Transformers: Age of Extinction

For F*** Magazine

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION

Director : Michael Bay
Cast : Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Kelsey Grammer, Li Bingbing, Sophia Myles, Titus Welliver, T. J. Miller and the voices of: Peter Cullen, Robert Foxworth, John Goodman, John DiMaggio, Ken Watanabe, Frank Welker
Genre : Action, Sci-Fi
Opens : 26 June 2014
Running time: 165 mins

Lord Bay of House Boom has returned locked and loaded for the fourth live-action Transformers film despite saying he would quit the franchise, this time with a new human cast. It has been four years since Chicago was decimated in the battle between Autobots and Decepticons and the U. S. government has decided to end their partnership with the Autobots, declaring them enemies. CIA official Harold Attinger (Grammer) is in charge of hunting them down, engaging the services of mercenary Savoy (Welliver) and ruthless Decepticon bounty hunter Lockdown (Ryan). Joshua Joyce (Tucci), owner of tech giant KSI, has a lucrative government contract to manufacture man-made facsimiles of the Transformers by reverse-engineering captured and dismantled Autobots and Decepticons. Meanwhile, Texan inventor Cade Yeager (Wahlberg), his best friend Lucas (Miller), his daughter Tessa (Peltz) and Tessa’s boyfriend Shane (Reynor) get drawn into the conflict when they unwittingly come into the possession of a beat-up old truck that just happens to be Optimus Prime (Cullen) himself. With the extinction of humanity imminent, Optimus and the remaining Autobots must defeat Attinger and the Decepticons in pursuit.

            Tennis champ Boris Becker said “you get used to eating caviar and at some point it tastes as ordinary as everything else.” In the context of action movies, explosions are akin to caviar. More doesn’t necessarily mean better, but director Michael Bay has wilfully rejected this notion and continues to stuff his films with more and more. He promised a “less goofy” outing but as this reviewer has learnt the hard way, a Michael Bay cannot change his spots. The elements in the second and third films that led to them being critically panned are still here, just in slightly more controlled doses. There’s still juvenile humour, there’s still racism and sexism, there’s still obnoxious product placement, the action scenes are still overwhelming flurries of whirling, clanging metal, it’s just reined in a bit and therefore slightly more tolerable than before. Bumblebee still talks using voice clips. Instead of an annoying actual dog, there’s an annoying homemade robot dog. Instead of Linkin Park, there’s Imagine Dragons. The film’s stabs at self-aware winking at the audience (an elderly movie theatre proprietor bemoans how all major releases are remakes and sequels) are more awkward and on the nose than anything else.

            Apologists of this film series have often used the “this is not Citizen Kane” argument. Well, even Citizen Kane had a running time of 119 minutes. This bad boy clocks in at 165 minutes, the longest Transformers movie yet. It’s overkill. Were this around 100 minutes long, we might’ve been really entertained. Still, there are definitely parts of the movie to commend. Bay and screenwriter Ehren Kruger have decided to make the human villain a CIA official, which combined with the decreased role of the military, makes this less of a jingoism party than the earlier films in the series. Having human scientists attempting to create their own Transformers without comprehending the danger and complexity of the technology is a perfectly viable angle to come at the story from, if somewhat Terminator-esque. And best of all, our protagonist is no longer the useless, unbearably annoying Sam Witwicky.

            Mark Wahlberg is certainly an upgrade from Shia LaBeouf, even if Marky Mech doesn’t break into an off-key rendition of the Transformers theme song “The Touch” like in Boogie Nights. Cade Yeager is a bundle of clichés: All-American everyman turned hero, amateur inventor whose workshop is filled with knick-knacks plus he’s an over-protective single dad who utterly disapproves of his daughter’s boyfriend just on principle. But Wahlberg being significantly less punch-worthy than LaBeouf makes a difference. Nicola Peltz of The Last Airbender infamy fulfils the pre-requisites of being the female lead in this series: she can’t act and she rocks the Daisy Dukes. Reynor is a typical modern Hollywood imported pretty-boy; some kind of attempt made at explaining away the Irish actor’s accent - Cade ends up disparagingly referring to his would-be son-in-law as “Lucky Charms”. Once again, at least he’s significantly less annoying than Shia LaBeouf.

            While Stanley Tucci is subjected to a good deal of embarrassment as a send-up of tech icons like Steve Jobs, he is spared the depths of indignity that the likes of John Turturro and John Malkovich suffered in the previous movies. Kelsey Grammer takes his role as primary human antagonist surprisingly seriously and his frighteningly pragmatic Attinger is a bright spot in the film, so many steps up from Patrick Dempsey in Dark of the Moon. Titus Welliver is also quite imposing and the sequence in which he pursues Cade as they cling to the exterior of a Hong Kong apartment building is plenty of fun. As the head of KSI in China, Li Bingbing is the stock boss lady and without Sally Cahill to dub over her like in Resident Evil: Retribution, she valiantly battles the English language. The voice acting is good as well, not only is definitive Optimus Prime performer Peter Cullen back, but the legendary Frank Welker reprises his role as Galvatron from the various animated series. Thankfully, Ken Watanabe and John Goodman’s distinct voices are still recognizable even after being treated with that robot voice filter. Watanabe also gets to deliver the film’s funniest line, Drift’s reaction upon first seeing the Dinobots transform.

            One thing has been true about this series: no matter how bad the rest of the film gets, the visual effects work certainly can’t be faulted and we’d like to salute visual effects supervisor Scott Farrar and the armies of artists and technicians who brought the Autobots, Decepticons and those fan-favourite Dinobots to life. Amidst the bombast, we also get genuinely beautiful shots, like those of the Autobots convening in Monument Valley and a shot in which Lockdown’s ship is reflected in Chicago’s Cloud Gate sculpture. We saw this in IMAX 3D and even though it is often pretty to look at, the constantly shifting aspect ratios can be very distracting. Transformers: Age of Extinction is more bearable than Revenge of the Fallen and Dark of the Moon, albeit certainly not the paradigm shift in quality it is touted to be. But hey, this is a movie with a humanoid robot semi-truck astride a giant robot T-rex charging into battle, so it’s not like anything we say matters too much anyway.

SUMMARY: While relatively better than its predecessors thanks to more likeable leads and less superfluous subplots, many of the problems that plagued the earlier Transformers movies are still very present throughout the 165 minute duration.

Mark Wahlberg, Jack Reynor and Nicola Peltz do not love the smell of napalm any time of the day.

RATING: 2.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong 

I, Frankenstein

For F*** Magazine

I, FRANKENSTEIN 

Director: Stuart Beattie
Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Yvonne Strahovski, Bill Nighy, Socratis Otto, Miranda Otto, Caitlin Stasey, Jai Courtney, Aden Young, Deniz Akdeniz
Genre: Action, Sci-Fi
Run Time: 92 mins
Opens: 23 January 2014
Rating: PG13 (Violence)

So, let’s get this out of the way: yes, he’s “Frankenstein’s Monster”, “Frankenstein” is the name of the scientist who created him. We guess I, Frankenstein’s Monster just doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. This take on Mary Shelley’s classic horror tale is based on the Darkstorm Comics title by writer-actor Kevin Grevioux (who also appears in the film as henchman Dekar). Yes, the titular creature in the comics looks a lot more like how he’s traditionally depicted than what they went with for the movie, but rippling abs and barely noticeable scars notwithstanding, this reviewer was pleasantly surprised by the latest onscreen retelling of The Modern Prometheus.

The film starts with an image familiar to those who have read Mary Shelley’s novel: that of a lone figure trudging across the snow carrying a body on his back. The figure is Frankenstein’s Monster (Eckhart) and the body, that of his creator, Victorian scientist Victor Frankenstein (Young). Without a soul but somehow immortal, the creature finds himself caught in the middle of a celestial battle between the demons of hell and “gargoyles”, a contingent of angels who watch over humanity disguised as those stone sculptures. The Gargoyle queen Leonore (Otto) christens the creature “Adam”, and he takes the last name of his creator. It is more than 200 years later and the demon prince Naberius (Nighy) has his sights set on Adam, who is the key to the formation of a hellish army with which Naberius plans to conquer the world. In his human guise of “Charles Wessex”, Naberius has hired electrophysiologist Terra Ward (Strahovski) to conduct re-animation experiments; Terra keen to learn Adam’s secrets but unaware of the treacherous scheme they will be used to enact.



I, Frankenstein is adapted and directed by Stuart Beattie, whose diverse credits as a screenwriter include Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, Collateral, 30 Days of Night and Australia. His first film as director was Australian young adult novel adaptation Tomorrow When the War Began (stars Caitlin Stasey and Chris Pang both have minor roles in this movie). I, Frankenstein is billed as being “from the producers of Underworld” and it does share a similar aesthetic and urban fantasy setting. Michelle McGahey’s production design is mesmerizing, the majestic cathedral sanctuary of the gargoyles and the horrific, cavernous demon corpse farm lending the picture a genuine sense of scale and grandeur.

There was every chance that I, Frankenstein would end up looking cheap and sloppily-made and there was no shortage of eyes being rolled upon the unveiling of the first trailer. Guess what: I, Frankenstein looks amazing. The visual effects work, mostly done by Australian houses Iloura and Cutting Edge, are top-notch stuff. The character animation on the angels in their gargoyle form is particularly noteworthy - the personality captured in the facial expressions, the mechanics of the wings and feathers, the mottled, stony texture – it reminded this reviewer of the Hulk in The Avengers. The visual representation of the “descending” of the demons and the “ascension” of the gargoyles (analogous to death) is also quite breathtaking, comprising dances of brilliant light and swirling fire. The Australia-based Makeup Effects Group may not be creatively named, but they sure produced some quality prosthetic makeup effects, particularly on the horned, reptilian natural form of the demons. The 3D conversion is not bad, especially in the flying scenes.



Yes, plopping Frankenstein’s Monster into a centuries-old supernatural feud does seem like an absurd and Hollywood-y jumping off point, but admirably enough, the film commits to the tone. Aaron Eckhart is a serviceable leading man, playing Adam as angsty, misunderstood and brooding, but never insufferably so. He never really got very good parts following the role that should have rocketed him up the A-list, that of Harvey “Two-Face” Dent in The Dark Knight. As mentioned earlier, he never convincingly looks like he was the result of a patchwork of multiple corpses, he just looks like Aaron Eckhart with a tiny bit of effects makeup. Eckhart acquits himself well in the action sequences, having trained in kali stick fighting to wield Adam’s weapons of choice. Also, props to Eckhart for delivering the line “I think your boss is a demon prince” with a totally straight face.

Interestingly, nobody in the supporting cast is terrible. This does seem like the kind of movie which would have some weak links acting-wise. Miranda Otto is stately and ethereal as Leonore, Chuck alum Yvonne Strahovski isn’t the least convincing cinematic “hot scientist” ever, Jai Courtney is gruff and grumpy as usual as her right-hand gargoyle Gideon and Hugo Weaving-esque Socratis Otto (no relation) is sufficiently menacing as hench-demon Zuriel.

Of course, it is Bill Nighy, dab hand at stealing the show, who walks away with hell (and the movie) in a handbasket. He relishes every chance to chew the scenery and seems to enjoy it after being denied the chance to make any kind of impact in Total Recall (2012). He bites into each word with entertaining gusto and dramatically arches his eyebrows the way only he can.

At first, I, Frankenstein looks like your run of the mill dumb, derivative CGI-fest and yes, there are goofy moments, the gargoyle concept is reminiscent of the premise of that 90s Disney cartoon series and it’s far from subtle (the demons in human form are all clad in business suits). But it does a fine job at being what it is, is never boring and manages to be sufficiently engrossing. It’s nowhere near as haphazardly sewn together as its protagonist and far as “oh, this is going to be bad” January releases go, it upends expectations.

Summary: Fire bad, but frankly, movie pretty good.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong

Machete Kills

For F*** Magazine

MACHETE KILLS

Director: Robert Rodriguez
Cast:  Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Carlos Estevez/Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Demián Bichir, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding, Jr., William Sadler, Marko Zaror, Mel Gibson
Genre: Action, Thriller
Run Time: 132 mins
Opens: 17 October 2013
Rating: M18 (Violence and Coarse Language)

Dog goes woof, cat goes meow, bird goes tweet, the mouse goes squeak – and Machete? Why, Machete kills, of course. Everyone’s favourite grizzled ex-Federale - matted hair, perma-frown, moustache, tattoos, signature bladed weapon and all – has returned. Following his appearance in the fake trailer attached to Grindhouse and the 2010 feature film Machete, the character is back – as “Trailer Voiceover Guy” (Corey Burton) might put it – with a vengeance.

Machete (Trejo) and his love interest/partner from the first film, Agent Sartana Rivera (Alba) take on a gang of corrupt U.S. soldiers selling weapons to a drug cartel. The mission goes wrong and Machete is framed for a crime he’d never imagine committing. His chance at redemption? Accepting a mission to take down crazed revolutionary Marcos Mendez (Bichir), on executive command of President Rathcock (Sheen). Machete runs into a colourful rogues gallery, including master of disguise El Cameleón (Goggins, Gaga, Gooding Jr. and Banderas), trigger-happy madame Desdemona (Vergara) and her girls, and Mendez’s towering henchman Zaror (Marko Zaror). Naturally, there’s a mastermind Machete will have to contend with – megalomaniac weapons and aerospace magnate Luther Voz (Gibson). It’s a good thing our knife-wielding hero has allies like Luz (Rodriguez) to count on.



You probably know right off the bat if this movie is for you or if it isn’t. It’s exactly what it says on the tin: an egregiously violent, goofy, gleefully tasteless action exploitation flick, heavy on the CGI blood splatter and low on that pesky sense-making. Nobody can accuse multi-hyphenate director Robert Rodríguez and gang of false advertising. Early in his career, Rodríguez envisioned perennial tough guy (and second cousin of his) Danny Trejo as the Mexican equivalent of an action hero like Charles Bronson or Jean-Claude Van Damme, though apparently he had to pay his dues in Rodriguez’s Spy Kids films first before finally headlining the 2010 flick.

“Sequel escalation” is something moviegoers have come to expect: a follow-up that tries to be bigger, better and more over the top than the first. For better or for worse, Machete Kills is consistent in carrying over the style of the first movie but does try to stretch the scope. For example, while the baddies in the first film were a corrupt senator, his aide and a notorious drug kingpin, the villains here are pretty much old-school Bond bad guys: a supervillain bent on establishing his new world order, a warlord with a split personality, an uber-femme fatale armed with a Gatling gun bustier and a villain remarkably similar to Spider-Man foe Chameleon, right down to the name. It might as well be this way, the levels of incredulity turned up to eleven, since nobody was interested in making a “realistic” film in the first place. If anything’s really out of place, it’s a scene in which Madame Desdemona talks about suffering sexual abuse at the hands of her father. This is particularly squirm-inducing amidst the wanton silliness of the rest of the film.



A top-drawer cast partaking in this veritable orgy of base, pulpy genre hijinks is arguably the biggest reason to check this out. To call this ensemble “eclectic” would be an understatement. Leading the charge is Trejo, who is one of those actors whose aura of badass transcends screen roles and into real life; he probably is pretty much playing himself. The beauty of Trejo’s performance is that he plays it straight as an arrow. Considering how everyone else is given carte blanche to cartwheel all over the place, Trejo’s method is more effective than if he played Machete yelling every line and spouting endless one-liners. Most of his one-liners in the film are some variation on “Machete don’t ____”, taking off the unexpected popularity of the “Machete don’t text” line from the first one.

It might be easy to think that the Academy Award winners and nominees in Machete Kills are doing nothing short of slumming it but gosh darn if they don’t look like they’re having a grand old time. Demián Bichir’s Mendez – noble freedom fighter one minute and genocidal lunatic the next – is fun, but the show does belong to Mel Gibson. It seems he has decided that taking on villainous parts in movies like this and the upcoming The Expendables 3 are a way of paying penance for past indiscretions; Mad Mel putting those crazy eyes to excellent use as a cross between Richard Branson and Moonraker villain Hugo Drax. One of the character’s entertaining eccentricities is a fondness for Star Wars; we’re willing to bet you won’t see Mel Gibson and Danny Trejo sitting in a landspeeder in any other movie.



For everyone who thought Jamie Foxx wasn’t sufficiently believable as leader of the free world in White House Down, take a gander at Charlie Sheen (gamely choosing to be credited by his birth name, Carlos Estévez) as the Prez. There’s the added bonus that his dad Martin Sheen memorably portrayed a U.S. President in The West Wing – insert “George H.W. and George W. Bush” joke here. Where Sheen is, a bevy of beauties is never too far away – Amber Heard, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara and Alexa Vega all contributing to the shameless eye candy quotient. Slightly creepy if you realize Rodríguez directed a pre-pubescent Vega in the Spy Kids flicks, and here she is in assless chaps. We are obligated to point out that in spite of adhering to the grindhouse ethos in all other areas, this film lacks the gratuitous nudity of its predecessor. Lady Gaga’s involvement is a piece of stunt casting that doesn’t misfire; she probably is even more outrageous in everyday life than her character in this is anyway.

Machete Kills is so lowbrow that the brows might be mistaken for a moustache. There are those who will view this as worthless trash and others who will go along with the elaborate joke, choose to humour Rodríguez and company and try to have a good time. We can’t say either reaction is totally unwarranted. Oh, and the fake trailer for Machete Kills Again – In Space, with Michelle Rodriguez yelling “eat photons, bitches!” is genuinely funny.

SUMMARY: A second helping of a cheesy, greasy glop of a quesadilla – hold the salad. With Machete Kills, everything depends on if you’re willing to risk indigestion for a guilty pleasure.

RATING: 3 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Special ID

For F*** Magazine

SPECIAL ID 

Director: Clarence Fok
Cast: Donnie Yen, Collin Chou, Andy On, Tian Jing, Zhang Hanyu, Ronald Cheng
Genre: Action, Crime
Run Time: 99 mins
Opens: 18 October 2013
Rating: NC16 (Violence and Coarse Language)

In recent years, martial artist and action star Donnie Yen has become best-known for playing Ip Man, the nigh legendary Wing Chun master and mentor to Bruce Lee. However, Yen has expressed a desire to star in action flicks with a more contemporary setting such as SPL and this latest rather regrettable flick.



Yen plays Chen Zilong, an undercover Hong Kong police officer who has spent the last eight years of his career embedded deep within the murky criminal underworld. Xiong (Chou), the head of the gang, has made it clear that any traitors in the midst will pay dearly. Concerned for the safety of his beloved mother Amy (Paw Hee-ching), Zilong wants out. However, the resurgence of former disciple Sunny (On), now a feared gangster after spending the last three years in the States, throws a spanner in that plan. Zilong must reluctantly travel to Nanhai and partner up with Chinese policewoman Fang Jing (Tian) to confront Sunny and put a stop to a vicious gang war.

There really isn’t anything special about the premise. At all. Alright, there’s that joke out of the way. The film was plagued by myriad production troubles, including the storming off the project of Zhao Wenzhuo, who was replaced by Andy On. It’s hard to tell if all the problems with the movie were a result of this or were inherent since Special ID’s inception as Ultimate Codebreak (we can’t decide which title is sillier).



The film is something of a mess, its threadbare plot serving only to string together a series of action set pieces. Many recent Hong Kong films have suffered from tonal discrepancies. While it isn’t as bad here as in something like Blind Detective, the film’s lack of a commitment to the gritty tone the poster and some of the fights imply is crippling. There are comedic interludes and laughable would-be moments of pathos, the latter accompanied by a sappy piano score. It’s as if the movie has no idea what to do when someone isn’t punching someone else, flailing as the next stunt is being set up.

Donnie Yen fans, forgive us: the guy is a martial artist first and an actor second. Sure, he’s an all-around badass and we certainly wouldn’t want to get on the guy’s bad side. Plus, his proficiency with mixing elements from the likes of Wing Chun and Brazillian Jiu-jitsu make for some pretty exciting brawls. And there’s the added bonus of not having to edit around a stunt double. However, whenever he has to emote, especially during dialogue scenes with leading lady Tian Jing, the result is more awkward than Michael Cera giving a speech during school assembly in his underwear. The through-the-roof cringe-worthy levels in those parts of the film are jarring given the ferocity of the hand-to-hand melees.



Andy On plays antagonist Sunny with posturing bravado and sports a perpetually half-unbuttoned shirt. For no apparent reason, the Rhode Island native breaks into bursts of English dialogue to show off his American accent. He’s relatively charismatic and handsome, but the relationship between Sunny and Zilong, the man who’s taught him all he knows, is undeveloped and unmined.

Tian Jing, with her doe eyes and heart-shaped face, attempts to strike a balance between a capable cop who can hold her own in a fight with scary gangland types or hang off the door of a speeding SUV with no problem, and a vulnerable woman who seems psychologically ill-prepared for the job. Her only defining character trait seems to be that she’s a Hello Kitty fan (cue Sanrio product placement). Most of the time, the dynamic between Fang Jing and Zilong is pretty much that of two third graders. “Teacher, he’s being a bully!” “She started it!” It gets annoying.



The only way Special ID might be able to pass muster is if one took all the action sequences out of context and just put them together as a stunt choreography highlight reel. Clarence Fok, director of trashy cult classic Naked Killer, isn’t known for his subtlety and true to form, Special ID is filled with characters yelling every other line. And when it tries to be sensitive, it falls flat on its face, in stark contrast with the control and agility put on display in its martial arts fights.

SUMMARY: If Special ID were to be personified as a real undercover cop, it would have broken cover at the first possible moment. A disappointment despite some cool fisticuffs.

RATING: 2 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Pacific Rim

For F*** Magazine

PACIFIC RIM

2013

Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Ron Perlman, Burn Gorman

Directed by: Guillermo del Toro

            B-movie aficionados might recall a film called Robot Jox, an immensely cheesy sci-fi flick from 1990 in which territorial disputes in a post-apocalyptic wasteland are settled by way of giant robot gladiator fights. That film was overlooked upon release and hasn’t aged well. It’s a good thing then that today’s fanboys have something like Pacific Rim to devour. It’s giant robots vs. giant monsters, boasting high-quality production values and with geek icon Guillermo del Toro at the helm. Yeah, we’re up for that.

            Beasts from another realm, or kaiju, have arrived on earth through a portal far beneath the Pacific Ocean, ready to wreak havoc, each wave of attacks more vicious than the last. The nations of earth pool their resources to build “Jaegers”, giant mecha equipped to go toe-to-toe with the kaiju, controlled by two pilots who must be psychically linked to each other. Raleigh Becket (Hunnam) is a former Jaeger pilot called back into duty five years after being scarred, mentally and physically, in combat. He is eventually paired with Mako Mori (Kikuchi), an untested rookie who lost her family to a kaiju attack as a child. They, along with the other Jaeger pilots, answer to Marshal Stacker Pentecost (Elba), a no-nonsense military man who was one of the first Jaeger pilots. With the Jaeger program in danger of being decommissioned due to diminished results, the remaining pilots must make their last stand against the destructive creatures.

            There’s this pre-conceived notion of creature features being silly, quaint and low-rent affairs. After all, most of us would remember watching guys in rubber suits duke it out against the backdrop of an unconvincing model city in Tokusatsu films or TV shows (or 50s Hollywood B-movies). It is therefore extremely gratifying to see clashes between beast and machine so lovingly brought to life in an expensive A-picture. As children, we could only dream of robot/monster melees rendered with such conviction and quality. This is nostalgia made state-of-the-art; boyhood imagination made celluloid reality. It’s the kind of film that should be seen in the IMAX format and actually is really enjoyable in 3D, despite director Guillermo del Toro’s initial reluctance to convert the film into this format.

    
        Guillermo del Toro is something of a fanboy, and his passion and respect for anime, manga and Tokusatsu fuels the film and sets it apart from something like a Michael Bay-directed Transformers film. Del Toro is far more imaginative than your average action movie director and together with the creative team for this film has come up with some very arresting visuals and ideas. Sure, it might be hard to tell one kaiju from another and all the battles are rain-soaked and dimly lit, but del Toro has somehow managed to find a sweet point between “outlandish” and “awesome”, crafting many moments which make one want to leap out of the seat on an adrenaline rush.

            If you’re not in a particularly charitable mood, the plot could be described as “formulaic”: there’s the hero who must overcome a past trauma and rise to the occasion alongside a wide-eyed but equally-tormented rookie, unstoppable behemoths not of this earth, a “combat as foreplay” scene, the battle-hardened boss man who oversees the whole operation, comic relief scientists and tech guys, a cocky rival and a ticking clock. However, there are definitely times when canned food can taste absolutely delicious, and Guillermo del Toro has cooked up a storm. Clichés and stereotypes are in full effect (the Russian Jaeger pilots look like they stepped out of an 80s Cold War thriller) but somehow, this makes it all the more entertaining. Del Toro stated that he didn’t want to make a “super-brooding, super-dark, cynical summer movie” but deliver something more palatable in a throwback sort of way instead – and that he has.

            Given the above, the characters in Pacific Rim could well have felt pre-fabricated and cookie cutter, but they don’t and it is remarkably easy to root for them. Charlie Hunnam isn’t exactly a bankable marquee name and is best-known as the lead actor on TV’s Sons of Anarchy. He makes for a very sympathetic leading man and appears equally comfortable with the more dramatic moments and the action beats. Similarly, Rinko Kikuchi isn’t your typical Hollywood faux-action chick, her Mako Mori a vulnerable but competent character, and that helps set this apart from the rest of the “movies made for 12 year-old boys” pack.

            Idris Elba could well be the next Samuel L. Jackson as he steadily builds his repertoire of badass parts. The guy has presence to spare and there’s something inexplicably grin-inducing about hearing him bellow such lines as “do not let my calm demeanour fool you, ranger!” and, of course, that “we are cancelling the apocalypse” speech. It could well be irredeemably silly in the hands of another actor but man, he pulls it off. Charlie Day and Burn Gorman make for a funny, over-the-top double act as two rival scientists working on the Jaeger program (though they might border on grating for some) and del Toro oft-collaborator Ron Perlman threatens to steal the show as only he can, playing a black market dealer profiteering off kaiju remains, selling them as health products.

            Pacific Rim may be comprised of familiar elements and, depending on your mood, an eye roll-worthy bit or two, but the sheer exuberant, childlike energy that propels it forward makes everything else very easy to forgive. Guillermo del Toro’s enthusiasm for the material is infectious and with top-notch art direction, production design and visual effects work on show, this is escapism of a very polished sort. This is a love letter to the kaiju and mecha genres written in calligraphy on fancy paper. Japanese video game creator Hideo Kojima said it best when he remarked that he “never imagined (he) would be fortunate enough to see a film like this in (his) lifetime”.

SUMMARY: A better-made and more entertaining clash of the titans than the one with Sam Worthington in it. A giant robot using a container ship as a sword is what the fantasies of your inner 12 year-old are made of.

RATING: 4 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong 

The Lone Ranger

For F*** Magazine

THE LONE RANGER

Director: Gore Verbinski
Cast:  Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, Tom Wilkinson, William Fichtner, James Badge Dale, Ruth Wilson, Helena Bonham Carter
Genre: Action, Adventure
Run Time: 149 mins
Opens: 4 July 2013
Rating: PG13 (Some Violence)

Long before Chuck Norris swaggered across the small screen as Texas Ranger Sgt. Cordell Walker, another had paved the dusty path and worn that silver badge. The Lone Ranger first appeared in radio dramas 80 years ago and has endured as a pop culture icon, astride his noble steed Silver and with his trusty friend and partner Tonto ever by his side. For the first time since 1981, the Lone Ranger rides onto the silver (heh) screen again.

This film is an origin story, portraying the circumstances under which the Lone Ranger and Tonto first met and ‘pardnered’ up. John Reid (Hammer), the new District Attorney of Colby, Texas, happens to be on a train which is also transporting two criminals: notorious outlaw Butch Cavendish (Fichtner) and Native American spirit warrior Tonto (Depp). Cavendish’s crew of bandits break him out as John and Tonto have to save themselves from the train crash. John’s brother Dan (James Badge Dale) deputises him as a Texas Ranger and as advised by Tonto, John dons a domino mask to become The Lone Ranger. The newly-formed pair go about tracking down Cavendish and his fellow crooks as they find themselves in the middle of an explosive dispute over the construction of a trans-continental railway.



The film has been plagued by well-publicised production troubles, including budget problems, rain and snowstorms, wildfires and the tragic drowning of a stuntman. When your western hits a reported budget of around $250 million, maybe something isn’t going right. Some have even predicted this as the “John Carter of 2013”, in reference to Disney’s notorious box office flop from last year.

The thing is, John Carter didn’t have a marquee name like Johnny Depp starring in it. Indeed, director Gore Verbinski and co. seem to be fully aware that Depp is the movie’s best asset. This is a Lone Ranger movie in which the actor playing Tonto gets top billing – it’s like if everyone was making a bigger deal of Robin than Batman. The Pirates of the Caribbean film franchise cemented Depp’s position as a big box office draw and his Jack Sparrow quickly became this generation’s Han Solo. It appears that everyone involved in this film was fully aware of that appeal and tried to milk it for all it’s worth.



Depp has previously portrayed a Native American character in The Brave, which he also directed. Depp’s casting as Tonto has attracted controversy and yes, while stereotypes like “spirit animals” and shamanistic rituals are invoked, the film’s portrayal of the Comanche people is not derogatory. Depp clearly had a ball inhabiting the iconic role, imbuing the character with the eccentricity we’ve come to expect of the actor. For example, Tonto wears a dead bird as a headdress (apparently inspired by Kirby Sattler’s painting I Am Crow). Even if the film’s focus is clearly weighted towards the character who’s ostensibly a sidekick, Depp’s dedication to the part is still enjoyable to watch. It’s hard to imagine the guy’s already 50 years of age.

This means the film doesn’t actually have a lot of faith in its title character, portrayed by Armie Hammer. It’s a less embarrassing role than that of Prince Andrew in last year’s Mirror Mirror, but John Reid has his share of indignities to endure. These include but are not limited to being dragged through horse manure and then having said horse lick scorpions off his face later on. The filmmakers are clearly worried that the Lone Ranger might come off as a boring, generic hero, but Hammer makes him likeable enough and strikes up a decent odd couple chemistry with Depp. Perhaps Reid’s incompetence in this one can be attributed to his rookie status (though it’s more likely a result of Depp exercising his clout as executive producer).



William Fichtner is a gnarly, mangy, frightening presence as the outlaw Butch Cavendish, a ruthless fiend with a disturbing taste for human flesh – there’s just not very much to the character. Similarly, Helena Bonham Carter seems a perfect fit for the role of a gutsy brothel madam with a weaponised prosthetic leg – it’s just that the character is very underused. Tom Wilkinson is not bad as the railroad tycoon who won’t let anything get in the way of his business and Ruth Wilson is believable as frontierswoman Rebecca Reid. The standout supporting player is probably Silver the horse though, who is equal parts gallant and endearing.



Ever since the first Pirates flick became a runaway success, Disney has tried to recapture that with the action-adventure flicks Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and the afore-mentioned John Carter, both times not with much success. The Lone Ranger possesses enough of that matinee serial spirit of excitement and adventure to be considered entertaining, featuring several fun action set pieces; the one on a train that kicks off the action reminiscent of the opening of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. There are some pretty cool stunts, but there’s also just as much conspicuous computer-generated imagery, including ropey digital caribou and rabbits.



However, at 149 minutes, the film certainly feels bloated at times. While there are several moments of levity, most provided by Depp, the film has a surprisingly high body count and for something that’s meant as a nostalgic throwback to old-timey oaters, it’s unnecessarily over-violent. This has been marketed as a family flick from Disney, so it’s a little jarring to see the villain carve out someone’s heart and bite into it. While the film is probably as historically dubious as the Pirates movies, it doesn’t quite have that authenticity or verisimilitude that those films did.

The Lone Ranger himself might be a gifted marksman, but his latest big screen outing is very much hit and miss. Johnny Depp fans will certainly lap up their idol’s portrayal of Tonto and it is the most worthwhile thing in the film. There’s relatively satisfying action and a good number of homages to the classic hallmarks associated with the character (including Rossini’s William Tell Overture as his theme tune) but it probably isn’t “fun for the whole family” as advertised.



SUMMARY: The Lone Ranger attempts to keep the character’s legacy alive and doesn’t do a particularly bad job at it, but this is clearly Johnny Depp’s show and that’s not necessarily an entirely good thing. It’s also weighed down by gratuitous violence and an overlong running time.

RATING: 3 out of 5 STARS 

Jedd Jong

World War Z

Written for F*** Magazine, Singapore

WORLD WAR Z

Director: Marc Forster
Cast: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz, James Badge Dale, Fana Mokoena
Genre: Action, Horror
Run Time: 116 mins
Opens: 20 June 2013
Rating: PG13 (Violence and Some Intense Sequences)

Hollywood, and by extension the film-going public, has long been fascinated with ways the world could come to an end. A giant meteor, a nuclear winter, a simian uprising – all fair game. In World War Z, it’s a sudden outbreak of a virus that turns perfectly healthy human beings into the rabid walking – no, sprinting dead that does the world in.

Brad Pitt stars as Gerry Lane, a former U.N. investigator who has become a stay-at-home dad to his two daughters (Sterling Jerins and Abigail Hargrove). After an ordinary Philadelphia morning unspools into utter chaos, Lane has to get his wife Karen (Enos) and his daughters to safety, and is called upon by his old boss, U.N. Deputy Secretary-General Thierry Umutoni (Mokoena). Lane embarks on a globe-trotting mission to track down the origin of the zombie virus outbreak, a mission that takes him to an Air Force base in South Korea, Jerusalem and Cardiff as he must survive the ruthless onslaught of the undead hordes to eventually be reunited with his kin.



The film has been rather infamously plagued by production troubles, going over-budget and over-schedule and requiring an emergency rewrite of its ending during filming. Author Max Brooks, whose book World War Z is the movie’s basis, has said that this is just the novel in name only. Adapting the book was apparently a challenge, seeing as it is presented as a faux-official documentation of the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse, consisting of reports filed by a nameless investigator.

This has been re-jigged by screenwriters Matthew Michael Carnahan, Drew Goddard and Damon Lindelof (as well as J. Michael Straczynski, whose draft was unused) to focus on a central protagonist, Brad Pitt’s Gerry Lane. Pitt is, as usual, a confident and competent leading man who guides the audience through the mayhem, unwaveringly calm, not quite superhuman, but still possessing incredible luck. The film can be viewed as a road trip picture of sorts, with each new destination introducing new allies and new zombie-related obstacles for Gerry to overcome. For example, in Jerusalem, Gerry meets Segen (Kerstesz), a plucky female Israeli soldier who accompanies him for the next leg of his mission.



Director Marc Forster, known for helming the Bond outing Quantum of Solace, goes for a dusty, lived-in realism, such that this is closer to Contagion than, say, Resident Evil on the sliding scale of viral outbreak movies. It almost feels like a war film, with Gerry akin to the journalist who tags along for the ride into the battlefield. The first half also has shades of War of the Worlds (Spielberg’s 2005 version) with the hero having to protect his loved ones caught in the crossfire.

To Forster’s credit, he’s managed to make the threat feel relatively credible and intense. An early scene in which panicked New Jersey citizens loot a supermarket is well-staged, and scenes of mass hysteria do get across the sense of a major global crisis. The zombies are attracted to noise, so there’s the occasional moment where someone steps on broken glass or drops something, and then everyone freezes for a moment. In such moments, Forster is able to generate sufficient tension. However, he is over-reliant on jump scares – this being a PG-13 horror action film though, that’s pretty much the only way to go in lieu of copious amounts of blood and guts.



Are the zombies scary? They aren’t portrayed with missing limbs or half their entrails hanging out and are closer to feral, diseased human beings than the undead. One scene has a zombie chattering its teeth, which could come off as unintentionally comedic. Still, they seem like a legitimate threat on the whole, even if they come off as a little artificial during the big, computer-enhanced set pieces. The 3D post-conversion is mostly unnecessary and you probably won’t miss much seeing it flat.

Fans of the book may ultimately feel that it has been watered down for the masses, but for what it is and given its troubled production, World War Z is not bad at all. It’s not a particularly fresh take on the “all hell breaks loose” apocalyptic thriller, but on the whole, it doesn’t feel slipshod or hastily patched-together. The ending leaves the door open for a sequel but doesn’t leave the audience completely hanging. It’s a relatively thrilling action-horror film, with Brad Pitt doing a decent amount of globe-trotting and zombie-slaying.

SUMMARY: Director Marc Forster and star/producer Brad Pitt have prevented World War Z  from becoming an utter disaster, managing to scare and thrill with this summer flick.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Fast & Furious 6

Written for F*** Magazine, Singapore

FAST & FURIOUS 6

Director: Justin Lin
Cast: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Luke Evans
Genre: Action, Thriller
Run Time: 130 mins
Opens: 23 May 2013
Rating: PG13 (Violence And Some Coarse Language)

Back in 2001, was there anybody who thought that a movie that was essentially “Point Break with underground street racing” would spawn a franchise consisting of six films and counting? Probably not. The series veered dangerously close to direct-to-DVD territory with Tokyo Drift, but its director Justin Lin set things back on the highway with the fourth and fifth films, proving the Fast and Furious name had legs – or wheels, rather – yet. And if this sixth flick is any indication, there’s no putting on the brakes.

Following their Rio heist from the previous movie, the members of Dominic Toretto’s (Diesel) crew have settled into retirement. Brian O’Conner (Walker) and Dom’s sister Mia (Jordana Brewster) now have an infant son. Re-enter Diplomatic Security Service Agent Luke Hobbs (Johnson), who pursued the team through Fast Five, calling upon Toretto and his gang to assist in the takedown of a new threat. His name? Owen Shaw (Evans), leader of a dangerous crew who has struck and made away with advanced weapons technology. Dom’s former flame Letty (Rodriguez), who appeared to die in the fourth movie, has resurfaced as a member of Shaw’s criminal posse, and Dom is determined to win her back to the side of good. This synopsis probably should mention that there are a bunch of car chases in there too.

The Fast and Furious series has been given a remodel, evolving from being primarily about car culture to a more accessible globe-hopping action/heist type of film. It’s done the series a world of good, and Justin Lin and company have offered up a rather satisfying summer actioner in this latest installment. Sequels always have to up the ante, and sometimes it’s noticeable when said ante fails to be upped. Fast & Furious 6 does feature bigger set pieces and even more action than its predecessor, so while it isn’t particularly fresh or innovative, it gives the people what they want.

Audiences will benefit from having seen the earlier films, since there are more than a few continuity nods so one might end up feeling a mite lost. The kinship between the various members of Dom’s crew has become an important theme and something of a glue to hold all the car crashes and gunfire together. Hobbs is no longer hot on Dom’s tail and seems to have overcome his grudge on our heroes. Instead, the dramatic tension is provided by Letty’s reappearance. She’s conveniently stricken by that trope of “laser-guided amnesia”, so she works for the villain with no clue who Dom, Brian or anyone else from her ‘former life’ is. There’s a street race scene included as a nod to the franchise’s roots which also functions as a bonding moment for Dom and Letty; a nice way to tie it all together somewhat. The characters are sketched out just enough so we can root for them not to become smears on the asphalt.

But who are we kidding, audiences don’t go to a Fast and Furious flick for “dramatic tension”. They go for the thrills and the spills and thankfully, those are in abundance here. There’s a good mix of heavy duty vehicular warfare-type ‘car’-nage and hand-to-hand martial arts scraps, sometimes happening simultaneously. MMA fighter Gina Carano and Joe Taslim of The Raid: Redemption fame both get to strut their stuff in well-choreographed combat sequences. This also one of those few times you’ll get to see two women (Carano and Rodriguez) violently go at it in the Waterloo tube station completely sober.

The car chases that rip through the streets of London, a tank chase on an elevated Spanish highway and the climactic cargo plane escape on a military airstrip are all exciting and entertaining. There’s a tactility to these scenes such that the scrapes, crunches and impacts don’t feel too artificial. This isn’t one of those films that’s two hours of pixels clanging against pixels. Sure, the computer-generated effects are noticeable, but it’s nowhere as egregious as in 2 Fast 2 Furious. This is, however, one of those films where the laws of physics are but theories. Human bodies take improbable amounts of punishment, soaring or falling through the air to have falls broken by the metal roofs of cars and airstrip runways stretch into infinity – but one should be willing to suspend disbelief enough to get swept along for the ride.

Luke Evans’ Owen Shaw is your typical hard-edged ex-military type villain, whose leadership approach of viewing his team members (essentially dark mirror images of our heroes) as game pieces merely fulfilling their functions stands in contrast to how Dom sees his crew as family. There really isn’t much depth to the character and Evans is a rather bland actor, but it is nice to see our heroes go up against a villain who actually gets behind the wheel of a car which flips other cars off its front, since the baddies of the series so far have mostly been corrupt businessmen or drug kingpins. A stinger during the end credits offers a tantalizing look at who the villain for the inevitable Fast 7 will be.

The film’s attempts at humour are a mixed bag. While Tej (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges) listing Hobbs as “Samoan Thor” on his phone is pretty funny, a bit involving a snooty, oh-so-British fancy car salesman is on the indulgent side. Still, it’s nice to see the well-oiled machine comprised of Dom, Brian, Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej, Gisele (Gal Gadot) and Hobbs at it again.

SUMMARY: The family that outraces tanks and military cargo planes together stays together – while never truly inventive or astounding, it’s good smash-bang escapist fun. If you liked Fast Five, odds are Fast & Furious 6 will rev your engine too.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Iron Man 3

Movie Review                                                                                                                  25/4/13

IRON MAN 3

2013

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Guy Pearce, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Kingsley, Don Cheadle

Directed by: Shane Black

   

        In the interest of full disclosure, let it be known that this reviewer is more of a DC Comics fan than a Marvel one. That said, he hasn’t missed a single one of the films in Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, established with 2008’s Iron Man. The time has sped by on rocket boots, and with the Phase I films all in the bag, Phase II begins where it all started, with Iron Man.

            Robert Downey Jr. (who else?) is back as Tony Stark, tinkering with new gadgets even as the events of The Avengers give him sleepless nights. His girl Friday Pepper Potts (Paltrow) has moved in with him, but Stark just won’t give her the time of day even as the holidays approach. Enter the enigmatic terrorist mastermind The Mandarin (Kingsley), perpetrator of a series of vicious bomb attacks, one of which critically wounds Tony’s ex-bodyguard Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau). Tony swears revenge, and his home is assaulted by the Mandarin’s forces in return. Stranded in rural Tennessee, he enlists the help of a local kid (Ty Simpkins) to help patch his armour in anticipation of The Mandarin’s next strike. Tony also discovers links to Dr Aldrich Killian and Dr Maya Hansen, developers of the Extremis virus – a revolutionary piece of biotechnology that has turned dangerously unstable.

            Iron Man 3 is nothing short of a game-changer for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In the film, Happy Hogan doesn’t work directly for Tony Stark anymore – a bit of leaning-against-the-fourth-wall winking, seeing as how Jon Favreau has passed on the director’s baton to Shane Black, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Drew Pearce. Once one of the most sought-after screenwriters in Hollywood, Black proves he’s still got the mojo he displayed with his screenplays for Lethal Weapon and The Last Boy Scout in spades. Iron Man 3 has got his stamp all over it (notice the Christmas-time setting) and yet also delivers everything we’ve come to expect of a big-budget superhero blockbuster at the same time.

            The film is tightly-plotted and expertly paced; audiences certainly won’t be twiddling their thumbs waiting impatiently for the next action scene to roll around. Said action scenes are plenty inventive though – a daring mid-air rescue which Stark compares to playing “Barrel of Monkeys” and a dazzlingly-choreographed finale involving Stark hopping in and out of an array of Iron Man suits mid-combat being the prime examples. Black shows that he understands how important such displays are to the type of film he’s making, but never lets the story get drowned out by the din of high-octane bells and whistles.

            A section of viewers have taken Iron Man 2 to task for spending too much of its running time in setting up the big event, The Avengers. Iron Man 3 suffers no such problem. The focus is squarely back on Tony Stark, and by now it is impossible to imagine the character being played by anyone other than Robert Downey Jr. At this point in a franchise, the leading man is wont to display signs of weariness or that he’s only doing it for the paycheck – nope, not here. Downey Jr., armed with a new batch of one-liners and an even bigger new batch of armoured outfits, is having as much fun with the role as ever.

He doesn’t feel like he’s hogging the spotlight though, because both Don Cheadle and Gwyneth Paltrow get more to do here in their supporting parts. Col. James Rhodes’ “War Machine” has been given an image makeover and renamed “Iron Patriot”; the film doing a good job of showing how Rhodey is at his best fighting alongside Iron Man instead of merely playing errand boy for the US military. Pepper Potts finally gets to step out of her “beleaguered assistant” corner and throw some punches of her own, playing a pivotal part in the film’s climactic shipping dock battle. The subplot with Ty Simpkins’ character serving as Stark’s kid sidekick of sorts could have come off as twee, but it doesn’t eat into the meat of the proceedings and Stark’s interactions with the boy are amusing and heartfelt.

Also new to the series are Ben Kingsley, Guy Pearce and Rebecca Hall. The Mandarin, the Fu-Manchu like archenemy of Iron Man in the comics, is reimagined as an unkempt, somewhat theatrical figure of the shadows – though there is of course more to him than that. Stalwart comic book fans might not like the way the character is ultimately handled, but it is clever enough and didn’t really bother this reviewer. Guy Pearce’s Aldrich Killian is a scientist who was ignored by Stark earlier in his career and doesn’t take too kindly to this, re-entering the fray with slicked-back hair and a spray tan. Pearce plays the “mousy to charismatic” angle well, when it could well have been overly cartoonish à la Jim Carrey’s Riddler in Batman Forever. The beautiful Rebecca Hall doesn’t get a lot of screen time, but is one of those actresses who plays “hot scientist” without a hitch.

It would seem that doing anything new within the confines of the wham-bam comic book blockbuster genre would be difficult, since every new entry seems to be measured against The Avengers or The Dark Knight trilogy. It is to the credit of Shane Black and the team behind Iron Man 3 then that the film is effortlessly invigorating, assured in its tone with a good sprinkling of humour mixed in with awe-inspiring, effects-heavy action sequences and well-written character moments. There probably isn’t a better way to kick off Phase II of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe than with this flick.

SUMMARY: Iron Man emerges tri-umphant under the direction of Shane Black with a three-quel that is anything but same-old same-old.

RATING: 4.5 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong