Zoolander 2

For F*** Magazine

ZOOLANDER 2

Director : Ben Stiller
Cast : Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Penélope Cruz, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, Cyrus Arnold, Sting, Christine Taylor, Olivia Munn, Benedict Cumberbatch, Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Billy Zane
Genre : Comedy
Run Time : 102 mins
Opens : 3 March 2016
Rating : NC16 (Sexual References)

It’s been 15 years since we last saw Derek Zoolander (Stiller) strut his male supermodel stuff. Does that Blue Steel still offer the same structural support? Personal tragedy has driven Zoolander into hiding. A terrible accident that claimed the life of Zoolander’s wife Matilda (Taylor) also damaged the face of Zoolander’s friend and fellow model Hansel McDonald (Wilson), additionally damaging the pair’s friendship. Interpol Fashion agent Valencia Valentina (Cruz) is investigating a string of assassinations in which the pop star victims snap pre-death selfies that match Zoolander’s trademark “Blue Steel” expression. In Rome, she ropes in Derek and Hansel to assist her. The duo is in Italy as the guests of avant garde designer Alexanya Atoz (Wiig) and are hoping to make a comeback on the runway. Zoolander discovers that his estranged son Derek Jr. (Arnold), residing at an orphanage in Rome, is the target of an ancient conspiracy and that Zoolander’s long-time nemesis Jacobim Mugatu (Ferrell), now locked away in maximum security fashion prison, has a hand in this evil plot.

            2001’s Zoolander has attained semi-cult status in that it’s too widely known among mainstream filmgoers to be an actual cult movie, but is still sufficiently oddball in its sensibilities. People still quote the catchphrases and attempt the Blue Steel pout. There has been demand for a sequel, but not “tear down the studio gates” levels of demand. As unlikely a comparison it may be, Zoolander 2 reminds this reviewer of 300: Rise of an Empire and Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. To put things in perspective, the DVD of Zoolander has Stiller in character narrating how an interactive DVD menu works. With Zoolander 2, it’s more of the same, but ends up being too little too late. Most involved seem to be committed to the silliness, but the vibe that Stiller has switched on “autopilot” mode is hard to shake. It turns out that the flashy production values and a veritable conga line of celebrities making guest appearances serve to distract from the lack of any real invention or comic energy, which is a little sad to realise.

            We have nothing against stupidity in general and if a comedy wants to go all-out, full-tilt dumb in the name of entertainment, we’re all for it. However, it’s been repeatedly proven that one gets more mileage with wit, rather than witlessness, as fuel in the comedy gas tank. Zoolander 2 is not completely unfunny and there are attempts, however half-hearted, at satire – a “completely biodegradable” boutique hotel boasting “farm to table wi-fi” pokes fun at hipster sensibilities. Benedict Cumberbatch’s cameo as the androgynous, unclassifiable modelling sensation known as “All” dares to step on a few toes and laugh in the face of political correctness, but it lacks the same impact that Robert Downey Jr. in blackface had in Stiller’s Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder had something to say about Hollywood’s excesses while being outrageous and funny. With Zoolander 2, it seems like “when unable to write joke, default to cameo” was the mandate carved on the production office wall.

            Director/star/co-writer/co-producer Stiller has repeatedly made us wonder “is it still a vanity project if the person whose vanity it serves repeatedly makes a fool of himself?” Short answer: yes. Those who were charmed by Zoolander’s profound lack of intelligence the first go-round will likely be fine with Stiller’s reprisal of the role, seeing how he snaps back into it with such ease. Wilson’s performance lacks energy, but perhaps that can be explained away as Hansel’s more laid-back demeanour. The Oscar-winning Cruz is not exactly known for her slapstick comedy chops, but she gamely tackles the part of the eye candy cop on a mission, displaying sexy confidence in spades as she embraces the silliness. Ferrell has to share scenery-chewing duties with Wiig, who devises an unintelligible, non-specifically European accent for her character.

            If you’re up for a game of “name the cameo” with a group of pals, Zoolander 2 will be a rewarding experience. Otherwise, it’s close enough to the original but too engineered and lacking in spontaneity to reach any heights of humour. When the jokes (zoo)land, they land, but when they don’t, they flop out of the screen with a deafening, awkward thud. This time, the Magnum’s chamber is half empty, and a couple of the remaining rounds are blanks. Still, when it comes to comedies running on unadulterated stupidity, we’ll take this over those painful Friedberg and Seltzer ‘parody’ movies (Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie et al) any day of the week.

Summary: If it’s wanton shenanigans and famous faces you’re after, Zoolander 2 has got you covered. But when it comes to actually inspired humour, this sequel comes up disappointingly short.

RATING: 2.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong

           

Justin Bieber: Movie Star?

JUSTIN BIEBER: MOVIE STAR?

Princeling of Pop has his sights set on Hollywood

By Jedd Jong 20/4/11

We had gathered for a press conference scheduled for 5 P.M. By 5.45, the shutter fingers were getting itchy and there was a professional restlessness in the room. And then, the reason for all this attention and commotion strolled in, huddled by minders and scary-looking bouncer-type bodyguards.

This “reason” looked as normal as a 17-year-old kid could get, barring the giant aviator shades. Black shirt, black Bermudas, green sneakers – the picture of normalcy. Deejays Shan and Rozz of 987 fm did emcee duty, but all eyes were on the feather-haired heir of pop.

It was a little like getting on a ride at Disneyland – three hours in the queue for three minutes worth of excitement. But hey – it’s Justin Bieber, and you don’t get any more exciting than that.

Bieber got down to business: the first question he answered was about him allegedly spurning fans who had camped out at Changi Airport anticipating his arrival, while he quietly sneaked out the back. “Security reasons” was what he cited. “I’m getting better (at handling the celebrity) and am taking it one day at a time”, Bieber said. Every aspect of this kid’s life had become infested with attention, both good and bad, and it was remarkable how well he kept this balance.

What’s next for the boy who has everything? The answer straight from the horse’s (or pony’s) mouth – movies. “I’m trying to explore movies and stuff like that…hopefully do a movie soon.” So far, Justin’s filmography includes two episodes of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (in which he played a psychotic teenage anarchist) and his concert movie, Never Say Never.

But what Justin wants is a script. “They just followed me around with a camera”, he says of the 3D documentary. When asked which actress he’d like to star opposite, if given free reign, Bieber offers excitedly “Jessica Alba!” And we can’t blame him.

And just like that, “12 minutes with Justin” was over. But Bieber’s “15 minutes” – those definitely aren’t. 

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JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER

2011 Release

Starring: Justin Bieber, Scooter Braun, Miley Cyrus, Jaden Smith

Directed by: Jon Chu

            They said he’d never make it. I said I’d never watch it. Yet here we are, and here Bieber is at the height of his popularity. Director Jon Chu, famous for the Stomp the Yard films, has crafted a heady and exciting hybrid of the concert movie and the documentary: 2D footage of interviews and candid captures of Bieber’s life interspersed with 3D videos of his sell-out performance at Madison Square Garden.

            Like it or not, this could well be the definitive concert film of our generation. This pretty much epitomises a good time at the movies, and is a great deal of fun to watch. Never Say Never peels back the candy wrapper and reveals a squeaky-clean Christian boy raised by a single mum, along with his tight inner circle. 

            Director Chu smartly addresses some of the hate hurled at Bieber, and the film has its tongue in its cheek at all the right moments. For example, Jaden Smith, son of Will and who had a rap duet with Justin on the titular song, is listed as a “karate expert”. Instead of taking Bieber-detractors head on, the film throws them a bone and could even convert them into Beliebers. 

            The film is as much a behind-the-scenes peek as it is a concert movie. Bieber is shown at his “realest”, and we glimpse how the 17-year-old, with the help of his mother, manager, vocal coach, head of security and others in his entourage, keeps a good head on his shoulders. This is juxtaposed with immersive 3D concert footage packed with gimmicky but effective camera tricks, including confetti rain and lots of the Biebs reaching out into the audience. 

            Expertly and slickly edited but somehow always sufficiently emotional and even inspirational, Never Say Never is a howling good time, and many will find themselves enjoying it in spite of themselves.

SUMMARY: A surprisingly fun concert film cleverly spliced with interviews and behind-the-scenes footage, Never Say Never is an insightful and enjoyable look behind the phenomenon that is Justin Bieber.

RATING: 3.5/5 STARS