in essence, himself. If anyone can pull off the cowboy huckster thing, it’s McConaughey and his built-in Texas drawl. He even sings a self-written ditty and plays the guitar. He’s backed by a bunch of TV stars: Matt Bomer from White Collar, Joe Manganiello from True Blood and Adam Rodriguez from CSI Miami. As eye candy, they fit the one-dollar bill, but it’s a good thing they’re given supporting parts because they’re very clearly small screen actors.

            It’s tempting to write this one off based on the two words “male” and “strippers” and, guess what – you won’t be completely wrong. It’s a celebration of the intriguing double standard where women are allowed a night of squealing, voyeuristic debauchery whereas a man who does the same would be considered a pig (the real pig that does appear in the movie is adorable). Perhaps it’s revenge for how a girl who sleeps around is labelled a slut, while a guy who does the same is a stud. Even though there is an effort made to construct a semi-serious drama around the premise, we’re left with more flesh than fleshed-out characters, and a very unsatisfying ending.

SUMMARY: It’s more than just almost-naked men, but only barely – the “magic” here is mainly smoke, mirrors and buttocks.

RATING: 2.5/5 STARS

Jedd Jong