Central Intelligence

For F*** Magazine

CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE

Director : Rawson Marshall Thurber
Cast : Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Amy Ryan, Aaron Paul, Danielle Nicolet, Thomas Kretschmann
Genre : Action/Comedy
Run Time : 1 hr 54 mins
Opens : 16 June 2016
Rating : PG13 (Some Sexual References and Coarse Language)

Over the past few years, Kevin Hart has become the universal adapter plug of the buddy comedy subgenre, having been paired with the likes of Will Ferrell, Josh Gad and Ice Cube amongst others. This time, Hart is teamed with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. But is just their disparity in physical stature enough to elicit the laughs?

Hart plays Calvin “Golden Jet” Joyner, who in high school, was a popular and highly successful student. Robbie Weirdicht (Johnson) was an overweight social outcast who was relentlessly bullied, and Calvin was the only one who would show him any kindness. 20 years later, Robbie has undergone a complete physical transformation and reinvented himself as “Bob Stone”. Calvin is married to his high school sweetheart Maggie (Nicolet), but is unfulfilled in his accounting career. Robbie and Calvin reunite, but Calvin is informed by CIA agent Pamela Harris (Ryan) that Robbie is in fact a dangerous rogue agency operative wanted for the murder of his former partner. Robbie tries to convince Calvin of his innocence as the two go on the run, trying to stop classified intel from falling into the hands of a mysterious underworld player known as “the Black Badger”.

The thinking behind Central Intelligence seems to have been “just let the two leads loose, that should be plenty to carry a movie.” Much of the would-be comedy is painfully unfunny, and the action is generic and unimpressive. This is far from the first comedy in which a regular Joe is flung into the mix of high-stakes international intrigue, and the plot is painfully perfunctory and the final reveal is a predictable one. There’s an anti-bullying message here, that if you’re picked on by the jocks in high school, all you need to do is transform yourself into Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to get back at them. That should be pretty easy for anyone to do. The prologue features Johnson’s face digitally pasted onto a different actor who portrays the young Robbie; this effect is nestled deep in the uncanny valley and is terrifying rather than funny.

To the movie’s credit, it doesn’t go down the “one’s silly and the other’s stoic” route typical of buddy cop flicks. While Hart does eventually go into shrill, flailing mode, the character is likeable because of the kindness he shows towards the underdog. Johnson does have fun with the Robbie character, who may be all 6’ 5” of hulking muscle, but is the same awkward, socially mal-adjusted kid deep down. The thing is, Johnson is too slick and polished to come across as convincingly dorky. Nicolet’s Maggie is just “the wife” – the plot seems to hint at how marrying one’s high school sweetheart may not be all it’s cracked up to be, but doesn’t really go anywhere. Ryan is certainly far above the material, and phones it in as the comically serious dogged agent hunting down the suspect. Bateman is pretty much wasted as a stock slimy, snivelling banker type, and Paul’s appearance amounts to little more than an extended cameo. Look out for a prominent comedienne in the film's climax.

Central Intelligence has the same problem that most Kevin Hart vehicles have: the producers bank too much on the comedian’s appeal to audiences and everything around him seems to be on autopilot. It’s a wasted opportunity, especially since Hart is paired with a bona fide action hero like Johnson. Instead of a production line comedy with bits of action sprinkled about half-heartedly, it would have been fun to see the duo tear into the conventions of buddy cop and spy movies in a full-tilt action extravaganza fuelled by belly laughs. The film trucks out the hoary dictum of “being yourself” – we’ll bet it’s easy to “be yourself” when you’re Dwayne Johnson. The scenes in which Robbie is wracked with anxiety brought about by the trauma he endured in school did resonate a little with this reviewer, but it never seems sincere enough to be a truly effective message. Sure, it’s sporadically amusing just by dint of putting Hart and Johnson together, but it’s clear that Central Intelligence isn’t aiming for any particular heights and is merely coasting along.

Summary: Sure, the leading men have chemistry, but unremarkable action sequences and jokes that are more cringe-inducing than genuinely funny ensure this won’t be front and centre in most moviegoers’ memories after they leave the theatre.

RATING: 2 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong

San Andreas

For F*** Magazine

SAN ANDREAS

Director : Brad Peyton

Cast : Dwayne Johnson, Alexandra Daddario, Carla Gugino, Paul Giamatti, Ioan Gruffudd, Colton Haynes, Archie Panjabi, Hugo Johnstone-Burt, Todd Williams, Art Parkinson, Kylie Minogue, Will Yun Lee

Genre : Adventure/Thriller

Run Time : 114 mins

Opens : 28 May 2015

“We all have our little faults,” Lex Luthor told Superman in the 1978 film. “Mine’s in California.” In this disaster thriller, that “little fault” leads to big problems as the entire US west coast is crippled by a devastating earthquake of unprecedented magnitude. Los Angeles Fire Department rescue pilot Ray Gaines (Johnson) has to save his estranged wife Emma (Gugino) and the couple have to put aside their differences in order to reach their daughter Blake (Daddario). Blake is trapped in San Francisco alongside Ben (Johnstone-Burt) and his kid brother Ollie (Parkinson), Ben interviewing for a position at the office of superstar architect Daniel Riddick (Gruffudd), Emma’s new boyfriend. Meanwhile, CalTech seismology professor Lawrence Hayes (Giamatti) has been working on a system to predict earthquakes and is determined to get the word out so as many lives can be saved before the destruction escalates.

            Let’s address the elephant in the room: Nepal has recently been hit by two major quakes, the death toll now exceeding 8500. The marketing for San Andreas has been tweaked with an emphasis on earthquake preparedness and donating to the relief effort, with a portion of the movie’s takings set to be donated to Nepal. Still, it’s understandable that very few audiences, if any, will find harrowing devastation in this specific context very entertaining. It’s a little like when the kids-on-a-space-shuttle adventure Space Camp was released two months after the Challenger disaster. In fact, it leads one to wonder if a movie like San Andreas was ever a good idea, even before the Nepal tremblor, given the tragic frequency with which such calamities occur these days.

Big summer blockbusters are meant to provide escapism rather than continually remind viewers of the problems that plague the world in real life. Post-9/11, many action flicks have deliberately invoked the imagery of collapsing buildings and citizens scrambling away from falling debris in the hopes of eliciting an emotional response through mere association with actual tragedies, which seems to be the case here too. The Catch-22 faced by director Brad Peyton is that if the events depicted in the film are too fanciful and ridiculous, it will pull audiences out of it, but if they are too realistic, it will hit too close to home.

            The phrase “destruction porn” has been tossed about derisively in reference to blockbusters like Man of Steel and just about everything in Roland Emmerich’s filmography. Let’s call a spade a spade – San Andreas is destruction porn. We don’t mean this sanctimoniously; wanton carnage has always been one of the main ingredients in creating large-scale spectacle. It’s worth acknowledging the effort made to craft inventive, thrilling sequences and the amount of work involved in creating the digital deluge must have been mind-boggling. All credit to the armies of artists at visual effects houses Scanline, hy*drau”lx, Method Studios, Cinesite and other vendors for their work here. The scale is suitably epic but one can’t help but have the niggling sense of hollow artificiality throughout. Moviegoers have become harder to impress and even with rippling seismic waves tearing through the L.A. city centre and cargo ships lodged in skyscrapers, San Andreas is rarely truly impressive. The 3D conversion is also something of a let-down.

            When it comes to the plot, San Andreas is predictable to, well, a fault. The involvement of at least six screenwriters performing multiple studio-mandated rewrites ensures that the script is safe, homogenised and dull. Paul Giamatti, playing a seismology professor as if the character were a scientist from a ‘50s creature feature, warns “it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.” We also counted at least nine utterances of the line “oh my god!” (mostly from Carla Gugino). Every disaster movie cliché in the book is flung into San Andreas, as well as clichés from other genres for good measure. You’ve got the strong, hardworking protagonist, his estranged wife, the wealthy douchebag who is his wife’s new boyfriend, the daughter who needs to be rescued but who is largely plucky and capable when required, the daughter’s earnest, handsome love interest and the tagalong kid for comic relief. Oh, and the protagonist has already lost one child in an earlier rafting accident. This doesn’t feel like it needed six writers, it feels like all it took was an algorithm fed into some kind of automated writing software.

            Dwayne Johnson reunites with Peyton, who directed him in Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. The wrestler-turned-action-hero can do the noble, heroic thing in his sleep by now. Carla Gugino spends most of the movie yelling. Alexandra Daddario is the “damsel in a degree of distress”, competent but still in need of dad coming to the rescue. It’s all just tired and cheesy. Hollywood, it’s time to rewrite the disaster movie formula, and no amount of tsunamis smacking shipping crates into the Golden Gate Bridge can distract us from that dire need.

Summary: San Andreas manages to out-‘90s most ‘90s disaster flicks, unintentionally funny in how dated and corny despite several well-crafted set pieces.

RATING: 2 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong 

Fast & Furious 7

For F*** Magazine

FAST & FURIOUS 7

Director : James Wan
Cast : Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Elsa Pataky, Lucas Black, Jason Statham, Djimon Hounsou, Tony Jaa, Ronda Rousey, Kurt Russell
Genre : Action/Thriller
Run Time : 137 mins
Opens : 2 April 2015

Big wheels keep on turning, the rubber keeps on burning and Dominic Toretto (Diesel) and his crew are rolling, rolling, rolling down the road in the seventh instalment of the Fast and Furious franchise. Dom and his “family”, comprising Brian (Walker), Letty (Rodriguez), Tej (Ludacris) and Roman (Gibson) have been pardoned for their crimes in the previous films. Now, they’re sent hurtling back into their dangerous, high-speed existence when the lethal Deckard Shaw (Statham), looking to make the crew pay for almost killing his brother Owen, comes calling. With the assistance of spymaster “Mr. Nobody” (Russell) and Special Agent Hobbs (Johnson) of the Diplomatic Security Service, Dom and co. ride for their lives, this adventure taking them from L.A. to Azerbaijan to Abu Dhabi and back.

            We’ll get straight to the point – the untimely passing of star Paul Walker has cast a dark pall over a franchise built on pure escapism. What should have been yet another fist-pumping, all-out action spectacular is now a bittersweet affair. Director James Wan, taking the baton from Justin Lin, has managed to create a flick where the audience is reassured up front that it’s okay to have fun, it’s okay to just go along for the ride - and yet Brian O’Conner’s exit from the series is handled with as much grace and sincerity as the series can muster. The film displays a level of self-awareness – early on, Brian tells his young son Jack that “cars don’t fly”. Later in the film, they absolutely do fly. Screenwriter Chris Morgan supplies dialogue that is as overripe and clichéd as ever and yet, there is an undeniable charm to it all. Surprisingly, the 137 minute run time passes at a decent clip.

            There’s something that makes this franchise very different from the Transformers movies, even though they are aimed at exactly the same demographic and contain cool automobiles, explosions and leery shots of scantily-clad women. There’s an earnestness here as opposed to the cynicism that pervades the Transformers films. This is movie #7 and yet there’s the sense that all involved are still invested and are determined not to phone it in, embracing the over-the-top stunts with all they’ve got.

Wan must’ve broken out in hives trying to devise vehicular set-pieces that would top those of Fast & Furious 6, which involved a tank and a massive cargo plane. Here, we have cars inserted into a treacherous mountain pass via air drop, a Lykan Hypersport sailing out a skyscraper window and crashing into the adjacent building, and a finale in which our heroes are pursued by a stealth attack helicopter and a souped-up Predator drone. Props go to second unit director and stunt coordinator Jack Gill for putting it all together – those cars were dropped out of a plane for real. Unfortunately, as adrenaline-pumping as these signature sequences still are, there is a conspicuous increase in the reliance on computer-generated imagery, especially for the Etihad Towers jump and the helicopter attack. The scenes in which Paul Walker is digitally doubled also stick out. It’s not enough to pull one out of it completely, but it does lack polish.

For all of screenwriter Morgan’s unsubtlety, he’s done a fine job of distributing the spotlight among the ensemble cast. The moments of pathos are cheesy – Michelle Rodriguez’s Letty is still coping with her amnesia – but all parties involved know that’s not why the audience is present. Even then, the loss experienced by the crew following the deaths of Gisele and Han in #6 is palpable and does lend the proceedings an emotional backbone, however slight. The film serves a great swansong for Walker; he gets to go mano a mano with Tony Jaa in two blistering martial arts showdowns. Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson continue to have amiable chemistry as the constantly bickering Tej and Roman, but Tyrese’s comic asides border on the excessive here.  

Jason Statham is a fittingly intimidating villain, essentially Frank Martin from the Transporter series if he had no moral compunction whatsoever. There’s a nice appearance by Djimon Hounsou as a secondary baddie even though the character doesn’t do much. Dwayne Johnson revels in the exaggerated action hero persona the material presents him with, trucking out one-liners like “you’ve earned yourself a dance with the devil, boy” and “I’m gonna put a hurt on him so hard, he’ll wish his mother kept her legs closed.” Ronda Rousey shows up as a bodyguard to furnish the requisite catfight with Michelle Rodriguez, a role fulfilled by fellow MMA fighter Gina Carano in the previous film. The show is well and truly stolen by Kurt Russell. The 80s action icon has still got it and looks like he’s having a ball. When he slips on the night-vision shades and draws twin pistols to get in on the fun himself, prepare to cheer.

As film critics, we hear the “it’s not meant to be Oscar-worthy high art” defence a whole lot. Well, for the Fast and Furious films, especially #5 onwards, it applies. We’re not about to give the cheesy dialogue and sometimes-intrusive visual effects work a free pass, but Wan makes sure it all comes together nicely and delivers what was promised – a really good time for action junkies. In addition, the director shoulders the responsibility of fashioning this loud, brash extravaganza into an emotional send-off for its recently-deceased star. Vin Diesel has been open about how truly distraught Walker’s death left him and we do see some of that laid bare on the screen. We’re not ashamed to say we were left misty-eyed and in that respect, Wan has succeeded. There are no stinger scenes during or after the end credits and while this does seem like a great place to call it a day, Universal is intent on doing at least three more. Better to ride off into the sunset while you’re ahead, but that’s not how studios work, we suppose.

Summary: The spectacle is as bombastic as ever and the laws of physics are as irrelevant as ever; the series continuing to entertain. Fast & Furious 7 also manages to provide some genuine heart amidst all that cheese, bidding a fond farewell to Paul Walker.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong 

We are fast. We are furious. We are Groot.

Fast & Furious 6

Written for F*** Magazine, Singapore

FAST & FURIOUS 6

Director: Justin Lin
Cast: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Luke Evans
Genre: Action, Thriller
Run Time: 130 mins
Opens: 23 May 2013
Rating: PG13 (Violence And Some Coarse Language)

Back in 2001, was there anybody who thought that a movie that was essentially “Point Break with underground street racing” would spawn a franchise consisting of six films and counting? Probably not. The series veered dangerously close to direct-to-DVD territory with Tokyo Drift, but its director Justin Lin set things back on the highway with the fourth and fifth films, proving the Fast and Furious name had legs – or wheels, rather – yet. And if this sixth flick is any indication, there’s no putting on the brakes.

Following their Rio heist from the previous movie, the members of Dominic Toretto’s (Diesel) crew have settled into retirement. Brian O’Conner (Walker) and Dom’s sister Mia (Jordana Brewster) now have an infant son. Re-enter Diplomatic Security Service Agent Luke Hobbs (Johnson), who pursued the team through Fast Five, calling upon Toretto and his gang to assist in the takedown of a new threat. His name? Owen Shaw (Evans), leader of a dangerous crew who has struck and made away with advanced weapons technology. Dom’s former flame Letty (Rodriguez), who appeared to die in the fourth movie, has resurfaced as a member of Shaw’s criminal posse, and Dom is determined to win her back to the side of good. This synopsis probably should mention that there are a bunch of car chases in there too.

The Fast and Furious series has been given a remodel, evolving from being primarily about car culture to a more accessible globe-hopping action/heist type of film. It’s done the series a world of good, and Justin Lin and company have offered up a rather satisfying summer actioner in this latest installment. Sequels always have to up the ante, and sometimes it’s noticeable when said ante fails to be upped. Fast & Furious 6 does feature bigger set pieces and even more action than its predecessor, so while it isn’t particularly fresh or innovative, it gives the people what they want.

Audiences will benefit from having seen the earlier films, since there are more than a few continuity nods so one might end up feeling a mite lost. The kinship between the various members of Dom’s crew has become an important theme and something of a glue to hold all the car crashes and gunfire together. Hobbs is no longer hot on Dom’s tail and seems to have overcome his grudge on our heroes. Instead, the dramatic tension is provided by Letty’s reappearance. She’s conveniently stricken by that trope of “laser-guided amnesia”, so she works for the villain with no clue who Dom, Brian or anyone else from her ‘former life’ is. There’s a street race scene included as a nod to the franchise’s roots which also functions as a bonding moment for Dom and Letty; a nice way to tie it all together somewhat. The characters are sketched out just enough so we can root for them not to become smears on the asphalt.

But who are we kidding, audiences don’t go to a Fast and Furious flick for “dramatic tension”. They go for the thrills and the spills and thankfully, those are in abundance here. There’s a good mix of heavy duty vehicular warfare-type ‘car’-nage and hand-to-hand martial arts scraps, sometimes happening simultaneously. MMA fighter Gina Carano and Joe Taslim of The Raid: Redemption fame both get to strut their stuff in well-choreographed combat sequences. This also one of those few times you’ll get to see two women (Carano and Rodriguez) violently go at it in the Waterloo tube station completely sober.

The car chases that rip through the streets of London, a tank chase on an elevated Spanish highway and the climactic cargo plane escape on a military airstrip are all exciting and entertaining. There’s a tactility to these scenes such that the scrapes, crunches and impacts don’t feel too artificial. This isn’t one of those films that’s two hours of pixels clanging against pixels. Sure, the computer-generated effects are noticeable, but it’s nowhere as egregious as in 2 Fast 2 Furious. This is, however, one of those films where the laws of physics are but theories. Human bodies take improbable amounts of punishment, soaring or falling through the air to have falls broken by the metal roofs of cars and airstrip runways stretch into infinity – but one should be willing to suspend disbelief enough to get swept along for the ride.

Luke Evans’ Owen Shaw is your typical hard-edged ex-military type villain, whose leadership approach of viewing his team members (essentially dark mirror images of our heroes) as game pieces merely fulfilling their functions stands in contrast to how Dom sees his crew as family. There really isn’t much depth to the character and Evans is a rather bland actor, but it is nice to see our heroes go up against a villain who actually gets behind the wheel of a car which flips other cars off its front, since the baddies of the series so far have mostly been corrupt businessmen or drug kingpins. A stinger during the end credits offers a tantalizing look at who the villain for the inevitable Fast 7 will be.

The film’s attempts at humour are a mixed bag. While Tej (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges) listing Hobbs as “Samoan Thor” on his phone is pretty funny, a bit involving a snooty, oh-so-British fancy car salesman is on the indulgent side. Still, it’s nice to see the well-oiled machine comprised of Dom, Brian, Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej, Gisele (Gal Gadot) and Hobbs at it again.

SUMMARY: The family that outraces tanks and military cargo planes together stays together – while never truly inventive or astounding, it’s good smash-bang escapist fun. If you liked Fast Five, odds are Fast & Furious 6 will rev your engine too.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

For  F*** Magazine, Singapore

Movie Review                                                                                                                  26/3/13

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION

2013

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, DJ Cotrona, Adrianne Palicki, Jonathan Pryce, Bruce Willis

Directed by: Jon M. Chu

Don’t call them dolls. They may be made in China and primarily out of ABS plastic, but that won’t change the fact that G.I. Joes are real American heroes. For many, these action figures are articulated nostalgia incarnate, the cartoons and comics adding to the fond childhood memories. When that nostalgia was made flesh in 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, however, most fans weren’t pleased and there were the Razzie nominations to show for it. But that didn’t stop a sequel from being made.

                        At the end of the first film, it was revealed that the President of the United States (Pryce) had been replaced by the villainous impostor Zartan (Arnold Vosloo as his “default appearance”). In this one, the “President” orders that the G.I. Joes be wiped out. Roadblock (Johnson), Flint (Cotrona) and Lady Jaye (Palicki) manage to evade the attack, and must go about stopping the villainous machinations of Zartan’s superior, Cobra Commander (Luke Bracey, voiced by Robert Baker). Joining the three are silent ninja Snake Eyes (Ray Park), his apprentice Jinx (Elodie Yung) and the original G.I. Joe, General Joe Colton (Willis). Cobra forces, including saboteur Firefly (Ray Stevenson) and Snake Eyes’ archnemesis Storm Shadow (Lee Byung-hun) stand in their way.

            This movie was meant to be released in June 2012, but was delayed owing to a 3D post-conversion job and reshoots to increase Channing Tatum’s screen time. Toys had already hit the shelves and the film earned the distinction of being the only movie to have been advertised during two consecutive Super Bowls. The decision drew much flak and probably killed a fair amount of interest for the sequel.

            It’s a good thing then that this isn’t all that bad – in fact, it’s probably better than the first one. The film is not a straight-up sequel to the first, and while there are continuity nods and several returning characters, the style has shifted noticeably from plasticky, cartoony bombast to slightly more straight-faced action. Case in point: instead of a vast subterranean base beneath the Sahara desert, the Joes in this film operate from a derelict gym. That’s not to say Retaliation is less fun. And while this one is still silly, it’s not as aggressively so.

           
           Replacing Stephen Sommers in the director’s chair is Jon M. Chu, who is probably best known as “that guy who did the Justin Bieber movie”. Chu proves he can film action sequences as competently as he films dance numbers; the movie’s signature set piece in which Snake Eyes and Jinx infiltrate a Cobra stronghold high on a mountaintop and take on scores of redshirts on a cliff face is something to behold and is almost balletic. The film’s scripting duties are handled by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, best-known for penning the horror-comedy Zombieland. The duo lends the film a self-aware edge without it ever plunging into self-parody, which is a laudable balancing act.

            Let’s address the two reasons the movie was pushed back. First, the 3D. It’s a surprisingly decent conversion and though this reviewer experienced a little eyestrain, there’s a good feeling of depth and it does enliven the action sequences, the afore-mentioned cliff face skirmish in particular. Second, the Channing Tatum – he was a dull protagonist in the first film and rest assured, even with his additional scenes, he doesn’t play a huge role in this one and shares better chemistry with Dwayne Johnson than he did with Marlon Wayans (we’re glad Ripcord isn’t back for this one).

            Speaking of Dwayne Johnson, the guy fits into the G.I. Joe universe perfectly. He’s quite possibly the closest thing this generation has to the larger-than-life action hero likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jean-Claude Van Damme and with his bulging biceps and towering frame, looks right at home in a movie based on a line of toys. DJ Cotrona and Adrianne Palicki aren’t particularly interesting as Flint and Lady Jaye respectively (coincidentally, Cotrona was set to play Superman in the Justice League film that never happened and Adrianne Palicki played Wonder Woman in the TV pilot that wasn’t picked up) – but they put in serviceable supporting performances. If there's anyone who sticks out like a sore thumb, it's rapper RZA, who puts in an utterly cringe-worthy turn as the Blind Master. 

            Bruce Willis’ appearance as the retired general whose main “GI” of concern is likely to be his glycaemic index is pretty fun if not very consequential; it might be an even better nod to his iconic action hero status than his role in the Expendables films was. In the villain’s corner, former Bond adversary Jonathan Pryce is clearly enjoying himself in dual roles as Zartan-as-the-president and the actual president held captive by Cobra troops. A scene that sets up the film’s climax, in which the impostor President gathers the leaders of the world and threatens them with Cobra’s orbital weapons system Zeus, is decidedly Dr Strangelove-esque. Cobra Commander is not given a large role in the film, and while he doesn’t have Chris Latta’s shrill, raspy voice, his design is a nice homage to the cartoon. In addition, the ladies dragged along to see this can enjoy more Lee Byung-hun with his shirt off.

            Even though it’s less cartoony than its predecessor, Retaliation’s plot isn’t believable for a second – but the movie knows it’s a fun piece of escapist entertainment, and it can get away with the jingoism and a degree of ridiculousness by dint of being a G.I. Joe movie. As far as sequels based on Hasbro films go, you can rest assured that this isn’t the G.I. Joe equivalent of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. And that’s worth a hearty “hooah!” 

SUMMARY: Despite getting its release date pushed back, this sequel’s thrills and sheer escapist entertainment value, plus the fact that it’s not as dumb as the first go-round, make it worth getting excited about.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong 

Snitch

For F*** Magazine

SNITCH

Director: Ric Roman Waugh
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Jon Bernthal, Barry Pepper, Susan Sarandon
Genre: Action, Adventure
Run Time: 112 mins
Opens: 14 March 2013
Rating: NC16 (Some Drug Use)

We’ve heard it a million times: “kids, say no to drugs”. We’ve heard it from Sonic the Hedgehog, Pee Wee Herman, Batman and every pop culture figure in between. Now, hear it from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Whatever he’s cooking, you can be sure it isn’t meth.

Johnson plays John Matthews, the owner of a construction company whose estranged son Jason (Rafi Gavron) is facing a minimum of 10 years in prison for distribution of drugs. John has a new wife and a young daughter, but the incident makes him feel responsible for his lack of involvement in his son’s life. John appeals to Attorney Joanne Keeghan (Sarandon), running for Congress on an anti-drug platform, to help his son’s case. He learns that the only way the sentence can be reduced is if he can snitch on a drug-dealer and help the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) make an arrest – hence the title.



John enlists the help of one his employees, ex-convict Daniel James (Bernthal), to set him up with a dealer and infiltrate a drug ring. Daniel is understandably reluctant as is he drawn back into the world he tried so hard to escape. DEA Agent Cooper (Pepper) heads a task force to supervise John’s actions undercover, and soon John and Daniel find themselves in way over both their heads, and John is put the test as he jumps through hoops to help get his son free.

Snitch purports itself to be based on a true story, and the premise draws inspiration from revisions to the Federal Drug Policy of the US that rewarded those who would rat out their accomplices. What’s interesting is that this isn’t an anti-drug spiel, but rather a look at the impact US drug laws have on the hoi polloi, particularly first-time offenders who aren’t even hardened criminals or traffickers but get severe sentences nonetheless.

It’s a movie that does feel very noble in its ambitions and strives for an air of social responsibility, but audiences don’t go to the movies to be lectured. It’s marketed as an action film, but it doesn’t satisfy in that regard until the climactic semi-truck chase. Snitch is heavy on the drama, and it is a good thing that we get to see how the families of John and Daniel are impacted by the events of the film, but it often borders on the maudlin. It’s also not exciting escapism, when it may well have been better off as such.



The film rides on Dwayne Johnson’s broad shoulders, and it’s a good thing that he’s up to the task. Taking on this film seems like a wise career choice: it’s a way for the wrestler to earn more “serious acting” stripes, while still pulling action hero duty. It turns out that he can play “vulnerable” just as well as “tough” and “determined”. If the Rock is wigged out by the tough cartel guys, than us regular folk had better be as well. It’s not the kind of film that allows him to arch his People’s Eyebrow or flash a toothy grin, but maybe that’s just what he needs.

Jon Bernthal, best known as Shane Walsh on TV’s The Walking Dead, feels like more of an everyman than Johnson does and is not bad as his conflicted partner, primarily succeeding in making us feel as much for Daniel as for John. However, it’s Barry Pepper and Susan Sarandon who are the star supporting players. Pepper, sporting a Sons of Anarchy-esque beard, is barely recognisable and completely believable as a DEA Agent who has experienced life undercover embedded in drug cartels, and Sarandon comfortably inhabits her relatively small role as the politician who might be actually be helpful. Benjamin Bratt puts in an appearance as a big bad cartel kingpin, but doesn’t get enough screen time to offer up much more than usual stereotype.

Former stuntman Ric Roman Waugh directs the film competently, but can’t quite find his footing as the movie struggles to reconcile its “socially conscious drama” and “guns blazing action flick” sides. It is admirable that the movie aspires to be more than a run-of-the-mill actioner and it’s great to see Dwayne Johnson flexing his acting muscles in addition to his actual muscles, but it isn’t a fun time at the theatre, nor a particularly thought-provoking one.

SUMMARY: It’s neither a proper drama nor an actual action flick, but Snitch sees Dwayne Johnson come into his own as an actor, and deserves points for attempting to tackle a social issue from a new perspective.

RATING: 3 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong