The Legend of Tarzan

For F*** Magazine

THE LEGEND OF TARZAN

Director : David Yates
Cast : Alexander Skarsgård, Margot Robbie, Samuel L. Jackson, Christoph Waltz, Djimon Hounsou, Simon Russell Beale, Jim Broadbent
Genre : Action/Adventure
Run Time : 1 hr 49 mins
Opens : 30 June 2016
Rating : PG13 (Violence)

 

          Superheroes may reign at the multiplex, but the Lord of the Apes is hoping to reclaim the crown. We find John Clayton III a.k.a. Tarzan (Skarsgård) living a life of aristocracy in London, alongside his American wife Jane Porter (Robbie). It has been years since Tarzan has left the jungle and now, King Leopold II of Belgium has invited him to return to the Congo Free State. Tarzan is initially reluctant to travel back to Africa, but is convinced by George Washington Williams (Jackson), an American diplomat who plans to investigate Leopold’s alleged use of slaves to build a railway through the Congo. Tarzan is unaware that he is being lured back to the jungle by the ruthless and avaricious Belgian Captain Léon Rom (Waltz), who has offered to deliver Tarzan to the vengeful Chief Mbonga (Hounsou) in exchange for diamonds. As Tarzan reunites with the various wild animals he grew up amongst, the people of the Congo must fight for their liberty.

            Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Tarzan is an enduring figure in popular culture, but is now most often viewed as kitschy and campy. Clad in a loin cloth, yelling as he swings through the trees – he’s not exactly the action hero modern-day moviegoers have become accustomed to. Director David Yates, best known for helming the final four instalments in the Harry Potter film series, endeavours for viewers to take Tarzan seriously again. This take on the story is commendable in that it wants to be about something, directly addressing the colonialist politics and the unethical means by which various European nations went about their conquest of Africa. It’s pretty heady stuff and the film’s approach errs on the simplistic side, but there’s enough action to ensure the film doesn’t get bogged down in its sombre themes.

            Yates, working from a screenplay by Craig Brewer and Adam Cozad, approaches this as a work of historical fiction. The primary antagonist, Léon Rom, is an actual historical figure, who was known for keeping severed heads in his flowerbed. In addition, George Washington Williams as depicted in the film is a fictionalisation of a real-life Civil War veteran, preacher, politician, lawyer, journalist and historian. The 1890 setting is established with enough detail, but one does occasionally get the sense that this is an adventure flick putting on stuffy period drama airs.

            Skarsgård beat out the likes of Henry Cavill, Tom Hardy, Charlie Hunnam and swimmer Michael Phelps, who was toying with using this film to launch an acting career, for the title role. We first see Tarzan as John Clayton III, trying to fit in among the upper crust, and Skarsgård ably conveys that this is a man who is not in his element. While Tarzan is traditionally viewed as a feral man, this version portrays him as a person of both instinct and intellect, having mastered multiple languages and well-versed in various cultures. He wants to be seen as more than a mere oddity. Naturally, we get to see him doff his shirt, and any doubts that he wouldn’t be able to pull off the necessary muscled physique are quickly assuaged. For all his efforts, Skarsgård is still encumbered by a certain stiffness, and this reviewer would like to have seen a more passionate, unbridled Tarzan.

            Yates wanted Jessica Chastain to portray Jane and the studio had their eyes on Emma Stone, but it’s Robbie who portrays Tarzan’s lady love. Robbie possesses an irrepressible radiance and imbues Jane with a charming vigour. The film is able to strike a balance between putting Jane in peril, as she is expected to be so Tarzan can rescue her, while also making her a capable character in her own right. She holds her own opposite Waltz, but the scene in which Jane grits her teeth to sit down for dinner with Rom is a pale imitation of the similar scene between Belloq and Marion Ravenwood in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

            There’s no denying Waltz is a talented actor, but by now, audiences have begun to tire of seeing him typecast as the villain, and he does nothing different as Rom. The character is the embodiment of imperialist greed, striding through the jungle with fearsome troops behind him, taking what he wants at will. There’s no nuance here, and Waltz often seems extremely close to twirling his moustache. Hounsou strikes an imposing presence as the tribal leader who has a long-standing vendetta with Tarzan, but gets too little screen time for their conflict to take hold. Jackson is entertaining as Williams and the character gets a moment to reflect on his own history and explain his motivations. However, his performance can’t help but come off as anachronistic, and Williams is very much a wise-cracking buddy cop sidekick, which can pull one out of it at times.

            There is a great deal of visual effects work and a multitude of computer-generated animals required to populate the Congo. Unfortunately, some of these beasts look sillier than others, and several sequences, particularly a railroad ambush and an ostrich stampede, lack polish. Tarzan calls on his animal friends for assistance during the climax, and for a film purported to be a more serious telling of the Tarzan tale, it is a little goofy.

            The world was never aching for another Tarzan movie, but this one justifies its existence by incorporating historical elements and setting out to make a statement about man’s relationship with nature. This is complemented by a blend of National Geographic-style panoramic vistas and moderately exciting action beats. While it lacks the heart of the animated version the target teen audience might be most familiar with, it’s a fine addition to the Tarzan movie canon, and definitely ranks far above the risible 2014 animated take.

Summary: Historical elements are cleverly weaved into the familiar Tarzan tale and this is not as much of a re-tread as one might expect, but there’s still a certain vitality missing from this version.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong

The Rezort

For F*** Magazine

THE REZORT

Director : Steve Barker
Cast : Jessica De Gouw, Dougray Scott, Martin McCann, Jassa Ahluwalia, Lawrence Walker, Elen Rhys, Claire Goose
Genre : Horror
Run Time : 1hr 31mins
Opens : 30 June 2016
Rating : M18 (Violence and Some Coarse Language)

The most dangerous game has just gotten dangerous-er. In the aftermath of the Chromosyndrome-4 virus outbreak, the world is reeling from a war between the living and the infected undead. Entrepreneur Valerie Wilton (Goose) has established a game reserve called ‘The Rezort’, an island getaway where paying guests can hunt and kill zombies for sport. Melanie (De Gouw), a young woman whose father died in the zombie war, goes to the Rezort with her war veteran boyfriend Lewis (McCann) in search of catharsis. Joining them in the tour group are enigmatic sharpshooter Archer (Scott), gamer teenagers Alfie (Walker) and Jack (Ahluwalia) and Sadie (Rhys), who was supposed to go on the trip with her fiancé before he left her. All hell breaks loose as a glitch in the security system allows the zombies to overrun the island.

            Director Steve Barker is no stranger to the zombie movie subgenre, having made Outpost and its sequel Outpost: Black Sun, featuring Nazi zombies. The influences on The Rezort are readily apparent: in addition to the obvious parallels with The Most Dangerous Game, this is best described as “Jurassic Park with zombies instead of dinosaurs”. John Hammond’s catchphrase in Jurassic Park was “we spared no expense” – given the limited resources director Barker had at hand vis-à-vis the relatively ambitious scope of The Rezort, the production values are surprisingly decent. The concept is realised with enough thought behind it and the Rezort has a nicely developed corporate identity within the story. This is a B-movie through and through, but it’s certainly not a bad premise. Paul Gerstenberger’s screenplay takes stabs at confronting the ethical quandary of hunting what once were human beings, and there’s a half-baked refugee allegory somewhere in there too. It’s not lofty philosophy by any means, but it’s more than we expected from an action-horror romp.

            Unfortunately, it takes too long for the movie to kick into gear, and once everything goes pear-shaped, the zombie mayhem is largely repetitive and not terribly exciting. It’s the same thing a lot of zombie flicks struggle with – the undead hordes chomp down on their victims or rip out their throats, the human survivors blast a zombie in the head, repeat ad nauseam.

It certainly doesn’t help that all the acting is patently unremarkable. Some might recognise De Gouw from the recent Dracula TV series or her stint as the Huntress on Arrow; she’s little more than a generically pretty brunette and does not possess much screen presence. It’s also a bad sign when the mysterious badass in your cast is played by Dougray Scott, who probably still rues the day he had to drop out of X-Men and was replaced by Hugh Jackman. The two jumped-up teenage gamer characters are supremely annoying, but that was likely the intention. Goose is pretty flat in the stock icy boss lady role, which really could’ve been a lot of fun in the hands of someone like Cate Blanchett or Glenn Close.

            If you’re a genre aficionado and enjoy seeking out low-to-mid-budget horror flicks that fly under the mainstream radar, The Rezort is worth a passing glance for putting a somewhat inspired spin on the zombie movie formula. It’s plenty silly, but does not get swallowed up entirely in said silliness and with a better cast and a bigger budget, might actually have been almost good.

Summary: The Rezort lacks in thrills and its ambition is hamstrung by its budget, but there are glimmers of wit in its premise, such that it rises slightly above your run of the mill zombie flick.

RATING: 3 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong 

Now You See Me 2

For F*** Magazine

NOW YOU SEE ME 2

Director : Jon M. Chu
Cast : Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Dave Franco, Lizzy Caplan, Mark Ruffalo, Jay Chou, Daniel Radcliffe, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Sanaa Lathan
Genre : Action/Adventure
Run Time : 2 hrs 10 mins
Opens : 16 June 2016
Rating : PG (Some Violence)

The Four Horsemen ride again with new tricks up their respective sleeves in the sequel to Now You See Me. It’s been a year since the events of the first film, and Daniel Atlas (Eisenberg), Merritt McKinney (Harrelson) and Jack Wilder (Franco) have been lying low, awaiting instructions from The Eye, the secret society into which they were inducted. FBI Agent Dylan Rhodes (Ruffalo) attempts to keep up the charade of pursuing the Horsemen while secretly leading them. Replacing Henley Reeves, who grew tired of waiting, is the enthusiastic Lula (Caplan). The Horsemen’s new mission is to expose the unethical practices of smartphone manufacturer Octa, but a spanner is thrown in the works by Walter Mabry (Radcliffe), Octa’s reclusive co-founder. The Horsemen find themselves in Macau, and must seek the help of magic shop proprietor Li (Chou) as Mabry forces them to pull off a nigh-impossible heist. In the meantime, both former benefactor Arthur Tressler (Caine) and magic debunker Thaddeus Bradley (Freeman) seek their vengeance on the Horsemen.

            Jon M. Chu replaces Louis Leterrier in the director’s chair for the second instalment of what studio Lionsgate is hoping shapes up to be their next big franchise. If the first film offered up flashy spectacle and a plot comprised of puzzle pieces that did not quite fit together in hindsight, Now You See Me 2 gives audiences more of the same. The screenplay by Ed Solomon ties itself into knots that do not untangle despite giving the appearance of doing so. This might seem like a film that imagines itself to be far smarter than it really is, but the more likely scenario is that the filmmakers are well aware that these movies will not hold up to scrutiny and that audiences will be content with revelling in the moment. Chu brings slickness and swagger to the proceedings that ever so slightly papers over the gaping plot holes. The director’s dance movie expertise is evident in several sequences that are elaborately choreographed, but ultimately more dizzying than dazzling.

            The first film’s greatest asset was its cast, comprising actors whose charisma and charm could almost rival that of Danny Ocean and his 11, if only the Four Horsemen weren’t outnumbered. Isla Fisher was unable to reprise the role of Henley Reeves due to her pregnancy, so Henley was written out and Lizzy Caplan steps in as new character Lula. The danger with these characters is that being showmen, they’re all egotistical and obnoxious to different degrees. Harrelson seems to be having twice as much fun as before, but comes across as irritating rather than actually funny. Atlas’ haughty, twitchy nature is something Eisenberg has no problems conveying, but Atlas has had to eat some humble pie since the events of the last film, and Eisenberg convincingly portrays that character development too. Caplan is a likeable performer, but her “over-eager new girl” shtick does also wear on the nerves after a while.

Rhodes’ charade is up and the audience knows that he is not only on the Horsemen’s side, but actively leading them. Ruffalo gives the role far more effort than it deserves, and his presence does elevate the material. Quite amusingly, Ruffalo becomes the latest Hollywood actor who has to pretend to be adept at speaking Mandarin Chinese. As the primary antagonist, Radcliffe isn’t exactly easy to buy as someone who would be able to run rings around the Horsemen. The actor has explored his darker side in other film and stage projects, but there’s supposed to be menace behind Walter’s smile, menace that Radcliffe is unable to muster.

It’s abundantly clear that Chou’s inclusion and the Macau setting merely serves to pander to Chinese audiences. Veteran actress Tsai Chin (not to be confused with the Taiwanese singer of the same name), who plays Li’s grandmother Bu Bu, is a far livelier screen presence than Chou. The film calls upon Caine and Freeman to provide gravitas while not doing very much at all, something the iconic actors do without breaking a sweat.

            Now You See Me 2 alternates between being supremely entertaining and frustrating. There’s glitz, glamour and eye candy effects work galore, but twist after twist after twist does not a truly engrossing thriller make. That’s the paradox: it does not hold up to close examination, yet invites audiences to do so. Ultimately, your enjoyment of Now You See Me 2 is contingent on just how willing you are to be taken on a ride. You’ll get bamboozled, but you just might have fun in the process.

Summary: Now You See Me 2 doesn’t make a lot of sense, but the first movie convinced general audiences that making sense isn’t the goal here. The goal is to entertain while misdirecting, and this has entertainment and misdirection in spades.

RATING: 3 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong

I Am Wrath

For F*** Magazine

I AM WRATH

Director : Chuck Russell
Cast : John Travolta, Christopher Meloni, Amanda Schull, Rebecca De Mornay, Sam Trammell, Luis Da Silva, Patrick St. Esprit
Genre : Action/Crime/Drama
Run Time : 90 mins
Opens : 12 May 2016
Rating : NC16 (Violence)

John Travolta is very angry, and you won’t like him when he’s angry. In this action thriller, Travolta plays Stanley Hill, a mild-mannered auto manufacturing plant manager whose wife Vivian (De Mornay) is murdered in cold blood by some thugs right in front of his eyes. Frustrated by the inefficiency of the justice system, Stanley decides to take matters into his own hands in his quest for vengeance. He turns to his old friend Dennis (Meloni), who runs a barbershop but who used to work alongside Stanley in the distant, shadowy past. As Stanley and Dennis cut a swath through the city’s criminal element and uncover a conspiracy involving state officials, Stanley’s daughter Abbie (Schull) finds herself in the thugs’ crosshairs too.

If you’re thinking, “Gee, this sounds like the kind of thing Nicolas Cage would sleepwalk through,” you’re absolutely right. Cage was apparently slated to star in I Am Wrath, with legendary director William Friedkin (The Exorcist, The French Connection) attached, but that incarnation fell through. Instead, we get the man with whom Cage once swapped faces. It’s no secret that every actor wants to be Liam Neeson in Taken, but not every actor has what it takes. Here, John Travolta is one of the least convincing action heroes in recent memory, complete with a paunch and a ghastly hairpiece. It seems odd that Dennis is a barber by trade, and doesn’t mention a word about how odd his pal’s hair looks.

This is a movie that takes itself very seriously, taking its title from Jeremiah 6:11 in the Bible, which begins, “But I am full of the wrath of the LORD, and I cannot hold it in”. Because it is so very difficult to take Travolta seriously as a badass, I Am Wrath flits between being unintentionally funny and just dreadfully dull. His co-star Meloni would make a much better lead – now there’s a believable middle-aged guy who could throw down with gun-toting, knife-wielding no-goodniks. To go earlier than Taken, I Am Wrath clearly wants to be Death Wish. Now, Charles Bronson was a grizzled guy nobody wanted to mess with. Travolta looks like he’s midway through a transformation into a wax statue of himself.

From the stock ‘dead wife motivation’ to the non-descript gangster villains to the corrupt authority figures, I Am Wrath has not a single original bone in its body. The decision to set the movie in Columbus, Ohio seems like an odd one, to say the least. We have nothing against Columbus, Ohio – we’ve never been to Columbus, Ohio – but as filmed by director Chuck Russell and cinematographer Andrzej Sekuła, it looks extremely boring. Incidentally, Sekuła was the Director of Photography on Pulp Fiction, which starred Travolta. I Am Wrath’s tagline is, “I lay my vengeance upon them,” obviously meant to evoke Ezekiel 25:17, the Bible verse famously paraphrased by Samuel L. Jackson’s character Jules Winnfield in Pulp Fiction. Let this be a lesson for every mediocre to terrible movie out there: do not remind the audience of far superior work.

Summary: John Travolta is as unconvincing an action hero as they come in this lazy, wholly forgettable sub-Taken dreck.

RATING: 1.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong

The Huntsman: Winter's War

For F*** Magazine

THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER'S WAR

Director : Cedric Nicolas-Troyan
Cast : Chris Hemsworth, Jessica Chastain, Emily Blunt, Charlize Theron, Nick Frost, Rob Brydon, Alexandra Roach, Sheridan Smith, Sam Claflin
Genre : Action/Fantasy
Run Time : 114 mins
Opens : 14 April 2016
Rating : PG13 (Violence)

Once upon a time, there was an actress whose indiscretions resulted in her being booted from a potential franchise which she would’ve headlined. So instead, we turn our attention to the deuteragonist. Eric the Huntsman (Hemsworth) was one of a number of children kidnapped and forced into military training, to be groomed into the army of the Snow Queen Freya (Blunt). Defying Freya’s orders that they harden their hearts to love, Eric falls headlong for fellow warrior Sara (Chastain). Many years later, Eric thinks he is free of Freya’s grasp, but when her soldiers threaten Snow White’s kingdom, he has to face the Snow Queen again. Freya has taken the magic mirror, which she uses to resurrect her elder sister Ravenna (Theron), thought vanquished by Snow White and Eric. Joining Eric and Sara in their journey are dwarves Nion (Frost) and Gryff (Brydon). Eric and Sara must face off against the troops they grew up alongside, battling the power of the two sisters.

            Any studio wants franchises, and Universal is certainly no different. They’ve struck a goldmine with the Fast and Furious series and a new Universal Monsters universe is poised to take shape, but there’s always room for more cash cows in the herd. Alas, the action-fantasy take on Snow White seems a wobbly basis for a juggernaut franchise. When Kristen Stewart was given the boot, so was director Rupert Sanders, with whom she was having an affair. Replacing him at the helm is visual effects artist Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, The Huntsman marking his feature film directorial debut. Frank Darabont was initially set to direct, but he left before production began.

There are certain neat aesthetic ideas on display in the film and returning costume designer Colleen Atwood outfits Freya and Ravenna in a selection of splendid couture creations. Unfortunately, it all tends towards the generic. Where the plot is concerned, palace intrigue and dissention amongst the ranks against a medieval fantasy backdrop is readily available in more sophisticated and arresting forms elsewhere. Yes, it’s more ersatz Game of Thrones – or ‘Game of Theron’s’, if you will.

We have a good cast making do with ho-hum material – the presence of Blunt, Theron and Chastain in one movie should have far more propulsive impact than we actually get. But first, the titular Huntsman - For all of Hemsworth’s pulchritude and his ropey attempts at a Scottish accent, the filmmakers seem fully aware that Eric is a patently uninteresting character. We gain precious little from learning the character’s back-story, which is tied into that of the female lead, Sara. Chastain has repeatedly proven that she’s a force to be reckoned with and she kicks plenty of ass in full action heroine mode. But when it comes down to it, a mono-dimensional tough chick who’s totally one of the dudes and doesn’t need no man (or so she tells herself) is not that much better than a damsel in distress. In the cut we saw, a love scene between the two was abruptly truncated – puzzling that the censorship board opted to snip stuff out of a PG-13 fantasy flick that had its Singapore premiere in a theme park.

Incorporating the Snow Queen as the villain of the piece was no doubt a result of Frozen’s continued popularity. The Disney animated film couched the character as an anti-heroine, whereas Hans Christian Andersen created the character as more of a villainess. There was a good deal more to Elsa than there is to Freya, cries of “overrated” be damned. Blunt’s talents are wasted; her performance is pretty much a coolly restrained version of Theron’s. She’s not called upon to do very much at all. Speaking of Theron, she was far and away the best part of Snow White and the Huntsman, her ravenous scenery-chewing injecting the dour fantasy action proceedings with considerable excitement. She’s not in this one for very much and the sisterly bond/sibling rivalry between Freya and Ravenna gets insufficient development.

While the effects work involved in shrinking regular-sized actors down to dwarves is as seamless as it was the first time round, the dwarves obviously serve little purpose apart from comic relief and could be excised from the plot without too much consequence. It’s a relief that a fair number of these jokes land.

The action sequences suffer from shaky-cam and choppy editing, so we don’t get to truly appreciate the deadly skill with which Eric and Sara dispatch their enemies. The U.K. locations, including Waverley Abbey in Surrey, Well’s Bishops Palace and Puzzlewood in the Forest of Dean ensure the film does not get swallowed up in computer-generated morass. It’s a shame but perhaps to be expected that the spectacle doesn’t soar and the story ends up flat, the film failing to make a case for its existence. A spot of sequel-begging right at the movie’s conclusion can’t help but come off as desperate; Universal might not get its fairy-tale ending after all.

Summary: Star power, intricate costume design and flashy visual effects set-pieces can’t keep this formulaic, mostly listless sequel/prequel/spin-off from leaving us cold.

RATING: 2.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong 

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

For F*** Magazine

BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE 

Director : Zack Snyder

Cast : Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Jeremy Irons, Gal Gadot, Holly Hunter

Genre : Action/Adventure/Fantasy

Run Time : 2 hrs 32 mins

Opens : 24 March 2016

Rating : PG13 (Some Violence)

The following review is spoiler-free.

Superheroes collide with shattering force in the second film in the DC Extended Universe (DCEU). It has been 18 months since Superman/Clark Kent’s (Cavill) battle with General Zod in Metropolis. Clark has moved in with fellow reporter Lois Lane (Adams), and Superman has gained both admirers and fervent detractors. Falling into the latter camp is Gotham City’s Batman/Bruce Wayne (Affleck), billionaire industrialist by day, ruthless vigilante by night. His butler Alfred (Irons) advises against taking rash action, but Batman is convinced that Superman’s power, if left unchecked, will lead to global annihilation. Also plotting to take down Superman, albeit for more selfish purposes, is young tech mogul Lex Luthor (Eisenberg). Luthor lobbies Kentucky senator June Finch (Hunter) to support his R&D efforts in developing a deterrent to use against Superman, while Finch calls for Superman to explain himself before the senate. In the meantime, Bruce’s curiosity is ignited by the presence of Wonder Woman/Diana Prince (Gadot), an elegant and capable warrior of yet-to-be-determined origin.

2013’s Man of Steel left critics and fans sharply divided, and it’s an understatement to say that this follow-up has quite the burden to bear. There’s no question that DC is playing catch-up to Marvel at the movies and there was the valid fear that Batman v Superman would be overstuffed to make up for lost ground. Batman v Superman does have apparent flaws, but a conscious effort is made to incorporate a substantive depth that the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) doesn’t yet possess, outside of Netflix anyway. Character motivations make plenty of sense, conflicts are given context, major disagreements are not conveniently settled and the main criticism of Man of Steel, the wanton destruction caused or at least enabled by Superman, is directly addressed. Characters wax philosophical on the nature of god and man, the implications of nigh-unlimited power and notions of justice. This may come off as portentously logy to some, but to others, these are icons worth delving into.

Much has been made of the film’s 152-minute running time. Structurally, it is front-loaded with plot, with the bulk of the action being slathered on thick towards the conclusion. This reviewer did not feel the film was too long, and the character development we get during the first two acts is very satisfying. However, some audiences are bound to be fatigued and hard-pressed to care all that much about the climactic battles if they’ve already tuned out while Bruce is at the Batcomputer decrypting a hard drive. The Senator Finch subplot also proves largely extraneous.

Full disclosure: this reviewer is a massive DC Comics fan and is able to appreciate director Zack Snyder’s interpretation of seminal imagery and plot points from the source material, most notably The Dark Knight Returns. Nothing in this film made us throw our hands up in the air, crying “they just don’t get it!” Because of the sheer breadth of these characters’ history in the comics, there’s no way to please everyone, and this reviewer found that the interpretations of Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman feel like they belong in the same cohesive universe.

Any time Batman and Superman are in the same piece of media, the former is bound to steal the limelight from the latter. Affleck’s casting was controversial, with many deeming him insufficiently intimidating. This version of Batman is a grizzled veteran who’s 20 years into his crime-fighting career, employs a dazzling array of high-tech gadgets and is driven and obsessed. Good enough for us. Sure, he displays a sadistic streak, branding criminals with his bat insignia, but then again, Michael Keaton’s Batman shoved clowns into potholes, leaving them to explode as he grinned. There are references to allies and rogues, Batman’s relationship with Alfred gets sufficient play. Irons brings both the wry charm and the gumption to stand up to Batman that are integral to the Alfred character. The Bat-centric action sequences are strongly reminiscent of the recent Arkham video-game series, which this reviewer feels contained some of the best sequences of Batman in combat ever presented.

Superman is variously referred to as a “god” and a “devil” and Cavill continues to dig for the humanity behind the iconography. While he might lack the acting chops to flesh out a truly compelling Superman, particularly when pitted against Batman, it’s good to see Clark juggle the heroics and his reporter day job. There’s also the element of class warfare: Bruce is the scion of a wealthy family; Clark was raised on a farm in Kansas and works the daily grind as a journalist. There are some genuinely sweet moments that Cavill shares with Adams. While we do get to see Lois in the thick of it doing a good deal of snooping around, the main purpose the character serves is to get rescued and get rescued and get rescued. Lois had a significant role in the proceedings in Man of Steel, but is side-lined a little because of everything else occurring in the story here.

Eisenberg’s performance is the biggest problem this reviewer has with the film. This is meant to be a reinvention of Lex, traditionally more of a quiet schemer type. Lex’s reworked back-story, which sees him as a young tech mogul who has reshaped his father’s aging company into a Silicon Valley power player, is just fine by this reviewer. Many of the character’s lines are clever and his actions and appropriately devious. However, Eisenberg’s twitchy jumpiness is unable to convey the deep-seated menace one of the most iconic DC supervillains should inherently possess. His words and actions are despicable enough, but his mannerisms diminish their impact.

Wonder Woman’s presence here reminded this reviewer of Black Widow’s role in Iron Man 2. Since there’s so much already afoot, the character’s first big screen appearance is more of a pointer to her upcoming solo film, with several clever allusions to Diana’s roots in Greek mythology being included. The moves she busts during the final fight, her entry onto the battlefield heralded by Tina Guo’s rocking electric cello solo, are sure to elicit cheers. That’s the standout bit of Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL’s soundtrack for sure. Gadot does not have too much to do here, but her blend of mystique and strength fits Wonder Woman just fine. The product placement is toned down considerably from Man of Steel; the most obvious instance being when Wonder Woman boards a Turkish Airlines flight – a visible jet, if you will.

Many were worried that that the film might spend too long setting up the upcoming Justice League movie, but it turns out that we get fleeting glimpses of the superhero team’s future members; said glimpses are tantalising and memorable. Just as the titular heroes grapple with each other, this film grapples with doing these iconic characters justice while serving up bombastic spectacle. It falters on several occasions, but this reviewer appreciates how the DCEU is setting itself apart from the MCU. The three-episode arc of Superman: The Animated Series in which Batman and Superman first meet does have far more of a focus than this film has, but this live-action event should not be written off lightly and we’ve got our fingers crossed for how the DCEU proceeds from here.

Summary: Packed with as much thematic pondering as super-powered fisticuffs, Batman v Superman might be a chore for some to sit through, but it’s clear the filmmakers have not taken this clash of titans lightly.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong 

Gods of Egypt

For F*** Magazine

GODS OF EGYPT

Director : Alex Proyas
Cast : Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Brenton Thwaites, Gerard Butler, Elodie Yung, Chadwick Boseman, Courtney Eaton, Bryan Brown, Rufus Sewell, Geoffrey Rush
Genre : Action/Fantasy
Run Time : 126 mins
Opens : 25 February 2016
Rating : PG13 (Some Violence)

If there’s one constant throughout most ancient deistic mythologies, it’s that the gods have always got to drag poor mortals into their epic struggles. The god Osiris (Brown) is about to pass the crown to his son Horus (Coster-Waldau), the god of the sky. Osiris’ jealous brother Set (Butler), the god of the desert, crashes the coronation and snatches the crown for himself, gouging out Horus’ eyes and stealing away Horus’ companion Hathor (Yung), the goddess of love. Bek (Thwaites), a streetwise mortal, is hopelessly in love with Zaya (Eaton), who is forced to be a servant to chief architect Urshu (Sewell). Zaya gives Bek the plans to Set’s secret vault, and Bek sets about breaking in to steal Horus’ eye and return it to the god. Weakened and in exile, Horus reluctantly teams up with Bek, travelling to the domain of his grandfather Ra (Rush) the sun god to request that Horus’ powers be restored. Horus and Bek must call upon the expertise of Thoth (Boseman), the god of wisdom, to answer the riddle of the Sphinx and defeat the power-mad Set.

            If you saw the trailers for Gods of Egypt and thought “gee, this looks ridiculous”, you aren’t alone and you aren’t wrong. This fantasy flick overflows with gratuitous and consistently-unconvincing computer-generated imagery. The best thing that can be said about it is, well, it’s colourful. The plot point of gods falling from grace is faintly echoed by the way director Alex Proyas’ own career has tumbled. The once-promising helmer of The Crow and Dark City eventually went from that to I, Robot, to Knowing, to now this. Clash of the Titans but with ancient Egyptian deities is a fun premise on paper, but Gods of Egypt entirely lacks the resources to pull this off, even with a $140 million budget. Screenwriting duo Matt Sazama and Buck Sharpless, whose less-than-inspiring credits comprise Dracula Untold and The Last Witch Hunter, spin a story that comes off as derivative. Despite referencing specific elements of ancient Egyptian mythology, the characters lack any defining identity of their own.

            Gods of Egypt has come under fire for its whitewashed casting – this is a film drawing on African mythology that features a predominantly white cast. Both director Proyas and studio Lionsgate have issued apologies for not considering a diverse cast, while also trucking out the expected “but it’s a fantasy film” defence. Yes, this is a silly, ultimately inconsequential movie, but what it sadly demonstrates is that even in 2016, white actors who are B-listers at best are preferred over actors of other ethnicities. Boseman has said he is thankful that as someone of African descent, he gets to portray the god of wisdom Thoth, but also conceded in the same interview that “people don't make $140 million movies starring black and brown people.” Thoth is assisted by an army of duplicates of himself, so there’s a sad joke about how that evens the scales somewhere in there.

            Coster-Waldau, best-known as Jamie Lannister on Game of Thrones, is a passable brooding hero. Thwaites, playing a character who’s essentially Disney’s version of Aladdin, is almost insufferably bland and frequently annoying. The stabs at buddy movie banter between Horus and Bek generally fall flat. Model/actress Eaton, who played Cheedo the Fragile in Mad Max: Fury Road, matches Thwaites in her woodenness. The relationship between Bek and Zaya is meant to be one worth charging the gates of the underworld for, but it really couldn’t be any less compelling. As the other main female character in the story, Yung fares only slightly better, Hathor serving primarily as further motivation for Horus to seek vengeance against Set.

Butler chomping the scenery as a snarling villain consumed with absolute domination is, at least, slightly more interesting than Butler playing a generic action hero, or trying his hand at romantic comedy. Rush’s appearance as Ra feels like a cut-rate version of Anthony Hopkins as Odin in the Thor movies, like a doctor-ordered dosage of prestige. It is somewhat amusing to see the Oscar-winner battle what can only be described as, forgive our crassness, a gargantuan cosmic toothed anus.

            Gods of Egypt is quite the misguided enterprise, at once extravagant and hollow. Any inventiveness its visuals might possess is undercut by the phoniness of it all. For example, while it certainly sounds cool to have all the gods stand nine feet tall, this “reverse-Hobbit” effect makes it seem like they’re never actually occupying the same space as the mortals they’re interacting with. You’re tired of reading this comparison, we’re tired of writing it and it’s a disservice to video games, but this movie looks like a video game. While Gods of Egypt feels like it’s going to be so bad it’s good and there is a fair amount of unintentional hilarity to take in, everything eventually blurs together and it’s more effort to endure than it’s worth.

Summary: Between the CGI mucilage, flat acting, uninspired story and a once-promising director just giving up, Gods of Egypt is an ungodly mess.

RATING: 1.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong