As published in Issue #55 of F*** Magazine
Here it is: my 8100-word first-hand account of the major movie panels held in Hall H on Saturday. The other panels held in Hall H this day that are not covered in the following article are The Boxtrolls, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For and Entertainment Weekly's Women Who Kick Ass panel. The article runs long enough as it is and I might save The Boxtrolls and Sin City for closer to when the films are released. The Women Who Kick Ass panel featured actresses exclusively from television shows, and as cool as that panel was, I write for a movie magazine. Starting this article, I thought it would be a fairly quick affair, but with all the transcription involved, I ended up spending 12 straight hours on the first draft alone before getting on the plane. So, really appreciate your reading this article!
Text:
POSTCARDS FROM THE H [San Diego Exclusive]
F*** is at the epicentre of geekdom for Comic-Con’s biggest movie
panels.
By Jedd Jong 30/7/14
Photos by Jedd Jong
WARNER BROS. PICTURES
First up, Warner Bros. takes over
Hall H. “Warner Bros. likes to go big,” states Comic-Con programming director
Eddie Ibrahim. On cue, the curtains covering the walls on each side peel back,
revealing screens running the length of the massive walls. Moderator Chris
Hardwick, dressed as Marty McFly from Back
To The Future, runs onstage.
Director Zack Snyder is ushered out
by Hardwick. He says that announcing the movie at last year’s Comic-Con feels
like it happened “just yesterday” and explains that he has rushed to San Diego
after spending the night filming in Detroit. “I couldn’t be happier with the
way everything’s going, just super-amazing – the talent, the sets, the special
effects and everything is going amazingly well,” Snyder says enthusiastically.
Even though they are still deep in
production, Snyder introduces a “teeny little thing” with which to tease the
fans. The hall goes dark and the footage rolls. We find ourselves on a rooftop
in Gotham City as Batman, clad in heavy armour clearly based off the Dark Knight Returns graphic novel,
stands next to a shrouded Bat-signal. Batman yanks the tarp off and the
Bat-signal turns on, casting the stout Bat symbol into the cloudy sky. The
silhouette dissolves and out of nowhere, Superman appears, arms folded, looking
none too happy. His eyes glow red. Batman’s lenses glow blue. The screen goes
black and the crowd screams.
At Snyder’s behest, the World’s
Finest, Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck, arrive in Hall H to more deafening
cheers. They are immediately joined by the woman who makes the World’s Finest
the Trinity, Wonder Woman herself, Gal Gadot. The three stars smile and wave
but do not sit down or field questions for they would surely be swamped.
Unable to contain his own glee, Hardwick snaps a selfie with the Power Trio.
“We gotta go back and finish making the movie,” Snyder says as the teaser gets
an encore showing.
It is the first Comic-Con for
Miller, something of a legend for creating Max Rockatansky and the
post-apo-car-lyptic world he inhabits. The Australian director expresses how
overwhelming it is to go from growing up in a small rural town to presenting
his film in front of over 6,000 fans. To continue the numbers game, 3,500
storyboards were drawn for the movie which, being light on dialogue, was
meticulously plotted in visual form instead of being first written as a
screenplay. Miller describes it as one big, long chase and, like the trilogy
that came before it, a “Western on wheels” where there is no rule of law and no
honour.
“Who knew Mel Gibson would literally
turn into Mad Max at one point?” Hardwick asks to nervous laughter and oohs
from the crowd. After pausing nervously himself, Miller answers with an
explanation
that charismatic
actors, in addition to having a loveable and accessible side to themselves, also
often have an attractive element of danger, something Gibson possesses. Miller
asserts that the new Max Rockatansky – Tom Hardy – has got that in him too,
comparing watching Hardy at work to watching a “big, wild animal”. Vehicles
play a pivotal part in the world of Mad
Max – the two rules being that the vehicles couldn’t have advanced
electronics as a part of them and had to be robust enough to look like they
could weather an apocalypse and make it out the other side.
Following questions from the floor,
the teaser for Mad Max: Fury Road rolls
for the first time ever. “My name is Max – my world is fire and blood,” goes
the voiceover. A shot features coloured smoke explosions filling the dusty air,
gorgeously-filmed desolation on full display. Max is shown getting tortured,
his back painfully tattooed and his hair shorn off. Imperator Furiosa (Theron),
bald with one metal arm, liberates a group of slave women and sits at the wheel
of a giant oil tanker war rig. It’s Charlize Theron going the full Sigourney.
The clip ends with a snippet of a truly wild chase through a crimson sandstorm,
Max hanging on to the outside of a psychotic rogue’s car as his body is blasted
with particles. The footage ends, Miller mentions the rollicking score by
Junkie XL and Hardwick sings a line of Tina Turner’s We Don’t Need Another
Hero from Beyond Thunderdome.
Following a hysterical blooper
compilation from all the previous Hobbit
and Lord Of The Rings films, the cast
and film-makers take their seats at the long table on the Hall H stage.
Director Peter Jackson, co-writer Philippa Boyens, actors Benedict Cumberbatch,
Cate Blanchett, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Luke Evans, Lee Pace, Graham
McTavish, Elijah Wood and Andy Serkis all emerge to greet the fans who have
followed them there and back again. Colbert opens by sincerely thanking
Jackson; Jackson apologises on behalf of Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage and
Ian McKellen, who are absent due to commitments to theatre and film projects.
Jackson reveals that, in 1995, his
first pitch to Miramax was to make a Hobbit
film first and, if that was successful, to make two Lord Of The Rings movies. “Everything’s changed… it’s an
adventure,” Jackson says about the process.
Cumberbatch is asked to describe the
difference between Smaug and Sauron, both of which he portrays. “One’s a
dragon…” he begins to laughter. “And one’s an all-seeing non-corporeal entity
of evil.” When asked about the performance capture he did for Smaug,
Cumberbatch says it was much harder for the others acting against an imaginary
Smaug than it was for him in the studio. “I was just throwing myself around a
carpeted floor like a lunatic.”
Andy Serkis’ advice? “Just make sure
you don’t get carpet burns, really.”
“I’ve often thought that the entire
journey is seeking a female dwarf,” McTavish jokes. “It’s nice to be the only
representative of my race here today, I feel a little outnumbered by my elven
compatriots. It’s been an extraordinary experience being a dwarf when you’re 6’
3”.”
Cate Blanchett reveals we will see a
crack in Galadriel’s serene demeanour this time. “I lose my s***. Elven s***,”
the Oscar-winner says.
Colbert chimes in with “I’m sure it
sparkles.”
“She gets to kick Sauron’s arse a
little in this next film,” Jackson adds.
“I’ve noticed there is a difference
in class in Elvendom and Orlando, your father does not want you to date down,”
Colbert says regarding the Legolas/Tauriel romance.
Bloom says he and Wood were
seriously discussing taking up New Zealand citizenship, having been charmed and
moved by the real-life Middle Earth.
Colbert asks Wood if he has gone
back to read the books after making the films. “Truth be told, I haven’t,” he
says to gasps, 6,100 pairs of eyes admonishing him.
“Elijah, do you know how to read?”
Colbert deadpans.
Wood says he read The Hobbit as a child but was too
daunted to read the LOTR books. “I
felt like I was living it in such a profound way that I never really consulted
the books,” he rationalises.
Lilly says she treats the stories
with such reverence that, until today, she has refused to read the last 25
pages of Return Of The King because
“the story must go on.”
Then, the teaser trailer is
screened. “One day, they’ll remember everything that happened – the good, the
bad, those of who lived and those who did not,” goes Bilbo’s voiceover. The
haunting A Walking Song/The Edge of Night plays in the background as we
are greeted with stunning Peter Jackson vista after stunning Peter Jackson
vista.
“Will you have peace or war?!” Bard
the Bowman challenges.
“I will have war,” Thorin replies.
After the footage ends, Colbert
says, “Thank you for not giving away the part where the leader of the spy
network saves the day.”
When the discussion turns to props
and make-up, Lilly offers, “I know how sexy a big pointy ear can be.”
If you’ve always wanted to hear
Smaug say “button lady”, that’s what happened in Hall H when Cumberbatch
obliged a request during Q and A from a fan whose outfit was covered in
collectible LOTR and Hobbit buttons. She asks if Bard or
Legolas is the better archer.
“Both of these guys are really good
at archery in real life,” Lilly says. “They’re both thinking ‘How do I tell
them that I’m the best? This guy’s okay but I’m better!'”
Bloom throws down the gauntlet,
saying of Evans, “He’s got longer arrows and a bigger bow, but I’m the better
shot.”
Blanchett speaks about the lengths
Jackson, Boyens and Fran Walsh would go to in order to ensure their actors had
as clear an idea of their later-to-be-enhanced scenes as possible. “They’d show
you pictures, drawings, plates they’d already shot, the atmosphere you were
in.” As an actor whose background is in the theatre, Blanchett says the process
is akin to “doing Chekhov…with prosthetic ears”.
Another
member of the audience asks the cast where they would take their characters if
they came to Comic-Con. “Hall H,” Cumberbatch replies to cheers. “I don’t think
he could fit in here, it would be a bit of a squeeze.” This writer immediately
imagines a contented, geeky Smaug atop a massive pile of posters, comics, toys,
shirts and other assorted Comic-Con swag.
Serkis
breaks out his Gollum voice, which we all absolutely go nuts for. “Well, my
secret dream, precious/yes, what is it?/I would like to go backstage with
Stephen Col-bert and see what he’s
got inside his costume, precious!”
The panel concludes with the announcement of an
exclusive giveaway in which 75 fans will win a trip to New Zealand, courtesy of
Warner Bros. and Air New Zealand. 2 out of the 75 names are announced, the
overjoyed winners giddily running to the front of the hall to discuss their
holiday plans with a Warner Bros. representative.
Following Warner Bros. in Hall H is the studio
with whom they were formerly distribution partners. Legendary has moved on to
teaming up with Universal and is fresh off the monster hit Godzilla. Moderator Jessica Chobot introduces studio chief Thomas
Tull, who has Thunderstruck as his entrance theme. “Right here, several
years ago in Hall H, is where we kicked off the campaign to bring the King of
the Monsters, Godzilla, back.” Tull apologises on behalf of director Gareth
Edwards, who is “locked up in a galaxy far, far away” and thus cannot be at
Comic-Con. We do get a video message from Edwards, though.
In the footage, the director stands in front of
the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. “Due to the destruction caused by
Godzilla, Thomas has forced me to personally come up here to supervise the
rebuilding of the city,” he explains. Thanking the supporters at Comic-Con,
Edwards announces he will make a sequel, but not before taking “a break from all
the fanboy opinions” by doing a “small little sci-fi movie... I can officially
confirm the creatures that will feature in that movie will be –” The names are
bleeped out as the audience groans and chuckles. Fighter jets swoosh overhead
in San Francisco. “You’ve got to keep them on the island, I’m not rebuilding
this again, seriously!” Edwards says, exasperated. Edwards also appears annoyed
with his leading man – make that monster. “He roars and roars like he’s
something special, I’m like ‘Get over yourself, you’re not Bryan Cranston!’”
Let’s see Godzilla get more roles in Hollywood after that!
Tull announces that he has been able to “pry
some classified footage away from Monarch”. The footage reveals that other
threats have been discovered beyond Godzilla and the MUTOs. Blurry, grainy
shots of three monsters are shown. Their codenames: Rodan, Mothra and King
Ghidorah. Applause and cheers. The text “CONFLICT INEVITABLE” appears on the
screen, followed by “LET THEM FIGHT”.
Tull says that Legendary has been given
permission by the owners of Godzilla
to widen the playing field. “Toho’s been great to us and now we have more
monsters to play with,” he says, and ends with thanks to Comic-Con and a
promise of footage for next year’s panel.
Making his Comic-Con debut is renowned director
Michael Mann of The Last Of The Mohicans,
Thief, Heat and Collateral fame.
Lending some insight into his process, Mann says that he meets with
professional thieves and other real criminals for research excursions in order
to make his crime dramas as authentic as possible. Today, he’s here to talk
about his techno-thriller Blackhat,
starring Chris Hemsworth as an expert hacker coerced into helping the
government tackle a cyber-terror threat.
Having just returned from Indonesia and
Singapore, Mann wanted to make a film about cyber-crime set in Asia. At the
time the film was conceived, the Stuxnet worm crisis that sabotaged the Natanz
nuclear facility in Iran had just unfolded. The film was shot in Hong Kong,
Jakarta and Kuala Lumpur in addition to Los Angeles. Having spent time with
actual black-hat hackers, Mann says that, after 7-8 straight hours of coding,
they “zone into it” and the experience provides a “pleasurable, opiating
feedback loop”. It is escapism, but escapism that has impact in the physical
world.
Mann brings out a teaser trailer, the
first-ever look anyone has had at Blackhat.
A nuclear power plant meltdown caused by an attack on the computer
infrastructure is depicted. “This isn’t about money,” an ominous voiceover
intones. “This isn’t about politics. I can target anything, anyone, anywhere.”
The last resort for the government agencies investigating this crime is to
engage the services of black-hat hacker Nick Hathaway, serving time in federal
prison for committing four crimes and incurring $4,600 in damages. He asks to
have his sentence commuted.
“This isn’t a negotiation,” a fed tells him.
“I just made it one,” Hathaway fires back.
Hemsworth says that several films Mann has
directed rank among his favourites, and that “nobody does precision and detail
like him.” He also confesses that he was intimidated by Mann, but that he
admires the amount of research that goes into making his films. “We went to a
number of prisons to meet the criminals.” Mann outlines Hemsworth’s character
in the film as a blue-collar steel mill worker who is granted a scholarship to
MIT and falls into cyber-crime.
“We did 74 scenes in 4 countries in 66 days,”
Mann says of the hectic shooting schedule. He also describes his star as not
just a talented actor whose career is only just beginning, but “a terrific guy
and a real regular fella”.
We trek from the contemporary personal
cyber-security concerns of our times to the lush Victorian Gothic horror of Crimson Peak, which marks director
Guillermo del Toro’s return to a genre he has greatly impacted with his earlier
films. Del Toro is a Comic-Con favourite and was greeted with waves of
applause. Del Toro explains that, after the tough shooting experience on Mimic, he decided that his painterly
horror films would be reserved for his Spanish-language work and that he would
direct big popcorn blockbusters in English. However, that changed after Pacific Rim, when Legendary and
Universal told del Toro that he had the freedom to make an English-language
Gothic horror-romance the way he wanted.
“I must tell you girls, Tom Hiddleston, for me,
is the nicest f**king guy!” he says of Crimson Peak’s leading man to the
expected squeals. “It used to be that either you were nice [and ugly], or you
were good-looking and an a**hole… this guy ruins everything!”
The footage is gorgeous. It’s an over-used
adjective but it fits. Thomas Sharpe (Hiddleston), in voiceover, describes the
titular mansion as a living thing, with “timber for bones and windows for
eyes”. As the ghostly manifestations begin, the voice continues, “We hold on to
things – some are good, some are bad, some should never be spoken of again.”
Imagine American Horror Story but
through Guillermo del Toro’s eyes. Now, doesn’t that just sound like heaven for
fans of well-made horror that is as beautiful and seductive as it is truly
frightening?
“The colours are amazing!” Chobot exclaims. Del
Toro tells us that it was a labour of love building an entire three-storey-high
Victorian mansion from scratch on a soundstage, every last carving or relief
lovingly hand-crafted by artisan set-builders and decorators.
“We spent the better part of a year designing
the film and then built everything to the ultimate detail,” del Toro continues.
“I wanted the freedom to create a great adult story for a female lead.” This
pleases all the women in Hall H, as well as many men who have wanted to see
women in leading roles in genre films. Mia Wasikowska will be playing the
female lead, Edith Cushing. While there will be a romantic angle, del Toro
wants to “see her live past all that. Past getting the guy, okay? F*** that
s***!” He promises a romantic aspect but also a thriller one, beautiful moments
juxtaposed with “very brutal, very brutal” moments. “We have scary ghosts, but
even scarier people.”
“I know we don’t have time for Q&A, but I
love the f***ing Q&A,” del Toro says, turning to the audience, preparing to
ask two questions to the crowd gathered before him. “Here we go… I have two
things to ask from you and you need to react.”
“Number One: Hellboy 3?”
And react we do, for a good long while.
“At The
Mountains Of Madness?”
More reactions. Del Toro is known as much for
his imaginative movies as for constantly having too much on his plate and that
he is entertaining the thought of returning to these long-anticipated projects
sends Hall H into a frenzy.
So, how is Jones going to appeal to long-time
fans of the Blizzard games while making the film accessible enough for
neophytes? “A lot of films want to make origin stories but I think, in this
case, it really merits an origin story. We want to show how the world of
Azeroth falls into conflict between Orcs and humans.” Jones asserts that those
unfamiliar with the games will also be able to enjoy his Warcraft movie, pointing to Comic-Con as a great example of people
“getting into” new properties and series – and he’s seeking to make converts
out of filmgoers when Warcraft comes
out in March 2016. “There are a lot of people who haven’t played the game that
I think we can bring in through the film.”
Jones says he is happy that Blizzard
Entertainment, who has wanted a World Of
Warcraft film for the longest time, will be getting their wish and that he
is extremely lucky to be working with Legendary Pictures on the project. “We
were trying to bring the set-building and world-building of the Lord Of The Rings and the technology of Avatar,
and it really was like trying to make those two movies. It's a big project and
I think it deserves it and hopefully the final result will speak for itself.”
At last year’s Con, Jones brought a teaser
trailer prepared before any of the shooting even began. Now, two months after
principal photography has wrapped, he has more. The teaser trailer begins. That
signature fantasy movie “one-woman wail” is audible. “I spent more time
protecting my king than my own son,” a grizzled voice says in the voiceover as
we see typical fantasy movie spectacle (knights, armour, horses, magic etc).
“Does that make me loyal, or a fool? I’ve led thousands of warriors into battle
and I fear being a father,” he continues. “Does that make me a leader, or a
coward?” As we glimpse some of the epic battle scenes, the voice concludes. “Is
war the only way?”
The panel concludes with Thomas Tull returning
to the stage, thanking the fans present. “You’re here, which is why we bring
special stuff here.” He has something to add: “My Mexican brother Guillermo
posed a question, and the only thing I can say is ‘When you’re done with Pac
Rim 2, we’ll talk’.” Thrilled that Hellboy
3 and At The Mountains Of Madness
might be on the horizon, no matter how distant said horizon might be, the hall
falls silent. No, of course we didn’t!
That would’ve been plenty from the studio, but
Tull has one last trick up his sleeve, something the studio has been “tinkering
around” with. Without any other introduction, the footage rolls. The camera
sweeps across a tumultuous tossing sea, a storm raging. “The long stretches of
the waterway ran out, cut off forever from everything you had known,” goes a
weary voiceover. “It was like travelling back to the earliest beginnings of the
world.” A misty island is revealed and the camera makes landfall. “When
vegetation writhed throughout the earth, the big trees were kings.” In the
jungle, a sea monster swims through a lake and monkeys swing through the
treetops. Everyone in the room is working at figuring out just what this is. “Its
very existence was improbable,” the voice continues. We see a craggy cliff face
resembling a giant skull. “Being alone in the wilderness, we had gone mad… we
penetrated deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness.” The camera stops at a
range of trees, rustling with loud thumping in the background, something
getting closer and closer. An unmistakable giant gorilla bursts through the
canopy, thumping his chest. The title card – “LEGENDARY’S SKULL ISLAND”.
Now, the possibility of King Kong and Godzilla having a rematch just seems that
much more within reach.
MARVEL STUDIOS
The last movie-related panel for the day before
a TV showcase later that night is undoubtedly the one for which many waiting in
line overnight were the most excited. After all, at last year’s Marvel Studios
panel, Tom Hiddleston stormed the stage in full Loki regalia, basking in the
adoration of his Hall H “army”. The panel is running 15 minutes late and we are
antsy.
Before anything happens though, a supercut
assembled especially for Hall H plays, taking a fond look back at all the
Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. Fans cheer when they see their favourite
heroes on screen. Everyone gets a squeal – Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, the
Incredible Hulk, Nick Fury, Black Widow, Loki… even Hawkeye. It’s capped off
with snippets from Guardians Of The Galaxy, at the time of writing mere
days away from its worldwide release. It’s just mind-boggling to think how far
the studio has come, and how quickly they’ve been able to do so. Exciting times!
Hardwick returns to the stage and promises that
the hour or so ahead will be “well worth the wait”.
He brings out Marvel Studios head honcho Kevin
Feige, hyping Guardians of the Galaxy,
the studio's tenth film. “It always starts with you guys in this room,” Feige
says, as the audience lets him know we appreciate his acknowledgement. Feige
says he loves the notion that movie-goers are just as excited for the sequels as
they are for all-new Marvel movies. Releasing one sequel and one new movie each
year seems to be the plan going forward. “What we’re talking about today is
2015. We’re doing a very similar thing, we have a movie called Avengers: Age
Of Ultron coming out and then we have something new – Ant-Man is
finally coming out. You want to meet some people involved in Ant-Man?”
Of course we do, particularly since the troubled production (original director
Edgar Wright was controversially let go) has led fans to require some
reassurance.
Replacement director Peyton Reed and stars Paul
Rudd, Michael Douglas, Corey Stoll and Evangeline Lilly walk onstage to massive
applause. Lilly’s appearance at the panel confirms long-swirling rumours that
she will play Hope Van Dyne, the daughter of Hank Pym. In an attempt to quell
fears that Reed is not the right director for the job, Hardwick asks him how
many years he’s been attending Comic-Con. Reed replies that this is his 20th
time at the convention. He also reveals that, when he was a drummer for his
punk band Johnny Quest back in the day, one of the fliers he had drawn to
promote the band was an homage to the cover of Avengers #1 – and it turns out that Reed had drawn himself, flying
on tiny drums, as Ant-Man.
It is the first Comic-Con for both Ant-Men, the
discussion turning to Comic-Con virginity (this writer would say ‘Oh the
irony’, but that would be hypocritical) and “popping cherries”. “I am popping
my Comic-Con cherry and it is as advertised,” Rudd says.
“I’ve popped enough cherries,” Douglas adds,
playing up his reputation as a bit of a Lothario.
“Don’t think I don’t want to just talk about
that for the next hour,” cracks Hardwick.
“It’s a mind-bender, it’s so exciting… it’s
kind of tough to wrap my brain around. I’ve been doing this as a job for a
while but this is a whole other thing! I’m excited by the challenges and I’m
looking forward to working with great people and seeing how it all is,” Rudd
says.
“I’ve always looked at Marvel movies from afar
with tremendous envy,” Douglas says, explaining that, as he has not done many
films with a touch of the fantastical in them, he was excited to be a part of a
sci-fi action comedy like Ant-Man.
Douglas sums up the premise, describing his character Dr. Hank Pym, an
entomologist and metallurgist (he struggles with the word) who has developed a
serum with which to shrink a human being to the size of an ant, while retaining
the strength of a regular-sized person. The goal is also to communicate with
ants. Pym’s partner, played by Corey Stoll, has taken the company “in a
different, evil direction” and Pym has found a protégé in Paul Rudd’s Scott
Lang. He mentions the incredible shape Rudd is in, to a few squeals.
“We’re the first Marvel movie that’s spending a
lot of money on CGI to remove
muscles,” Reed jokes.
“My experience so far has been evading
questions about Ant-Man,” Lilly says,
happy to be able to break her silence on her involvement in the film. Lilly has
had a hectic last six months, between being a mother, producing her children’s
book series and working on the Hobbit
films. She reveals that she actually has taken up meditative breathing just so
she can go to sleep. “I’m having a great time! Con is kind of my world; it kind
of seems that everything I’ve done on the screen, you guys are in the fray,”
she tells the fans. She remembers being in Hall H to screen footage from Lost,
a television series that hadn’t even begun airing. “Much love to all of you, my
people!” she says, returning the adulation.
On how the cast must stay mum about details of
the film until Comic-Con, Hardwick says, “So Comic-Con must be an incredible
release for you.”
“Popping cherries, release, this is a family
panel!” Rudd protests.
“That’s how families get made!” Hardwick fires
back to laughter.
They’ve not even started principal photography,
which is still 2 weeks away. “We haven’t started filming the movie yet, but we
filmed a little something…” Feige says.
The footage begins; we move through Hank Pym’s lab, hearing his voice
and Scott Lang’s but not seeing anybody. Lang protests to Pym that he is not a
superhero.
“Which means that you’re not an egomaniac and
you’re not an undisciplined moron!” Dr. Pym snaps back. “Causing more
destruction than he stops. Superheroes? What a goddamn joke. You, you’re
different. You’re doing this because it’s the right thing to do.” Scott voices
his doubts. “Jesus Christ! I think somebody already shrunk your balls!” Pym
says bluntly. “Don’t worry, Scott. It’s a small
job.”
We then cut to a rooftop where a shrunken-down
Lang in his Ant-Man costume is running to the ledge of the building, either in
pursuit or being pursued. He struggles to mount his steed – an actual wasp. The
helmet is not working and thus is not communicating his thoughts to the wasp
effectively. He leaps and catches the wasp as it flies away, pulling himself
onto its back. “It’s okay, I got this,” he says as the footage ends.
No offence to Ant-Man, but the Marvel flick everyone is here for
is Avengers: Age Of Ultron. Feige
apologises on Joss Whedon’s behalf; the writer-director of the giant sequel
cannot be at the Con because he is laid up in hospital in London, following
serious knee surgery. Feige asks that we offer our well wishes over Twitter.
“Look at the photos he’s put up, it’s very pathetic, it’s very sad,” he says.
“But, we do have some other people.” Now, that’s under-selling done right.
Michael Jackson’s Don’t Stop 'Til You Get Enough plays as the entrance theme for our Avengers (and their adversaries). The first to stride onto the Hall H stage is Robert Downey Jr., dressed as Tony Stark and carrying a metallic briefcase. He opens it up, it is filled with roses which he tosses into the audience, after which he does a big dramatic bow. Jeremy Renner, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Cobie Smulders, Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Evans, Paul Bettany and new additions James Spader, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen walk out, an epic gathering of heroes and villains and those in-between if ever there was one.
“This is good, this is what’s supposed to
happen,” Hardwick says, giving voice to all our thoughts.
“It just keeps getting better,” Downey Jr.
says. “This is the longest bench of talent I’ve ever been a part of and we’ve
got a real nice movie for you guys next year.” On Iron Man’s role in the
continuing Marvel saga, Downey Jr. Says, “I’ve become a little less significant
each time, which is just fine because they’re all so damn good!”
“It’s always thrilling, man… glad to be here,
very honoured,” says Renner. “Meeting this guy over here,” Renner says pointing
to Downey Jr., “He’s the one who convinced me and washed my car in a thong… I
have pictures, I’m Instagramming that s***.” Renner says that, while he never
imagined he’d play a superhero, he could not be more grateful for it.
Hardwick says that, when Ruffalo first made a
Comic-Con appearance for the first Avengers
film, he was bewildered by how the crazy Con machine works but it appears that,
since then, he has truly embraced his role as the not-so-jolly Green Giant and
that Green Giant’s fans. “They don’t treat me like this at home, that’s for
sure,” he chuckles. This causes the audience to whoop and cheer for him even
more. “That’s really nice…” he says.
The crowd chants “Hulk, Hulk, Hulk!”
“No, don’t get him excited, that’s when it gets bad!” Hardwick warns. “Keep his pulse rate down!”
On gaining recognition since becoming an
Avenger, Ruffalo says, “People don’t even know who I am other than Hulk.” When
people on the street shout “Hulk, Hulk!” at him, he says his response is to say
“The name’s Banner”.
“You are in exceptionally good shape,” Hardwick
says, in awe of Chris Hemsworth’s physique. “That arm is the size of my
torso!” The girls squeal. “What has Thor
meant to you all this time?” Hardwick asks.
“Best experience that I’ve had on the set, off
the set, to work with this group of people to bring this character to life and
to be part of this madness…” On the subject of what he would like to do as Thor
that the character hasn’t had a chance to do yet in the films, Hemsworth says,
without missing a beat, “turning into a woman”, in reference to the recent
explosive announcement that the new Thor in the comics will indeed be female.
“I don’t want to speak too early and jinx it, but I think it could be my
Oscar,” he says.
“Naw, he’s
got that purdy girl hair, he’s gonna be fine,” drawls Hardwick.
Smulders says it was fun getting to do a signing and connecting with fans, if only for a moment. Did she think Maria Hill would recur in this world as often as she does? “I had hoped! Joss is the one who brought me into this world, we just keep going on films and on TV and I’m so grateful,” she says, hinting that we might just see more of ex-Agent Hill in the new season of Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.
On the
eye-patch messing with his depth perception, Jackson says, “I was smart enough
to figure that out… I’ve got that down pat, cancel the insurance!” Speaking
about the reception he always receives at the Con, Jackson says “Comic-Con is
phenomenal, it’s totally amazing... I’ve been coming here since Episode I of Star Wars. Seems like every year I come here and feel like I
belong, I get validated with all the love and energy from you guys and it just
makes me feel like doing more! We make the movies because we want to entertain
you guys and I make movies because I want to see myself in them!”
Aaron
Taylor-Johnson finds being a part of the established Marvel Cinematic Universe
“overwhelming and surreal”, and is grateful to have been chosen by Whedon for
the part. “What Joss did in the first one seemed like a mission completely
impossible to do, that everyone had their moment… he has that tone when you can
have a journey, be emotional and sad at moments and be light-hearted and
action-packed.” He notes that he thoroughly enjoys working on Marvel movies –
and that there will presumably be many more to come.
In
Avengers: Age of Ultron, Paul Bettany steps out of the recording booth to
play Vision. “They’re making me work for my money,” he jokes. “I used to turn
up for 45 minutes in a dark room and get a bag of cash. Now I have to work.” He
says that his kids are absolutely excited, and that, prior to his playing
Vision, “they had no interest in what I did”. He is pretty impressed that his
children were able to keep his casting as Vision secret for a year and a half.
“That you
know of,” Hardwick adds.
The big bad
of the piece, Ultron himself a.k.a. James Spader, has done Comic-Con last year
for the TV series The Blacklist. “I’ve
always thought my whole life that life could never get weird or crazy enough
for me and I’ve got to tell you one thing – this place may be the craziest,
weirdest place!”
“You should
now pat yourselves on the back everyone, that you are part of James Spader’s
weird fever dreams,” Hardwick jokes.
“I’m
playing an 8-foot robot in this movie,” Spader says about Ultron. “I’ve always
played humans and shooting this film was as startling and surprising and
challenging and exciting as coming here, truthfully, for the first time. Doing
this film, everything was so entirely
new”. He sums up his experience as just “unimaginably exciting”.
Elizabeth
Olsen is last but certainly not least to speak on the panel. “What a list of
people to follow, it doesn’t feel that great,” she says. Though she was at
first intimidated by her potential colleagues, she says everyone was very
welcoming. “It’s fun to bring a new element to the game, there’s now magic,
there’s mutant – mutated people…”
Oops! The
6,100-strong crowd certainly caught that slip-up. Let’s hope nobody from Fox is
at the panel!
“I think it
ends up adding something kind of epic to the fights,” Olsen says of the
introduction of magic into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “I practise daily
just staring at a pencil and trying to get it to move,” she jokes. “You should
see it, it’s like flying, I’m nailing it!”
At this
point, Robert Downey Jr. chimes in. “She actually cast a spell on me two weeks
ago and hopefully before this is all done, she’ll relieve me. It burns!” The
audience gives that kind of laugh you give when you hear a dirty joke. “It
could mean anything!” Downey Jr. puts his hands up in the air mock-defensively.
Due to her pregnancy, Scarlett Johansson can’t
be here, but sends a video message. “Hey guys, I don’t mean to cramp your style
but we’re kind of running out of time here. Hey Kev, you wanna be a doll and
roll us that video footage?”
Oh yes. The first look at Avengers: Age Of Ultron.
We open during a party at Avengers tower. Thor
puts Mjolnir down on the coffee table. Clint Barton is dismissive of the notion
that only Thor can lift the hammer. “Whatever, man, it’s a circus sideshow, a
party trick.” This leads everyone to try their hand. Tony Stark goes first.
“If I lift it, do I get to rule Asgard?” he
asks. Thor says yes. When Tony is unsuccessful, he enlists the help of James
Rhodes – both now wearing their armoured power gauntlets. Still no luck. Even
Cap can’t manage.
Thor asks if Natasha would like to try. She
declines, saying, “That’s not a question you want answered.”
Tony postulates that it’s some kind of
biometric identification system. “Whosoever carries Thor’s fingerprints is, I
think, the literal translation?”
Thor has a simpler answer: “You’re not worthy.”
It’s all fun and games until Ultron crashes the
party. “How could you be worthy?” the robot asks in a menacing metallic voice.
“You’re all killers. You want to protect the world but you don’t want to
change. There’s only one path to peace – extinction.”
We then segue into the teaser trailer. “I had a
vision,” Ultron says in voiceover. “The whole world screaming for mercy.” We
see scenes of the expected superhero mayhem, the highlight of which is a clash
between the Hulk and Iron Man in his robust Hulkbuster armour. We also glimpse
Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch’s powers in action as a chillingly creepy remix
of I’ve Got No Strings from Pinocchio
plays in the background. Another key visual is Captain America’s shield,
shattered.
“It’s the end,” Tony says. “The end of the path
I started us on.”
“Nothing lasts forever,” Natasha agrees.
At the end of the trailer, Ultron intones,
“There are no strings on me.”
Gepetto sure had it easier than Tony Stark.
Hardwick wonders aloud how Marvel will top
Ultron in the bad guy stakes.
On cue, Josh Brolin, his left hand covered in a
toy Infinity Gauntlet, emerges, jumping on the table and punching the air with
his bejewelled fist. Brolin will provide the voice and performance capture for
the dastardly intergalactic warlord Thanos, who will appear in Guardians Of The Galaxy before he ever
tangles with the Avengers. “Where’s my rose?!” Brolin demands. As RDJ hands him
one, Brolin stuffs it into his mouth, sending petals flying.
We’re already all giddy, but there’s one last
thing: a video message from Chris Pratt and James Gunn, star and director
respectively of Guardians Of The Galaxy.
The conceit of this clip is that they aren’t aware that the camera is already
rolling and are discussing what they should say to the Hall H audience. Gunn
broaches the subject of announcing a sequel. “Too bad we don’t have the balls,”
he sighs as the screen cuts to the GotG logo. Over the top is scrawled,
chalk-like, the number “2”. Beneath it is the release date – July 28 2017.
Early word of mouth for Guardians has
been overwhelmingly positive, so it is no surprise a sequel would be coming –
though the way in which it is announced is certainly amusing.
And that’s our day in Hall H. We hope that
through these 8000+ words, it feels like you, dear reader, were there too.
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