Walking With Dinosaurs: The 3D Movie

For F*** Magazine

WALKING WITH DINOSAURS: THE 3D MOVIE

Director: Neil Nightingale, Barry Cook
Cast:         John Leguizamo, Justin Long, Tiya Sircar, Skyler Stone, Charlie Rowe, Angourie Rice, Michael Leone, Karl Urban
Genre: Animation, Adventure
Run Time: 88 mins
Opens: 19 December 2013
Rating: PG

In 1999, Tim Haines created the six-part miniseries Walking with Dinosaurs for the BBC. It was a revolutionary production, approaching a dinosaur-oriented TV show from the angle of a natural history documentary. This meant omitting the “talking heads” and treating creatures like the Coelophysis, Diplodocus, Liopleurodon and Tyrannosaurus as if they were naturally-occurring lions, rhinoceros or meerkats. It has since spawned many spin-offs and unrelated shows following in its colossal footsteps. Now, the beasts walk onto the big screen in this feature-length 3D outing.

Set around 70 million years ago during the late Cretacbeous Period, an Alexornis bird named Alex (Leguizamo) tells the story of his friend, Patchi the Pachyrhinosaurus (Long). Patchi is the runt of the litter, spending most of his childhood getting shoved about by his older siblings. He has a run-in with a pack of toothy Troodons, resulting in him gaining a distinctive hole in his crest that never fully heals. Patchi has an intense rivalry with his rather unpleasant older brother Scowler (Stone) and develops a crush on Juniper (Sircar), though he can’t work up the courage to tell the female how he feels about her. The Pachyrhinosaurus herd embarks on a migratory odyssey, the obstacles in the way including forest fires, iced-over lakes and the frightening predatory Gorgosaurs.



Many of us had a “dinosaur phase” as kids and while the film is clearly aimed at the pre-teen-and-younger set, the opening framing device in which an uninterested teenager (Rowe) reluctantly tags along with his uncle (Urban) and sister (Rice) to go on a dinosaur dig appeals to the older members of the audience to open up to the wonderment. Said framing device proves largely unnecessary, but the rest of the film is well-constructed and makes for an effectively sweeping adventure. The trailer caused some concern among fans of the original series that it had become “Talking with Dinosaurs”. Technically, the dinosaurs aren’t talking per se, with the voice actors providing voiceovers and expressing what the animals would have said if they could talk.



Walking with Dinosaurs 3D was filmed on location in the wilds of Alaska and New Zealand, with all of the animals created using computer-generated imagery. There’s a bit of a pedigree behind the scenes, the 3D technology furnished by James Cameron’s Cameron Pace Group and the character animation done by Animal Logic, the studio behind the likes of Happy Feet and The Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole. It is a good-looking movie, the movements and interactions of the creatures sufficiently convincing if not 100% photo-realistic. The iridescent blue scales of the Gorgosaurs and the red and yellow feathers of the Troodon are particularly striking touches of colour. Stereoscopy is put to good use, the environments fairly immersive and particulate matter like ash, smoke and snow floating off the screen. We also get novel moments like a pterosaur’s slender beak poking out of the screen and these never get intrusive.



Surprisingly enough, the screenplay by John Collee with additional dialogue by Gerry Swallow is witty and lively, the film establishing a non-threatening light-hearted mood yet handling the detours into moments of drama and peril with a sure hand. Alex is a one-bird Greek chorus, a comic relief sidekick, narrator and provider of colour commentary all in one. He even breaks the fourth wall on occasion, rewinding the film to revisit a funny moment. The character has the full potential to be fingernails-on-the-blackboard unbearable, but John Leguizamo gives the “early bird” so much personality with his vocal performance that it works. Also, look out for the trio of pterosaurs who provide some inspired physical comedy.



Patchi is a protagonist we’ve seen many times before, his underdog status, the Cain-and-Abel struggle with Scowler and the romantic comedy-esque “meet cute” with his sweetheart Juniper all well-worn tropes. However, the combination of the high-quality animation and Justin Long’s voice work make it very easy to root for Patchi and to get invested in his journey. Yes, there are moments of silliness and scatological humour but we certainly didn’t expect to be able to go along with the movie as easily as we did. Also, Karl Urban as a palaeontologist makes him a literal Dr. Bones. Heh.



Jerry Seinfeld once said “there’s no such thing as fun for the whole family”, but perhaps Walking with Dinosaurs 3D comes pretty close. It’s never boring and it isn’t cringe-inducingly juvenile. Yes, it does have shades of The Land Before Time and Disney’s Dinosaur, but it fuses just enough educational content with exciting, eye-catching imagery. At one moment, the action pauses so Alex can present an infographic in which he describes the vital statistics of the Gorgosaurus to the audience, but he can’t take it seriously because he fixates on the otherwise-fearsome dinosaur’s comically miniature arms. For a serving of light thrills, 3D novelty, a good number of laughs, a tug or two at the old heartstrings and a side of paleontological knowledge, take the tykes on this walk.

SUMMARY: Eschewing the documentary format for an adventure-driven narrative, Walking with Dinosaurs 3D isn’t an earth-shatteringly original spectacle but it is a harmless, enjoyable 87 minutes at the movies.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Jedd Jong

Riddick

For F*** Magazine

RIDDICK

Director: David Twohy
Cast: Vin Diesel, Karl Urban, Jordi Molla, Matt Nable, Katee Sackhoff, Bokeem Woodbine, Dave Bautista, Conrad Pla, Raoul Trujillo, Nolan Funk, Keri Hilson
Genre: Action, Sci-Fi
Run Time: 119 mins

2000’s Pitch Black granted Mark Sinclair, better known as Vin Diesel, his breakout role of Richard B. Riddick. Audiences were very much taken by the tough, shiny-eyed anti-hero. Nine years after the less warmly-received sequel The Chronicles of Riddick, the last Furyan has returned – and what a hearty “welcome back” this one is.

The second film ended with Riddick being crowned Lord Marshall of the Necromongers, but it’s a given that such good fortune wasn’t going to last. Riddick is betrayed by the Necromongers under his command and gets unceremoniously dumped on a wasteland of a planet. Riddick battles the elements and some unfriendly local fauna as two rival mercenary posses arrive to collect the bounty on his head. One is led by the swaggering Santana (Mollà), and the other by Boss Johns (Nable), who has a bone to pick with Riddick after the events of the first film led to a personal tragedy for him. Riddick plots to play both gangs against each other, so he can eventually escape in one of their ships – but the bounty hunters don’t intend on making it easy for him.



Talk of a third Riddick movie has swirled for years, and it must be very gratifying for star-producer Diesel and writer-director Twohy, who also helmed the first two movies, to see this come to fruition. The first film was a fairly original sci-fi suspense thriller and the second attempted to expand the world and was more of a space opera. The Chronicles of Riddick strayed too far from the essence of Pitch Black and also had a PG-13 rating foisted upon it by the studio. It should come as a relief that this one is definitely a lot closer in tone to the first, and might be even more hardcore, armed with an arsenal of blood-letting, swearing and nudity (in that order).



We’ve all heard the griping that sci-fi action flicks just aren’t what they used to be –compare the entertainingly zany balls-out adventure that was Total Recall (1990) with the recent lifeless remake. Riddick harkens back to that era of unneutered blends of sci-fi, action and horror, an effective mix of “protagonist marked for death” and “things that go bump in the night”-type movies. The somewhat bloated scope of the second film is pared down, the entire movie set on that one barren planet, while Twohy manages to make it less repetitive than the first. There are several nice continuity nods, especially with the character of Johns, but this does function well as a stand-alone flick and newcomers shouldn’t be lost. If you’re looking forward to seeing Karl Urban return as Lord Vaako though, bear in mind that his appearance amounts to nothing more than a cameo.



It’s easy to see why Diesel is so attached to this character – dude’s badass to the bone, the fact that his name can be rendered as “Dick B. Riddick” notwithstanding. The first fifteen or so minutes are essentially Man vs. Computer-Enhanced Wild, with the resourceful Riddick in full survivor mode. Diesel and Twohy wisely keep this from descending into a self-aggrandising vanity project. While Riddick still gets the lovingly-framed shots of him walking in slow motion, the cool action bits and enjoyable one-liners, he doesn’t hog the spotlight and we get to spend a good amount of time with the supporting players (more on them in a bit). A suspenseful, well-staged sequence involving an explosive lock showcases the character’s cunning, as does a nicely-edited scene in which he disables the robotic Cyclops sentry.



The two rival bands of hired guns who descend on the planet in search of Riddick do add an interesting dynamic. There’s nothing about these guys we haven’t seen before and some of them are difficult to distinguish from each other, but somehow, that never becomes a problem. Mollà’s Santana, all bravado and posturing and not much else, is amusing to watch – though he does sometimes border on grating. Nable’s Johns is hard-nosed and militant, but there’s just enough character there and he helps tie this film neatly back to the original – though at just three years older than Cole Hauser, he’s too young to play William Johns’ dad. Dave Bautista plays the giant bruiser (when does he not) but he’s certainly not as wooden as other wrestlers-turned-actors who came before him. Katee Sackhoff gets to break out the tough gal schtick she perfected in the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica series and is reasonably kickass.



Battle-hardened mercs bickering can get boring, so Twohy wisely keeps things moving just enough. The swarms of raptors in Pitch Black were fairly memorable beasties, and the venomous critters in this film benefit from the advancements in CGI over the last 13 years. The other species seen inhabiting this planet is more dog-like, and Riddick even grooms one into a pet, in a moment that might be too twee for some. While the production design is solid, there is less spectacle on display than in The Chronicles of Riddick, but this goes with the territory of bringing the franchise back to its roots. There’s a fun hover-bike sequence thrown in for good measure; one does get a kick out of seeing Riddick astride a futuristic hog.



Grim and gritty may be the action movie flavour du jour, but Riddick pulls it off better than others. Vin Diesel might not be regarded as the best actor around, but he’s passionate about the character and clearly enjoys strapping on those goggles. Backed by a small assortment of miscreants, Riddick ends up feeling much more like Pitch Black and might even be an improvement on that.

Summary: Long-time fans of Riddick’s exploits should take a shine to this third go-round that recaptures the tension and atmosphere of the first movie but doesn’t feel like a retread.

RATING: 4 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Star Trek Into Darkness

For F*** Magazine, Singapore

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

Director: J. J. Abrams
Cast: Chris Pine, Benedict Cumberbatch, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, John Cho, Simon Pegg, Alice Eve, Peter Weller, Bruce Greenwood
Genre: Sci-Fi, Fantasy
Run Time: 123 mins
Opens: 16 May 2013
Rating: PG-13

With 2009’s Star Trek, director J. J. Abrams had set a course for the future of the series with a film that thoroughly invigorated what was, up to that point, largely seen as a flagging franchise. References to Star Trek in popular culture had been relegated to jokes about basement-dwelling man-children squinting through coke-bottle glasses, and it was a widely-held stereotype that “Trekkies” (the preferred term is apparently “Trekkers”) just weren’t ‘cool’. Love it or hate it, Star Trek ’09 made the series accessible to the masses and perhaps the sexy young cast, the action sequences and the lens flares were just a way of helping the movie-going public at large let down their collective guards and learn to appreciate this cornerstone of science fiction through new eyes.

With Star Trek Into Darkness, Abrams and his cast and crew continue to blaze a trail through the cinematic cosmos. We begin right in the middle of the action, just as the preceding movie did – only this time, we follow the crew of the Enterprise as they embark on a misadventure on the planet Nibiru. Kirk (Pine) and Bones (Urban) get pursued by angry spear-wielding natives as Sulu (Cho) and Uhura (Saldana) lower Spock (Quinto) into an active volcano on the brink of eruption in order to neutralize it with a cold fusion device. Just another day in the office for them, then.




Kirk and company return to Starfleet Headquarters in San Francisco, where the higher-ups are none too happy about the recklessness they displayed on Nibiru. This is interrupted by a new threat: an unstoppable one-man terror cell who goes by the name of “John Harrison” (Cumberbatch). Kirk leads the crew of the Enterprise in pursuit of Harrison, armed with 72 photon torpedoes and with newbie Dr Carol Marcus (Eve), daughter of Starfleet head Admiral Marcus (Weller), on board. Chief Engineer Scotty (Pegg) is suspicious of the contents of said weapons but his concern is initially unheeded. What follows is a dangerous quest that takes our heroes to the Klingon homeworld of Kronos (or Qo'noS), leading them to the discovery of the torpedoes’ secret payload and the truth behind John Harrison’s beef with Starfleet.

Now, this is how you make a summer blockbuster. A tentpole sci-fi action flick doesn’t have to be two hours of mind-numbing, cacophonous dross. Abrams, along with writers Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Damon Lindelof and the countless others involved have brought us a film that is fresh, relentlessly exciting and overflowing with white-knuckle action, and none of this at the expense of a compelling story or well-drawn characters. From the very first minute, this reviewer was yanked right into this fantastical world. Abrams all but announces “buckle up, because it’s going to be one hell of a ride” – and what a ride Star Trek Into Darkness is.




The Star Trek series has a magnificent legacy and has had an immeasurable impact on the genre, and to chuck all that away for all flash and no substance would be something of a crime. That’s not the case here. Sure, there seems to be barely a minute to stop and catch one’s breath, but that’s probably preferable to a film that drags on and on any day of the week. The film has no shortage of pizazz in the form of stunning visual effects work, witty banter and edge-of-your seat near misses galore. Despite having “darkness” in its title, this flick is far from dour or depressing. References, homages and shout-outs are skilfully weaved into the fabric of the story and some may disagree, but this reviewer feels this iteration of Trek actually is very respectful of what went before – just not slavishly so.

One of the many things the first film got right was its casting, with the Enterprise staffed not by a troupe of impressionists, but by actors who got the spirit of the characters they were portraying but weren’t afraid to put a bit of a spin on things. The opening sequence is a brilliant way to reacquaint audiences with the characters without an exposition-heavy recap. We get the sense that these guys are family now, and like any family they have their idiosyncrasies, but they certainly feel more at home on the bridge, in the engineering bay or wherever than they did as fresh faces in the first film.



In this movie, Captain Kirk truly comes into his own as leader of a starship crew and father to his men, Pine further proving there’s more to him than just his handsome mug. Sure, Kirk’s still the brash, womanising guy we all love (we catch him in bed with two be-tailed alien sisters) but there is character growth to be had. The ever-uneasy friendship between Kirk and Spock also gets a fair amount of play, and there are some great moments between the two, ranging from casual brickbats to a pretty dramatic bit near the end of the film. Quinto conveys Spock’s struggle to get in touch with his human side, his resistance to emotion driving a wedge between him and Uhura, but never hits us over the head with this.




Just as in the earlier film, everyone gets a chance to strut his or her stuff – for example, Sulu even gets to be acting captain. Simon Pegg as Scotty and Karl Urban as Bones in particular stand out in this one, both bringing different brands of comic relief to the proceedings while functioning as far more than merely “the funny guys”. Bones mentions that he once performed a Caesarean on a Gorn and delivered octuplets. It’s a funny bit that’s also a nice nod to the original series.  Speaking of alien species, there’s a tribble which turns out to be integral to the plot. This is also brilliant.

Of course, the attention is square on Benedict Cumberbatch as the villain of the piece. Suffice it to say that fangirls of his (who call themselves “Cumberbitches”) will not be disappointed. The guy is a riveting actor, one who knows when to chew just the right amount of scenery in order to not come off as silly. There has been a spate of more “intellectual” villains in blockbuster movies as of late, but Cumberbatch does enough to differentiate himself from the bunch and Harrison isn’t just all brains and no brawn – he single-handedly takes on a Klingon patrol in one action sequence.




Star Trek Into Darkness is such a thrill that this reviewer left the theatre kind of breathless, but also really pumped. It’s a big, big movie, but not the kind that’s an extravagant insult to the intellects of audiences everywhere. Abrams has crafted a sequel that ups the game and elicits cheers, laughter, goosebumps, excited fist-pumping and even a tear or two at all the right moments. And isn’t that warp effect just so sparklingly beautiful?

SUMMARY: J. J. Abrams has assembled everything needed for an involving, supremely entertaining big-ticket picture and somehow made it even more than the sum of its parts. It’s such an impressive ship that even Scotty would be jealous.

RATING: 5 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Dredd

For F*** Magazine, Singapore

Movie Review                                                                                                             18/9/12

DREDD

2012

Starring: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Lena Headey

Directed by: Pete Travis

            2012 has been quite the year for marquee-name superheroes: Batman, Spider-Man, the Avengers…they’ve all made quite the splash. Now, along comes the underdog: Judge Dredd, not from big guns DC or Marvel, but British sci-fi comics imprint 2000 AD. Judge Joseph Dredd has made it to the big screen once before in 1995’s Judge Dredd – though that left quite the bitter taste in the mouths of many a 2000 AD devotee. Now, everyone’s favourite helmeted future lawman hops back astride his lawmaster motorbike and into cinemas.

            Our story takes place in Mega-City One, a sprawling, chaotic hellhole of a megapolis on the east coast of what was once North America. The only thing keeping the peace? The Judges of the Hall of Justice, specially trained and equipped men and women who form an ultra-police force of sorts. Joseph Dredd (Urban) is one such Judge, and today he’s tasked with assessing newbie Judge Cassandra Anderson (Thirlby) by taking her out for her first day in the field. She may not look like she has what it takes, but Anderson is a powerful psychic empath, her skills a valuable asset to the Judges. Dredd and Anderson go to investigate a triple homicide in the mega-apartment complex Peach Trees, arresting clansman Kay (Wood Harris) - only to find themselves trapped in the locked-down building by the ruthless drug lord Ma-Ma (Headey), Ma-Ma bent on ensuring the Judges have no chance to take Kay to interrogation. It’s 200 storeys of hell for Dredd and Anderson – and judgement day for the scores of Ma-Ma’s henchmen out for their blood.

            A common complaint among us moviegoers these days is that Hollywood seems to be falling back increasingly on ‘reboots’, ‘remakes’ and ‘re-imaginings’, that it seems studio executives are content with coasting on an established franchise’s name as opposed to coming up with something original. However, if ever there was a character and a movie who needed a reboot, it would definitely have to be Judge Dredd. The 1995 film left a sour taste in the mouths of 2000 AD devotees – the tone was all wrong, it was way too clean and commercialized, and Sylvester Stallone seemed to have huge amounts of trouble trying to pronounce the word ‘law’. The folks at 2000 AD seemed to share this sentiment, and legend has it that Judge Dredd’s co-creator John Wagner walked up to Stallone on the set of the film and told him “you’re shooting the wrong script.” Ouch.

            It’s safe to say that 2012’s Dredd is an exponential improvement. The first thing this one’s gotten right is the tone. The 1995 Judge Dredd was much too colourful and soft, but here we get the impression that Mega-City One is truly the nastiest, nastiest place anyone could ever have the misfortune of calling home. It’s been noted that many recent films set in futuristic dystopias compromise a tad, with elements that still make that world look attractive – well, Dredd isn’t one of them. Its milieu is unflinchingly depressing, as raw a portrait of a city gone to hell in a hand basket as you’ll ever see onscreen.  This realm of grim squalor is one where it would make sense to have a police force on steroids, as it would seem to be the only way to even attempt to keep things in check, and the filmmakers have successfully sold  this conceit. The illicit substance ‘slo-mo’, a drug that makes time seem like it’s passing at 1% its normal speed, is a great excuse for some flashy slow-motion shots that may seem gimmicky, but are honestly a nice break from the intensity of it all. 

            And how about Dredd himself? Once again, this film has topped its predecessor by leaps and bounds, Karl Urban is a far, far better fit for the character than Stallone ever was. Urban marshals a tough, uncompromising figure of justice, expertly balancing the sides of underappreciated do-gooder and tough, no-nonsense supercop. In the hands of a less-skilled actor, Dredd could have easily become a laughable, overly-posturing caricature of macho bravado. However, Urban plays the part with remarkable restraint, and it is also admirable that he turns in such a riveting performance with his eyes obscured by his visor for the whole film (as it should be) – the eyes being one of the greatest tools any actor has in his/her arsenal.

            Olivia Thirlby is a revelation as Judge Anderson, and this could well her breakout role. She is fresh-faced and beautiful, a rookie out of her depth but one who musters up every ounce of courage to hide her fear and face the harshness of the outside world head-on. Anderson’s conflict regarding excessive uses of force and the brutal nature of the job is handled laudably by Thirlby; instead of slouching in a corner bawling “I DON’T WANT TO SHOOT THAT MAN!” she’s able to convey the muted turmoil in quite an understated fashion. There’s a fantastic scene where she enters Kay’s mind, and as he tries to shock her with ghastly mental images, she gamely one-ups the lowlife with mind games of her own. The other female presence Lena Headey makes for an intimidating villainess, a large scar marring the actress’s normally-gorgeous visage. Thing is, Ma-Ma isn’t a particularly memorable or remarkable villain, and truth be told she doesn’t do much, spending much of the film dictating her mooks as they do her dirty work for her.

            This leads us to the weaknesses of the film. The story is laid out in pretty familiar fashion – it’s our heroes trapped in the wrong place at the wrong time, the odds stacked 200 storeys against them, having to fight their way to the big boss at the top floor. It’s quite Die Hard, and really, really reminded this reviewer of the Indonesian sleeper hit martial arts movie The Raid: Redemption. It’s just not a particularly interesting premise, and means the action is largely confined within the Peach Trees complex. This is a way of working around the limited $45 million budget, we suppose, but ends up becoming quite formulaic. There are also issues with the pacing, and the film drags itself out considerably, leading up to what can be considered a lackluster climax. Most of the film consists of Dredd taking on or running away from scores of thugs, which can get a little bland after a while. There is a fantastic action sequence set in a drug lab which pits Dredd against three corrupt fellow Judges, and this reviewer would have loved to see more scenes of this nature that allow Dredd to truly show off how much of a badass he is. The 3D is halfway-decent, but results in an already dimly-lit film looking even darker because of the polarization.

            Dredd lays the groundwork for what has the potential to be a truly incredible, refreshingly visceral comic book movie franchise. It pulls no punches with its hard violence that’s sure to get some squirming in their seats, and seems to have nary a sense of Hollywood mega-studio artificiality to it. It’s just that the story of this film probably isn’t the best that could have taken place in the environment, and hopefully a sequel comes along that will progress the grim world of Mega-City One even further.

SUMMARY: Dredd serves up Urban justice on a plate, and in terms of style and tone is exactly what 2000 AD fans will wholeheartedly enjoy. However, this is clearly just to lay the Mega-City’s foundations, and hopefully will be followed up with more compelling and exciting entries to come.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 STARS

Jedd Jong

Priest

PRIEST

2011 Release

Starring: Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q, Karl Urban

Directed by: Scott Stewart

            Paul Bettany seems to have a thing for tough, butt-kicking religious types: he played an assassin monk in The Da Vinci Code, an uzi-wielding archangel in Legion (also by director Scott Stewart), and in this Korean comic book-based film is the titular warrior priest, a specially-ordained vampire fighter. When his niece Lucy (Lily Collins) is kidnapped by vampires, the Priest (Bettany), rendered redundant after the human-vampire wars, goes back into action to rescue her, assisted by small town lawman Hicks (Gigandet), and his former colleague the Priestess (Q), facing off against the villainous human-vampire hybrid Black Hat (Urban).

            The main problem with this movie is that it brings nothing new to the table. Warrior priests aren’t new, vampire wars aren’t new and totalitarian religious regimes aren’t new either. In fact, the whole movie can be turned into a game of “spot-where-this-came-from!” Elements are liberally borrowed from such movies as the Underworld films, the Mad Max films, Blade Runner, Equilibrium, V for Vendetta and so on. Black Hat’s getup is straight out of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly and even the monstrous hive guardian brings to mind the rancor beast from Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.

            The film is droll, joyless and takes itself far too seriously. Movies like this are meant to be escapism, and the 3D adds very little to the uninspired mix. The characters are mostly one-note and the cast doesn’t have to do very much. In addition to the cross tattooed on his forehead, all Bettany needs to carry him through the movie is a scowl. However, Karl Urban seems to be having fun, chewing the scenery as the big bad, but even he is underused. Also, what on earth is veteran actor and Oscar-nominee Christopher Plummer doing here?

            Sorely lacking in imagination, energy and about as soulless as the vampires in it, Priest is far from a fun night out at the theatre. However, it does have decent visual effects and a stylish animated prologue going for it. But in the end, maybe paying your own priest at church a visit is more worthwhile– he’s probably more fun.

SUMMARY: Bringing nothing new to the table, Priest is a lifeless, paint-by-numbers post-apocalyptic thriller. Get your warrior priest/vampire war fix elsewhere.

RATING: 2/5 STARS

RED: Retired, Extremely Dangerous

So the first review to be posted is also my latest. Red is now showing in theatres.

Movie Review                                                                                                             11/11/10

RED

2010

Starring: Bruce Willis, Mary Louise-Parker, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren

Directed by: Robert Schwentke

Summit Entertainment/diBonaventura Pictures.

            “Life begins at 60” has, for a long time, sounded like a pithy excuse to keep the elderly in the workforce and deny them their pension. However, there are some who get more badass with age. Just a couple of months earlier there were The Expendables, a gang of soldiers who had seemingly past their prime but could still do some serious damage. Giving Stallone and co. a run for their money are the team from RED, which stands for “Retired; Extremely Dangerous”. And there is ample proof that those two terms are not mutually exclusive at all.

            Frank Moses (Willis), once one of the CIA’s best agents, has settled into a mundane routine in suburban Cleveland. Moses is nurturing a relationship-by-telephone with Sarah (Louise-Parker), a customer service agent from his pension office, and decides to go down to Kansas to see her.

            Frank is assaulted in his home by a squad of heavily-armed mercenaries, and is made fully aware that his past has caught up with him, and that the CIA has decided to silence him and anyone else who was witness to war crimes committed in Guatemala. The young(er) and ruthlessly efficient agent William Cooper (Karl Urban) is tasked with taking Frank out.

            Sarah is swept up into the whole mess as Frank hops around the country to reassemble his former teammates, a motley crew of similarly-retired and similarly-dangerous characters. There’s Joe (Morgan Freeman), disappointed with life in a nursing home, Marvin (Malkovich), delusional, unhinged but still a sharp operative and Victoria (Mirren), on the surface a genteel and proper elderly lady but a lethal marksman, with some assistance from Ivan (Brian Cox), a former KGB agent and rival.

            It turns out that the team have uncovered a far-reaching conspiracy involving the Vice-President of the United States (Julian McMahon) and wealthy arms-dealer Alexander Dunning (Richard Dreyfuss). And anybody standing in their way had best get out or be prepared to feel a lot of pain.

            Though it doesn’t look like it at first, Red is based on a Homage Comics graphic novel, by Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner. However, the film bears little resemblance to the source material, but this is a rare case where that may be to the film’s benefit. As opposed to the serious and gritty graphic novel, the film version of Red is an action-comedy through and through.

            Action-comedies happen to be my favourite film genre. However, it is also a very tricky one. The balance of action and comedy must be just right, and there must also be other elements - style, emotion and the like - to complement the action and the comedy. For me, the benchmark was set by James Cameron’s True Lies, which delivered a highly effective one-two punch of big crazy action set pieces combined with belly laughs.

            Red is different but by no means worse than True Lies. It is that rare gem where everything comes together just right. The cast, the story, the camera work, the action sequences and everything else in-between fit just right. Normally, when a film is described as “patchwork”, it’s not a good thing. But this is a patchwork movie in the same way a beautiful quilt is also a patchwork. The film has style, but a style that is unpretentious and fun to watch, as opposed to sometimes pretentious “stylistic” movies.

            To compare it to the afore-mentioned The Expendables, in which Willis had a cameo, Red seems to triumph. On the surface, both are “Geriatric A-Team”-type action flicks. The former however, for all its macho bravado and nostalgic 80s-style hard action, was a reunion of action heroes with the plot a mere excuse. On the other hand, Red doesn’t take its superstar cast for granted and has many other elements going for it. Perhaps it has more in common with Morgan Freeman’s previous film The Maiden Heist, a whimsical and well-acted comedy that also had older stars.

            It’s hard to come by a good, genuinely funny comedy that is not overly cynical or sardonic. Red is at its core sweet and sincere. Yes, a movie with explosions, missile-launchers, smoke bombs and car crashes is, at its core, sweet and sincere. Red is ultimately very character-driven, and as such it is a good thing that the cast does an outstanding job. With John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Richard Dreyfuss and Morgan Freeman on the list, one could well mistake this for some Oscar-bait drama. And that’s one of the film’s many strengths: its cast do not seem to consider this to be frivolous or beneath them, and give their all while appearing to be having a blast.

To approach the film from a literary standpoint, its core theme seems to be about rediscovering youth. The two love story subplots, the first between Frank and Sarah and the second between two other characters (I won’t spoil it for you) feel like teenage crushes, puppy love almost, with the gunfights and fisticuffs keeping them from becoming cloying or saccharine. Marvin’s LSD-induced antics seem amusingly juvenile, like that of a crazy stoned youngster. And nobody does unhinged like John Malkovich, believe you me.

            Bruce Willis lets his softer side come through in-between dealing out pain to the bad guys, Karl Urban plays an anti-villain of sorts with a sympathetic edge, Helen Mirren is a blast as the gun-toting-yet-refined Victoria, Morgan Freeman affable as ever, Richard Dreyfuss gleefully evil and Mary Louise-Parker the perfect girl-next-door who finally gets the excitement she’s always wanted.

            Robert Schwentke, who previously ramped up the suspense in Flightplan, proves he can handle kinetic action scenes competently as well. It is amazingly refreshing to be able to watch a proper shootout sequence without the breakneck speed editing, headache-inducing camera angles and unnecessary bells and whistles. And Dame Helen Mirren firing away 50 calibre bullets is a sight that has to be seen to be believed.

            Red may well be my favourite movie of the year thus far. Its combination of heart, style and adrenaline make it a winner. Most of its stars may be age 55 and above, but this is one very fresh film. Red gets my green light.

RATING: 4.5/5 STARS

Jedd Jong Yue